Being asked what you do for a living....

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Billybones
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05 Mar 2012, 2:35 pm

Sometimes I just say I'm "on hiatus". Other situations, where I know that the person is sizing me up or forming an opinion about me, I refer back to my last "real" job.

Sometimes it's just a conversational ice-breaker, but usually it's more than that. Deconstructed, when a person asks this question, what he/she is really trying to do is gauge social status . . . high earner, successful, winner; or low earner, struggling, loser. After all, in our society people are judged more on their financial status than on their character; or rather, financial status is seen as an indicator of character. Those who are doing well are presumed to be upstanding, honorable & morally upright, while those who aren't are presumed to be lazy, shiftless, incompetent, stupid & morally suspect. I guess this is why alot of people will do anything to APPEAR successful - drive an expensive car, wear nice clothes, live in a fancy house - even if it drives them deep into debt.

As recently as 5 years ago, I was doing pretty well for myself - had a $40K/year job maintaining/updating a web site for a large mortgage banking firm. It was everything I ever wanted in a job - good pay, low stress, supportive environment. I lost this job when the company was bought by another firm, which subsequently went into receivership. Since then I've been a case study in downward mobility. Though I've managed to make ends meet, I've not been able to hold a "real" job for longer than 1 1/2 years, for reasons that might be familiar to fellow Aspies. I've been on unemployment twice, been rejected for it another time. Now I just do odd jobs & try to market some of the skills I have. During the warm season I teach private kayak lessons & canoe lessons to kids at summer camp. It's decent money, but it doesn't seem to have the same cachet as "Webmaster at XXXX Bank".



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06 Mar 2012, 8:21 am

I give people sarcastic answers regardless, some of them include;

"I'm a department head at the Institute of circular reasoning"

"I'm the guy at a slaughterhouse that get to kill off the animals "No country for old men" style"

"Your mom until recently"

and so on.



Bun
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06 Mar 2012, 8:24 am

I think that even if I had a job, it would be none of people's business, and I hate it being made a conversational topic. To me, it seems like people only want certain achievements to be able to show them to others.


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Grebels
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06 Mar 2012, 2:26 pm

Maybe people like to get each other tagged, as to what they are. Your'e a dentist then great, everybody knows who you are. I've been unemployed and told people I was all sorts of other things, mostly true. But tell them you're an artist, then folks just cannot get a handle on that. A classification may not be possible. So it is we artists live on the margins of society, trying to learn not to care what others think of us.



enrico_dandolo
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06 Mar 2012, 3:42 pm

I hate that question because I study and have two jobs, which is a complicated situation. It forces me to explain a lot... Since, by hypothesis, those who ask this question are people I don't know, it means too much talk for too little reason.

I prefer to be asked: "Are a student? In what program?"



lostgirl1986
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06 Mar 2012, 6:05 pm

I hate it too. I don't mind on a forum like this though but in real life I detest it.



shrox
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06 Mar 2012, 6:38 pm

With this job I think I am a mad scientist. Funny how new careers open up.



hanyo
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06 Mar 2012, 7:36 pm

I haven't been asked that in a long time but when I used to go to bars people would ask me that. I think I usually said "nothing" or "I'm retired".



Kalika
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06 Mar 2012, 10:06 pm

Yes, I do find that question annoying..........mainly because I've not yet found a way to describe what a library page does without making the job sound repetitive, boring,.....etc (Which unfortunately, the job often can be, and I've sometimes gotten the impression that someone looks down on me/loses interest in talking because that's what I do for work)



Venerab1e1
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07 Mar 2012, 1:43 am

As an unemployed aspie, yes I hate being asked what I do for a living.



Arman_Khodaei
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07 Mar 2012, 5:17 am

Ironically when I get asked this question, I don't even tell people what my current job is because I feel I can be doing so much better.

I just tell them about the autism groups I run for adults, and the book I'm working on finding an agent for.


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muslimmetalhead
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08 Mar 2012, 8:17 pm

WhoKnowsWhy wrote:
Does this annoy anyone else? I'm always embarrassed to answer the question....I was unemployed for a long time, now I'm just underemployed. Either way, it seems people look down at me. You'd think in the current economy, they would be more compassionate, but nope they shun me.

You may ask why I'm bringing this up in the social skills forum instead of work. The answer is that I keep going to NT social events hoping to meet people, but the first question people ask me is always job/career-related. People are defined by what they "do" in this society.

Should I just stick to Aspie support groups since my peers on the spectrum likely won't be as judgmental?




I'm happy I'm still a student.

However you should seriously think of accounting.


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richardbenson
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12 Mar 2012, 12:24 pm

if you constintly seek peoples approval, you will be thier prisoner. the reason people ask what you do for a living is because thats the way sociaty is set up. in, "keeping up with the jones'es." if you ever watch the news or anything else on TV anytime they interwiew anyone they always disclose what that person does for a living. or just about anything else irl. its always disclosed what you do because people like to judge and ultimatley gossip and snicker

I just tell people i live for a living. i place the uncomfortable social situation back into thier lap, because usually that tells them im un-intrested in answering thier questions


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TheDarkMage
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12 Mar 2012, 1:45 pm

when people ask me what i do i just lie and tell them that i am a computer technician. this is partially true but i havent worked for about 12 years.


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