Aspergers: we just "grow up slower"?

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I feel more immature sometimes than other AS people I've known. I haven't figured out if it's my autism, or just my personality. Maybe both? Everyone just seems so much more functional in their day to day lives.

I agree.

Being an Aspie in many respects is like being 4-5 years behind people socially. In high school, I felt as socially apt as a middle schooler. In college, I feel as a socially apt as a high school student. But I figure, as I get older, and the numbers get higher, the relative difference between me and another person is less significant.

I was about to say "you're wrong", but it's really different for women.


However, You can't just be positive and say "It's okay to be different".

You are just slow at growing, maybe less than men, but still slower.

I agree.

What exactly do you think changed between high school and college for you, though?

Partly I am using this site to help me "figure it out".

I am hoping some sort of epiphany will come from what I learn on here.

I don't think AS is defined as developing slower....otherwise I would resemble someone younger than me in all ways, thing is I will never grow into what a normal 22 year old would be for instance, because its not a matter of just developing slow its a matter of having totally different brain wiring.

I think there is already a condition that more appropriately describes people who develop slowly and/or stop development too early.....I believe its called mental retardation, and last I checked AS and mental retardation are not the same thing.

Sort of.

When I was in primary school I was behind my classmates in terms of development, but now I'm in college I'm ahead. I'm still a bit socially awkward at times but generally I'm fine with socialising nowadays and I'm certainly a lot more mature than my peers.

I guess I was slow to start but now I've caught up and taken the lead

Heh, an old timer, eh? Anyways, I'm ten years younger and graduated high school in 1991. In that time, autism/asperger's was finally starting to get attention, thanks to the movie "Rain Man". Even so, my teachers and therapists had a very hard time pinpointing what was wrong with me. I was assigned to a Special Ed homeroom for the majority of the 7 years I was in junior high and high school, partly because being in normal situations caused me to be bullied more, but mostly because I had very poor social skills as a result of said bullying.

Fast forward 20+ years, and I STILL dread going into situations where I know I have to be social; supermarkets are the worst, because you're guaranteed to have to walk around people to get to what you want, and the certainty of having to talk to the cashier at the end. I just prefer not to go out in public if I can avoid it.

As Solid Snake once said in Metal Gear Solid 1, and this has become my personal philosophy...

"Other people just complicate my life. I don't like to get involved."

Fluttershy11

I think in some regards we do but on the otherhand we grow up differently due to different brain wiring. I still think to some extent that I'm just behind. But then my overall maturity according to the NT scale would be quite a vast range of immaturity and maturity. However during college, I learned so much during a short period of time. I think to some extent, we need to push ourselves if we want to mature according to the NT scale because nature isn't nessarily gonna just allow it to happen.

Half the NTs aren't even mature compared to their scale...

Not EVERYTHING develops slower, just your "intuition" if you get my meaning

I have a combo of mania and Aspergers, but I always thought of it as growing up too early then having to adjust to everyone around me who is growing up at a different pace. I would simply call it different. Not better or worse. I know how I was smarter than average students at some tasks, but I mean on a superficial level, and then slower at other things because I simply didn't care about them. Dressing up. Makeup. Etc. I also think my mom is to blame for not being quite there for me. I feel odd sometimes, that I still feel as smart as I was ten years ago, but only now do people accept it.

I have the same grade on the SAT now as I did when I was 12, but I didn't even try. I don't study for tests, information is just something that's thrown at me. I dropped out of high school and got my ged because I was sick of it, and also manic.

My biggest problem is becoming abstract, simply because it's an easy escape from norms.

I want to be a child again. I want to learn the innocence I felt was taken by the disorder and pain of being treated cruelly by others who did not understand me.

Someone said it's about being different, and I agree with them. Behaviorally, a lot of aspies are just fine. It's the discrimination they face for being "weird" or "odd" that's the problem, not so much their maturity.

As a teen and even an adult I would often "role-play" with dolls or stuffed animals in my bedroom since I was pretty clueless about how to socialize with other people my own age. I don't do that much now, but I wish I did because it was fun. In fact I often feel frustrated and unhappy because I don't seem to be ABLE to do it much anymore. I hate that we use our imagination and fantasize a lot less when we're adults. Anyway, it was okay for me to play with dolls as a kid but when I became a teen it was "wrong" and my mother would try to get me to stop and my older brother would barge into my room and torment me (when our parents weren't home, of course) and sometimes I got so angry at him I did some things that could have caused him serious injury. Although tests showed I was intelligent for a young person many people thought I was very immature.

I'm 23 but I act like I'm still in high school. Some ppl r put off by that.

Actually that makes me more confused. this is the first I've seen intuition mentioned in this thread, and the thread title is 'we just grow up slower' which I disagree with as autism is not defined by 'slower' development.