I really am on the wrong planet

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Why don't we wanna be like NTs?

Here's a thought:

we can and do influence NTs. Just by standing up (so to speak) and saying, "Hey, I don't do it that way" ..we give them a chance to join us in doing something different.

I think some of them envy some of our characteristics, and perhaps some even try to emulate us a little now and then. Why not?



Well, Bec, some of us do want to be like them. I used to want to.. and I have heard others on this board say they would like to be like them.

PeaceMaker

I know that. I was just trying to say that people can't be what they're not.



I asked my mother (she is NT) when she came home. I will qoute exactly what she said to me:

'Well, I think that NTs think that it would be lonely. It would be sad. Bec, you can go so long without seeing other people and you don't care. We (NTs) wouldn't want to lose that connection with other people. When you keep talking about facts, sometimes it's like, just shut up already. I don't care. Can't you just talk about something fun? I agree, the world would be more efficient, but rather cold. Emotionally disconnected. Bec, you don't need to have a social connection with another person to feel whole, I do.'

So there you have it. NTs can't feel whole without emotional connections.



I have AS and I walk around in packs sometimes. They go to the bathroom in groups to talk. But that is less of a NT thing, and more of a teenage girl thing.



Once again, a teenager thing! I've met people with some very autistic tendencies who couldn't have cared less about their futures, too.



This is also a teenager thing! Teenagers (me included) can have a difficult time telling the difference between love and lust. They think they love someone, but they don't. Instead of saying 'I love you' it would be more accurate for them to say 'I lust after you'!

That makes us sound a bit inferior. Is the implicication here that we cannot express ourselves emotionally? Iam offended.
A

Since when does expressing emotions come easily to us?

It doesn't but we still have emotions
A

Exactly what my mum was saying.



Inferior? Did you not read the part where she agreed the world would be more efficient if everyone had AS? Generally people with AS do emotionally express themselves poorly. If this does not apply to you, axelkat, don't be offended. She was referring to me in our conversation. I am not a very emotional person. I was just trying to help give an explanation of why NTs don't want to be like us. She thinks we are much more brilliant than any NT she knows (except we're a little weirder ).



I'm sorry, but I think you migh have misunderstood my entire post. It never says we don't have emotions or that ours are less genuine than a NT's. Emotional disconnection is not the same as not having emotions.

Last edited by Bec on 01 Mar 2005, 11:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

im sorry i used the word inferior, it just seemed as though she was expressing the AS person as almost like a robot. very efficient but socially and emotionally on a lower level(so cold) almost. Perhaps thats it all gets evened out. inferior was the wrong choice for the thought.
A

your mother is right the more i think about it. i did not read thoughroly(spelling?) and jumped to a conclusion. I formally withdraw my statement.
A

But can we? I think we all need emotional connections on some level to stay sane. I don't like being around 99% of people and I'd rather stay in my room alone, but at the same time, I feel like something is missing. I think for me, the problem is less the hate of all socialization and more the feeling that I'm an alien faking as a human. There are a select few people who I've really been able to click with as I wrote earlier in this post, and it made me realize I really do like clicking, so to speak.

PS, I realize teenagers act like fools sometimes. Just having fun and not caring about your future at 15 is fine by me, but the people I was talking about were in their twenties. They regularly skip classes to get drunk.

You took the words right out of my mouth. I've managed to hide all my problems for so long that everyone just assumes I'm an eccentric NT. For decades I've proudly told my mother of my accomplishments while holding back the psychotic break, suicide attempts, drug abuse and outrageous behaviour that dogged my teen and 20-something years when she wasn't paying attention. Sometimes I tell myself I must be a hypochondriac, but then I'd have no way to explain 99% of what's happened to me over the years.

Yesterday I asked my mother to write up a detailed childhood medical/developmental history for me. (Even if I never go for an official Dx it's something that everyone should have in case they need to give their family doctor the back-story for a new development after their parents are gone.) I didn't even tell her about my suspected AS Dx but mentioned that my dys/gra/phia (split so she doesn't find this post on Google) has gotten much MUCH worse in the last few years. Of course she's in total denial because discovering I've had a hidden PDD for almost 40 years might say something about her parenting. When someone else tells me there's nothing wrong with me it only makes the hypochondriac feelings resurface and I have to beat them down again.

I've always done that, and I doubt it will ever stop. It's one of my most enduring Aspie traits. It drives my bf nuts when he asks me a simple question and I feel compelled to teach him everything I know about the subject. In written forums like this one, I can usually tell when I'm turning into "the little professor" because parenthesis start popping up all over the place and even nesting. I just digress and digress until there's no sentence structure left. Maybe I should just post in XML.

Have you noticed? They always hammer the nail down that's sticking up. You get noticed because you are a bent nail in a world of straight nails. Find a box full of bent nails and nestle in. We are all around you. It's OK to be a straight nail when the situation insists. You who are bent can pretend to be straight but the straight ones can never aspire to being bent. What a wonderful world. For what its worth, Kenorri

Jetson,

Thanks for your post. That was actually one of my posts that I felt bad about since I thought it was too off-topic and self-centered. And thanks everyone else for making WrongPlanet and being here to talk to. This is finally a place a feel I can belong.

very interesting and good analogy
A

Errrrmmmm.... I'm assuming the term "bent" has slightly different connotations in the States to what it does in the UK then? You might want to re-phrase that analogy for a UK audience.....

Obivously, no one can be complete person without some emotional connection to someone else. From my observations, to NTs, emotion and socialisation are the same thing. So a social connection is an emotional connection.