Passing people in the street

Post Reply New Topic

I come across this dilemma when approaching another person in the street. I never know where to look, I worry that if I look at them they might think ''what's she staring at?'' and stare back at me, and I don't like random strangers staring at me. So I tend to avoid eye contact with strangers all together, which sometimes makes me feel awkward because then they might think, ''why don't she make friendly eye contact? Why's she so nervous?'' which results in them looking at me even more, expecting a bit of eye contact. OK, mostly women want people to look at them, not so much men. That is why I feel more comfortable when passing a man in the street, and if I feel he is looking at me, I take it as a compliment and usually when I look back, he smiles. But generally, men don't look. But when I'm not looking at a woman but can still feel them staring at me, I felt all self-conscious and immediately think they are staring at me to judge or criticise; if they're prettier than me they will criticise, if they're not as attractive as me they will glare with envy. But due to my social phobia and paranoia, I immediately think that a stare from a woman is negative.

So when I see people coming towards me, (ESPECIALLY TEENAGERS!! !) I either panic inside and walk past looking as confident as I can, or I go another way if I can.

I tend to look straight on however if there is a woman wearing a sexy outfit or has a nice booty then i have a quick look at it then move on.

I just did an experiment for the benefit of wrongplanet. On my lunch break, I walked around downtown and tried to make eye contact with every single person I passed: male, female, young, old.

I got 1 nice smile from a woman on a bike, and a few quick glances, but over 90% did not meet my eyes at all. Based on this I would say: do not worry if you find it difficult to interact with strangers in the street. It is not a deficiency or AS trait; but rather a trait shared by the majority.

What you SHOULD NEVER DO is stop walking so that the person doesn't believe you are chasing him / her, and then
grab your cell phone. I did that once, and the girl probably thought I was calling someone to assault her and began to run.
It happened because it was a dark sidewalk, and I was walking too fast.

I only have that trouble with people of the opposite sex. Otherwise it doesn't bother me.

Not your problem. Seems like she was paranoid.

Here in Dallas-Fort Worth the norm is still "southern hospitality", although if you are in one of the downtown areas, then you're dealing with a lot of the business people that are going to be more likely focused on their own lives and work woes.

In general, I was raised to always be courteous, meaning give a nice smile, always say thank you and you're welcome, guys hold doors open for ladies, and ladies are just as nice and helpful. The norm is slight eye contact and a little grin or smile, and maybe a head nod or a greeting of "Hi" or "Hello". Not everyone will make eye contact back, and if they don't, then they're simply not interested in giving a simple courteous greeting, so there's no obligation to give a salutation.

Some of the people get talky, and that's when I really want to roll my eyes, but I resist. Like if you are standing in line at the grocery store, the person in front of you turns around and might start talking about the weather. Because I've grown up with it, I've learned how to remain polite, continue to give my grin and give small one-word answers until it's finally their turn at the register and then they move on. I basically "grin and bear it" until they've left, even though I could care less about Random Person #569 talking to me about the weather for the umpteenth time that day.