Annoying, clingy-as-hell friends

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Okay, but keep in mind that obsession works kind of like a drug addiction. If you have even just a little bit of contact with him, it can cause him to become much more obsessed than he already was. From your description, it's definitely at the point where it's really unhealthy for him.

^yes to this.

I'm currently trying to get over an obsession like this. I have gotten tired of all the time I've been wasting, and all the times its made me want to kill myself, especially since I'm under no other circumstances suicidal. Its turned into so many self perpetuating though patterns that I don't even think the crush I have really matters that much anymore. The memories of the crush are still pretty strong, but Its not like they show up all the time. However, my crushes are rather brutal, and thankfully sparse. Its almost like its determined by whether I really like them or not, and whether I think I have a chance with them. Though I mostly have to avoid thinking about her. And it can boil down to different ways of thinking and coping with different memories. We're not talking right now and I'm not sure we ever will again.

I honestly have been making some progress, my therapist is pretty good. She does recommend that I talk to her. Not a big fan of the whole "cut him off completely" thing. Especially if you do it wrong. My current obsessee kinda did a number on me this last time, and that got really nasty, really fast, I'm surprised I handled that as well as I did. If I ever meet up with her again I might need to figure out some guidelines, so she doesn't hurt me as much. It seemed like I've been trying to teach her how to deal with me the whole time. Though I've never had any other good friends before, which makes things especially difficult.

What exactly did this person do to you?

She posted things on WP dealing with me, then lead me to them. And then ended up leading me to them. Which makes me want to talk to her about them, because I'm not sure we've really discussed them, and I've explained myself fully. But I'm not supposed to badger her, and it had to deal with my friendship with her, and my behavior. So I get upset and send a response to her. But I'm not sure she really wants to talk about it. And she just gets angry and blocks me. But only after I send her another unrelated text message, and I'm not supposed to send her multiple messages in succession if she doesn't respond. So I'm unsure whats shes upset about. She never says anything to me. The last thing she said directly to me is just her saying some odd little fact. I was confused and upset.

When that happens I quit talking to people, I stutter, when I lay in my bed I sometimes just freeze up and can't move. I get massive headaches. And I start losing control over my sense of right and wrong.

Anyway, I think I need to work on my family relationships right now. I've been estranged and scared of them for a while now. Even if I have a rather stable family life, they just always seemed to annoy me. I moved into a dorm at school to get away from all of that, but here I'm running into problems with different people. Still trying to figure out more about what I feel towards other people.

How did she "lead you to them"?

Seems like she's upset because you were badgering her. You said it yourself, so I don't understand why you're so confused. Obviously if you'r annoying a girl, she's going to block you.

Well, she posted on Facebook that the Social Skills section of Wrong Planet was being a terrible help. And her forum profile was blatantly obvious. She really isn't very careful about what she posts online. Maybe she didn't do it on purpose.

It's for reasons that you described that I perfected being a total loner at a very young age, and just avoid making the contacts that might lead to these (and other) annoyances.

Of course, I realize that my solution was probably not the healthy way to deal with it, but it felt pretty natural

So you saw her facebook, then went on wrongplanet to try to find a profile that matched? That's called cyberstalking. Most people don't like that. If she was trying to break contact with you, why do you think she would want "lead" you to WrongPlanet? Your story doesn't add up.

I was interested in learning about the site. I was already thinking about the topic that I found her post. And her profile picture was already one she had used on Facebook. I should of kept quiet I guess. I do have a fixation on her, and its been very hard for me to deal with. And I already said I'm not sure she lead me there on purpose.

Be careful. I have a personal rule of thumb. If I feel I am getting fixated on something... anything ... anyone .... just say no. Walk away. Wait until the obsession ends, or you will just be opening yourself up to a world of trouble, and at the end of the day, you know you will be able to tell yourself you knew it was coming. And the cycle will repeat over and over unless you catch it early and deal with it decisively.

Just my two cents.

Seems to me you're blaming her for your fixation. You say things like "she did a number on me." From what you say, it's pretty obvious that she didn't want your attention and I highly doubt that she would have wanted you to stalk her on WrongPlanet. Why are you blaming her for your inability to control your impulses? I'm still not understanding your logic.

Seems to me you're blaming her for your fixation. You say things like "she did a number on me." From what you say, it's pretty obvious that she didn't want your attention and I highly doubt that she would have wanted you to stalk her on WrongPlanet. Why are you blaming her for your inability to control your impulses? I'm still not understanding your logic.

I'm just trying to describe what happened. No one has to be blamed for anything. I have a fixation, and it has to stop. And I don't understand how arguing about what happened is going to help.

What's alarming is that you're trying to blame the woman for your actions. Maybe you need to take responsibility for yourself and learn how to control your own brain. I was alarmed by your first post, where you blamed the woman and said that you need to establish "guidelines" for her. You're trying to play the victim and it's not healthy. That's like if I stalked someone, broke into their house, and then explained that they "lead" me to their house and therefore they "should be more careful" about where they go. I'm just not sure that logic would hold up in court. Quite frankly, this woman could easily take you to court for harassment if she wanted to. And the fact that you're harassing her is your fault; not the woman's. I know I sound harsh right now, but I'm trying to tell you the truth so you can make the conscious decision to stop the unhealthy behavior.

I happened upon one of her posts here. Past that I guess its my fault for following the rest of them.

I wasn't sure what you were refering to about blaming her, but I wanted to set guidelines in order to keep my condition from worsening. And if I have to do that I guess I should stay away from her.