Fooled by colleague

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I agree with everything Moondust suggested. I'm a (NT) sociologist and I used to work as a manager in an IT department, where I was good friends with an aspie.

I think you should look at this as an opportunity to protect yourself from someone who is being rude and stupid to you and therefore making your work life hard to deal with.

Temple Grandin has said that when feeling a potential meltdown at work, it's optimal for aspies to be able to get away on their own so they can refocus and calm down. However, this may not be an option. Leaving work can get you in trouble. Something else Grandin said, which I totally agree with and think is genius, is that if you are ever pushed to an extreme point at work, to remember that CRYING is socially acceptable, whereas yelling, stimming, and leaving are not.

For some reason, crying at work is never a punishable offense at work in any circumstance. So crying or pretending to cry is a good way to express that you can't take any more and need to get away to the bathroom or parking lot for awhile.

Money and colleagues is such a delicate issue, most employees will do anything not to have money transactions between them so as not to create a situation where it's uncomfortable, because you have to see each other every day whether you want to or not, and work with each other.

I personally would ask her how much I owe her and give her the money immediately, with a happy face, then never in a lifetime lend a co-worker a dime again, just to avoid making enemies in the office. It's hard enough for me to keep a job without these things already.

If they don't have change, then they shouldn't order lunch. If after you pay her, she ever suggests ordering lunch together again, you can get revenge the way NTs do: give her a very nice excuse but that it's clear it's an excuse, yet she can't call you on it. Something like: "I'd love to, but I have an upset stomach today so I'm sticking to tea and toast. Maybe some other time." This is what hurts the most, and if something will make them re-think their attitude, this is it. Giving them the freedom to discover, in privacy with themselves and without losing face, how much they lost from behaving badly towards you.