-MSN messenger - social issue

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ummmm well i dont have that problem.......anymore ever since i have been all bubby and over the top with people you know being happy all the time people just want to talk to me and now 18 months later its still working, all you need to do is to establish a strong friendship or relationship and it works.
good luck

Yeah... I've fallen out of touch with a lot of people who are still currently on my list because I got fed up and stopped sending the first "hi" and they never reciprocated after that. One guy in particular, we used to be really great friends and talked a LOT when we both participated in the same forum, but the forum closed down and then our friendship just slowly dried up. About the sum of it now is that occasionally I'll send him a link to a funny pic and get a "lol" or he'll send a funny link and I'll go "lol, cool" back. It's kinda sad, but I don't know how to reopen social interaction between us without having a shared project... Is that a general thing, to have difficulty interacting without some shared interest to talk about all the time?

On the flip side, there's a few people who say "hi" to me first. Or, well, maybe not. See, this one person will say

"Rawr"

or ":O"

or "Freawaruuu"

and I really don't know what to say to that XD So I usually say "hi" and maybe get a "hi" back and then we're done for the night. It has been irritating me recently to the point where I occasionally don't acknowledge the ":O" which is even worse because I did used to like talking to this person too! But not if she doesn't say anything I can reply to! I MEAN WHAT DOES SHE WANT FROM ME??? God sometimes it's like I'm talking in Morse code and they're answering in semaphore...

...story of my life really.

Hmm I hardly ever make the first move on msn, because I don't need to. I have a fair few people that I talk to regularly and somehow I manage to entertain and interest them enough to come back again I guess I am very chatty once someone has my trust and I know them reasonably well. It's hard to put a timeframe on how long this really takes though.

I have a bunch of work people on my list of which I am only really friendly with one person, and maybe the boss when he's in the mood to chat I think when it comes to msn and face to face friendships, its a game of give and take. If someone initiates and all you say is "Hi" and then ignore this...What motivation does the person have to continue talking to you? In some cases they may even feel rejected and think that they weren't "good enough" for you to respond to. There is no difference in how this works between msn and face to face communication, people are people.

I tend to create friendships based on an initial common interest or goal. It's quite hard as I am sure a lot of you find to approach someone "cold" and then one day become best friends. In my experience that only worked in preschool. Anyways I allow it to develop from there over time and eventually more common interests are found and some altogether new subjects are introduced that you may find interesting and can learn from (Either from you to the person or Person to you). This is what makes the friendship continue and what keeps it interesting.

If when someone initiates contact on msn you always talk about something new that happened to you or make them laugh then essentially you have made yourself interesting and the person will desire to keep talking to you. They will remember your last interaction as positive and this instinctvely makes them come back to you for "more".

Most of my contacts don't even come on anymore! :/

About 5% of the time on MSN, I say the first "Hi". In chat rooms I never message anyone- I always wait until someone messages me, then the conversation goes from there. I tried talking on audio in the microphone to someone on MSN, but after I said "Hello" my mind just got nervous and froze. I could NOT think of one thing to say into the mic to strike up conversation. The other person hollered "Talk to me" in their mic, but I guess they got fed up with me then got offline. I can't seem to get in touch with them to say that I'm sorry. Oh, I can't help my bad social skills.

I think IM is used nowadays as an "internet transmission." Like if there's a funny video, image, site they would send you they'll do it over IM.

Anyway I used to do the hi thing, but about a year or two ago I decided to quit initiating. True rarely I get someone to message me, but I'm also not wrapped up in whether so and so will message me and I have time to my own devices.

I do initiate occasionally - though it's because I have something to say and not just idle chit and chat.

I've got about 2 or 3 good friends that I can "safely" initiate conversations with on MSN, if I talk to them a lot or have something important to say then I feel more comfortable speaking to them. Otherwise I tend to be shy, if those few friends are not online then I won't talk, and tend to wait for other random people to say hello while I'm online - I'll check my sites and post on forums otherwise.

I get offended if I initiate a conversation and people don't say hello back, I'm reluctant to talk to them then because I don't know if they're away or deliberately ignoring me. Like the other day, one of my "safe" friends left a group chat that me and someone else initiated because he seemed to be too busy to talk. My other friend (whom, I might add, can be like a dog with a bone when it comes to asking questions) keeps asking if I'm going to speak and I'm like "No, I'll let him come to me in case he can't talk". As I've just "come out" as an Aspie online, I've not told any of those friends yet but will make sure the "safe" friends are the first ones I tell over MSN!

90% of my MSN contacts are currently blocked, and have been blocked for years.

Usually, the only people who strike up conversations with me are people who want something. annoying people who can't figure out simple things themselves and want my help. Though they neglect to notice that I'm pretty stupid myself. So I block them because they never shut up and often speak in txt spk, which I can't stand.

The few people I don't mind talking to seem to never have much to say at all, I don't have much to say either and so conversatiosn tend to be very slow.