Have you ever felt that you had to make yourself likable?

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I think we all want some kind of recognition, yet nobody really told us or showed us what to do when we get it. If somebody came up to you and asked you a few questions or trying to have a conversation with you. What are you doing in return? Are you aware that this person is actually interested in you? Does the anxiety come from the fact that we don't want to be placed on the spot, or behind the steering wheel that we start to feel all conscience of what we are doing and saying and then end up derailing it anyway. If I see a girl that I like and would like to speak to her, I would obviously have been staring at her for a while to assess the person. I'm curious to what this person is doing and mannerisms. So if the opposite happens where the other person has been doing the same to us, wouldn't you feel freaked out. I guess I will have to change the way I approach people, try not to stare and not to over think/analyse the situation and just go and act it out. I have tried this but it does feel like when I was a kid on a bicycle with training wheels, as soon as I look down and expect to see my training wheels and realise that I'm all on my own here in front of people I tend to derail, lose my balance and control of the situation. That is where I find myself.

I'm always trying to change myself to get other people to like me. My hairstyle, my clothes, my personality, my interests, talk a lot or not enough because I can't keep my mouth shut, everything you can think of.

It doesn't work. I have given up trying.

Not that I'm a hateful person, but I have had to try to make myself be better company for other people, if that makes sense. Like when I was a child, I used to complain an awful lot, about anything and everything, and people used to always tell me to lighten up a bit and to enjoy myself more. But at the time I never used to realise I was so miserable and whiny all the time, and it was until I got older was when I realised I should cut back on whining a bit (even my little cousin, who was just a toddler back then, used to say that I ''moan a lot''). Now I've got really good at not whining and complaining so much, and I only complain about relavent things what the crowd is complaining about (which is socially acceptable). Before, I used to just complain about things what others weren't complaining about. So now I've learnt that complaining is only acceptable when the crowd is complaining. The only time complaining a lot is acceptable is when you are really popular and extremely extroverted and everyone likes you whatever you do. Otherwise, it's best to keep your mouth shut, unless others are thinking the same. Luckily I have developed another social skill, which is knowing when other people will agree with what I'm complaining about (thank God!)