People just 'dropping by'

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I really hate it when it happens, but only three or four people ever drop by to see me, so it's not that often. Two of them don't stay long, one comes prepared to stay the night with her bags packed because she drove from the other side of the state to drop in, and the other is my best friend who sometimes stays a while, other times doesn't. The one who stays the night I've known since 7th grade and I only see her a few times a year and we have fun talking about old times and catching up, but i'ts always hard to shift my plans around. She doesn't mean to be rude, she's had a head injury, for real. Not actual plans of going somewhere etc, but of where Im going to sit in the house and what I'm going to do. Shifting gears mentally is hard like that.

My best friend is much easier because I'm mostly here on the computer. She brings her laptop or phone and sits five feet away on the couch and we both sit in the same room staring at screens and typing to each other and to other people. The only sound is usually one of us laughing over a text or something that the other one sent. She's a closet nerd. After the first few minutes of adjustment with her here, it's like she's not even here. Sometimes we talk too, but I'm very comfortable with her.

I drop in on her as well, but she's always told people "Drop by any time" and if she's busy she has no problem telling people they can't come in. I've learned to do that from her, because even though I'm outspoken on most things, I do feel Southernly obligated when anyone comes to my house.

I have a couple other friends I'll drop by to see, but there is almost like a protocol to it. When you come in, don't sit down till you are asked to. Unless you are asked to sit, then stand and chat and don't stay more than five minutes. Literally just come in to say "hey". If you are asked to sit, you can stay up to twenty, unless you are offered a drink or food or something and then you can stay until you get ready to leave or the host/ess gets up and says "Well, I've enjoyed it...." and then you go. Most people do stick to that so it's not so bad, but close friends have more access.

I have hid in the bed to sleep to avoid people, but my best friend comes in there and climbs on the bed beside me and types on her computer until she's tired of waiting for me to wake up, or I wake up. I don't mind that, I can sleep with her there.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people who drop by to visit and end up staying longer than anticipated. It almost always happens and pisses me off a lot, totally disrupts my routines and habits and they don't care and take priority over me.

OH yes indeed! I wish it were socially acceptable to have a maximum timelimit on visits, or on scheduled parties, ok to set a "welcome time" and a "gtfo time".

Yes I think this would help me as well in terms of knowing when I've overstayed (or under stayed my welcome) at a friend or family members house for instance. Most of our family dinners are at my aunt's house and when my mom and I leave my mom always wonders if we "stayed long enough". There should be set time periods for all social interactions,.............not just a maximum time but just a minimum time too.......so someone would say "You can come over and stay for 2-3 hours........that would make things easier for everyone (I think).

Also I hate it when people just drop by without calling and letting us know in advance (even though only other family members really ever do this).

This. One of the reasons I am not easy to cope with is the fact that I do try to condition people to behave the way I expect them to when it comes to my personal private space, and I do that without room for discussion. The people I consider friends know that I will not welcome guests unannounced, and will only make an exception if it is an emergency. There has been times where it was indeed considered rude to "drop by", where you would announce your comming earlier that day by leaving your card, and then coming back again later, hoping they let you in. Today, everyone can be reached everywhere, everytime. In my oppinion, today, it is not too much to ask to announce your coming via one of the many different kinds of technological fashion available. People have become so dependened on their technological gizmos that they have become one thing: lazy. Too lazy to use the tools at their disposal to make their lives and by this extend the lives of everyone else more comfortable. If you do not take the 1 minute it takes to pick up your cellphone and give me a ring, I will not take the time to open the door, either.

Yeah, like a couple of others, I just don't open my door. Most of time it's salesmen or various clergy anyway.

I find it odd that people are annoyed at this fact. I love when people come by unannounced, I wish more would do it. I love when my friends are over. I don't find it rude when you tell the person you were busy and come back later, but when you consciously don't answer the door, to me that is rude. Someone took the time to go out of their way to see you, it's only fair that if you don't want company then you should answer the door, and tell them that.

I don't like people dropping by. I need a warning to mentally and physically prepare for their arrival.

If they do they could be interrupting something.
I probably won't be dressed. My hair might not even be brushed. My house will probably be a mess.

I don't like people just dropping by. For that matter, I don't like having people in my apartment at all. The exception is if I allow it, by actively opening the door or if it's the maintenance guy. I live in an old complex, so I've had to have him in several times (unclog the toilet, install a new central air unit, etc). My mom and step-dad live out in the country though, and my step-dad likes to take my daughter and me to dinner on the Wed nights before his church meeting. He's taken to just walking into the apartment, with just a quick knock before to announce himself, which they do at their house all the time. I hate it. My apartment is at the front of the complex, right off a very busy street, so it's completely disconcerting to have someone just stroll in. He's a nice man, but I am planning a talk in the foreseeable future.