Aspies and Social Awkwardness v. Social Anxiety

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I can see one leading to the other, but both can be independent of each other.

Socially awkward means you don't interact properly with others...but you can be very social in spite of it. Until you realize how badly you interact with others, you have no reason to start avoiding social situations or feeling stressed by them.

Social anxiety is just a fear of social situations. You might be completely "normal" around other people but find the interaction stressful or scarey.

I have just been diagnosed as "Extremely High Functioning" Asperger's and, through online research (clinical and personal stories), I'm seeing figurative big, red, neon signs, with "THIS IS ME" all over them. In fact, I can also trace symptoms back as far as my mother, who we always knew was "off," but we were never sure why.

My question, I'm afraid, is a bit (possibly) convoluted, because I also suffer from OCD (obsessive thoughts) and ADHD, but even thought I've asked this of a therapist before, it's more important to me now, I think.

When I first requested a test a few years ago, I was denied because, "I presented too well," and the doctor basically brushed it off as "So what if you are?"

I have always considered myself an extrovert, outgoing, I've been told I'm approachable, I love social interaction. On the other hand, I (ashamed) tend to find people with a certain degree of social awkwardness difficult to deal with or understand, and I tend to get "annoyed," which is a feeling I don't like to have.

So, while I have been enjoying the freedom of my diagnosis for a week, I was struck by a terrifying thought last night (which prevented me from sleeping).

Is it possible that I "perceive" myself to be far more 'socially intune' than in fact, I am? Meaning, do "I" think I'm doing fine, but people around me are reading, "Whoa! What's up with her?" Normally, I would assume I was just being sort of 'paranoid,' which is common, but once before, I asked a therapist to prove that I wasn't a psychiatric patient sitting comatose in a ward somewhere, and this "life" I was leading wasn't a figment of my imagination.

The reason I ask (among others) is that my mother *clearly* did not know that she didn't fit in, and I never understood how someone could be that "clueless." But now, I'm wondering if I am, too.

My therapist's only answer (to my question about the psych patient) was, "So what if it is?" And she has verified that I'm not crazy. (sigh)

So, am I alone in this type of cognitive ir(rational) reasoning?

I experience both. Whenever my mom forces me to be social, I know this will cause my anxiety to increase and in turn, I feel that I will embarass myself by being socially awkward, therefore social situations I try to avoid.

My therapist assured me today, that I don't "present" with the outward appearance of most Aspies, but suggested it was because my Mother, who we think was more socially-awkward, modeled behavior which I learned was not effective.

The therapist opined that I "overcame" Mom's shortcomings by learning to navigate the world, but that the processing/reasoning difficulties are my internal struggle, because I hide most of my outward anxiety behind laughter and sarcasm.

She also referenced The Big Bang Theory, and told me I had all the "good" traits about all of the characters, but not all the "obvious" traits would necessarily be found in one person. She said, "you are sort of what Sheldon would be like if he were human, and funny."

This diagnosis is actually a relief, but I'm still dealing with a lot of issues (such as OCD & ADHD) and we don't have a definite "diagnostic" result yet, other than it's "positive."

Both.

I am quite socially awkward indeed, and this is the cause of my social anxiety.
I have been bullied over my social differences my entire youth, so i am very much afraid to let those differences show nowadays: i don't want to be labeled "the weirdo" again.

I am aware that this is irrational as adults are not as bad as teens and adolescents, but it's just like a fear of open spaces, enclosed spaces, speaking in public... all of them are irrational, most sufferers know this, but they still experience the fear...

I've got both, and I think they kind of feed each other. Anxiety leads to awkwardness, and awkwardness leads to discouraging social feedback (or avoidance) and it just builds on itself in a closed loop that can be hard to adjust.

Social awkwardness has been an on-again, off-again problem. This didn't matter much when I was very young, as there weren't a lot of strict norms in kindergarten, but it eventually became a problem and I eventually learned to not draw attention. Still, I'm not and will probably never be charismatic, impressive, or popular. The most I can do is hope it comes across as unpretentious or that people assume glasses and strangeness mean I'm some kind of secret, absent-minded genius (I'm not).

Social anxiety I eventually developed due to bad experiences and just not understanding very well, but it's gone way down the past few years.

Experience both. Being so awkward makes me EXTREMELY anxious.

Both, I have tried all types of coping techniques when I am out in public. But in the end, I come home exhausted, confused and frustrated.

I experience both but the anxiety bothers me much more than the awkwardness. If I'm awkward and people think I'm weird, that's their problem. But the social anxiety makes it very hard to meet people.

I have both and my dad would get on me if I said too much.He was of the [real] old school better to be seen and not heard.

I experience both.My Social Awkwardness has led to no one accepting me and has prevented me from even finding dates,which created social anxiety.Due to my Social Anxiety,I have pretty much stopped bothering even trying to initiate conversations with other people within the last couple of years.

I was so lucky to find a great person the 2nd time.She has to put up with my problems but having a high IQ she can make things work for the better.

I think social anxiety is mainly the fear of being judged, feeling not good enough. I think people with social anxiety can form conversations and can catch up clues and have NT thought patterns. Both can happen, I have #2 6 years now but before I got it, I know I couldn’t understand how to have Contact with other peers. You can get misdiagnosed pretty easily.