I don't feel like I need friends.

Post Reply New Topic

Sometimes it is nice to talk to people and listen to what other's have to say. I am not very good at face-to-face interactions, so I have a few online penpals instead. I like to get to know people, I just don't know how to. But actual friendship is not a very strong urge that I have.

Same here. I'm perfectly content with being alone. I've come to prefer it. In my undergrad psych class I learned about schizoid personality disorder. It's been suggested to me that I may have it.

People bring me nothing but stress, drama, and irritation. Then again, maybe I just haven't met the right kinds of people I click with. It doesn't help with me being an asexual aspie, just cannot relate to most people.

...yet, we are all here in an effort to connect socially with other human beings.

Touché

Typing in text and having a machine showing responses is hardly social. No facial stuff to screw with, or close personal contact to handle. This form of communication is a godsend for a lot of people, so that's why there are many here.

The get-together in March. Now THAT ought to be interesting..

Minimize it all you want, but this is a social situation. The reason it's a godsend for some people is because human beings require social interaction and this is what they can deal with.

So, what is it that's so disdainful about face to face contact?

Is it harder to deal with rejection and humiliation when the person can also hit you? lol

This is a thought provoking discussion. I like

I think you're both right. This forum is a form of socializing but in a very limited way, which for many people like myself, is better, or should i say, easier than the real thing.

as for my need for friends, i guess the fact that i visit this site and a few other forums probably hints to me needing some type of contact with people, even if it comes across as artificial or mechanical. i try to convince myself that i don't need friends anymore. certainly in real life i've been stabbed in the back, betrayed; i've come across sociopaths, and other people who have taught me to distrust the friendships of others. people either use me for a little while and throw me away once they're tired of me or they're just plain mean from the start. I suppose the saying "once bitten, twice shy" rings correct in this context.

i try to convince myself i don't need friends, but i'm not sure that i'm all that ready to give up on having another decent person to talk to. i suppose my past has made me afraid to try and approach anyone (in real life or the web). i just don't want to be hurt again. my fear of rejection is as strong as its ever been, and is still a massive stumbling block.

I suppose that's life. even good things like making friends can be wrought with uncertainty.

I do find a forum like this easier not just because it's not face to face contact but it's not in real time so you have as long as you want to think of and compose what you are going to say. It's also a lot easier to just not answer at all. I don't use chat rooms or ims and barely even talk to people in the mmorpg I play.

Yeah, I like to edit myself before I send. In a face to face situation it's all out there - no chance for take-backs and plenty of chance for misunderstanding.

I have exactly 4 people in my life, and I'm not sure how it would feel to have nobody at all. I'm curious about people in general, but I have no burning desire to really be close to anyone, ever again.

Online forums aren't exactly 'friends'; I see it more as a place to exchange ideas. I don't really pay attention to who said what; I'm just curious about what they said.

I used to get lonely earlier in my life but that really isn't the case anymore. Now I prefer to be alone and consider my handful of friends to be too many.

I'm fine with just me and my dad. I don't need anyone else.

I've only had two real friends at most at once. Now I don't care at all. Either way, I think it would be best to see my friends again.

It seems like the desire to not have friends would be very handy for an Aspie. I just want a handful of close connections. Ideally I would like 2-3 close friends I can confide anything in and a boyfriend. Outside of that I dont care about much more social interaction or "acquaintance" friends who use you for their own entertainment and shake you off like a deer tick when you dont appease their tastes anymore. Who needs to put up with that crap?

I believe this would sum up my son's feelings in a nutshell. Thank you for the perspective. He is 12 yrs old and the school has been telling me for years how they are concerned for his social well-being; he plays alone at recess, doesn't like to work in groups, etc. It seems to bother everyone but him! I come from a very social and outgoing family, but it's time for us to look outside of the box on this. Being alone does not mean you are lonely. For some, even a group of three or four can be overstimulating and "crowded."

I would like to either improve the quality of the maybe five decent friendships I have, or get five or so more of them. Society, however, seems to want me to have at least 100 friends! That would be too much of a time sink for me - I'd go crazy without any time alone!

I would like to get a girlfriend locally, but honesty and directness matter FAR more to me than looks. Society would perhaps want me to have a "hot" girlfriend, although the pressure there is less than for a large friend count.

Ideally, I would indeed get a job, marry, have kids, live in a house, and retire at the age of 70 or so (which the retirement age is likely to be raised to at least by the time I get up around there!) The wife, and therefore the kids, may not actually happen though.