Was this too harsh

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I consider controlling relationships to be abusive, even if there is no true physical abuse.

Your other examples are legit. Like I said, prob not what's going on, but still concerning.

I'm betting on 3. The friend stated it's 5. It could very well be, though someone who places a lot of value in friendship isn't as torn by this.

This is something with my friends who just Got married, in my experience its usually a sign that the to people dont really like each other and got married because they were in "love" trying to distance themselves from everyone else so they can feel their relationship is stronger, They dont last long give it a year or so and he will be gone and your friend will come crawling back. And thats when ya kick em in the teeth for being a bad friend.

I went and re-read her e-mail yesterday and she told me that she has not been pushing all her friends away. However, she seemed to change her story.

First is was that her husband did not want her talking to her friends and now she is saying she pushed her friends away because she is going through a rough time right now and does not want to dump on her friends anymore. She also did say she would call me when she was ready.

Does this sound like an excuse?

To me personally it doesn't sound like an excuse. I'd try to find a way to lure her into meeting and see if she needs help. If she won't meet, then I'd just leave her be.