I sound/look serious a lot. Anyone else?

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BrokenEnvoke
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21 Nov 2012, 2:22 am

Someone told me I look cute and sometimes intimidating :oops:/:evil:



Ewags
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22 Nov 2012, 12:52 am

You described me perfectly.



Kindertotenlieder79
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22 Nov 2012, 1:08 am

An acquaintance of mine from HS used to call me "Mr. Serious". I've been asked why I "always look so depressed", or that I should smile more, or "What's wrong?" - when nothing is wrong at all. Good times. :(



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24 Nov 2012, 4:51 am

I am always self concious about looking serious now because when I was diagnosed my report said I had a limited range of facial expressions:s



PixieBoy
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24 Nov 2012, 5:59 am

My psychologist who diagnosed me said that I most often have a neutral, almost completely emotionless, serious facial expression but I liven up when I talk about something that interests me. I start gesturing, smiling, speaking with more inflection, things like that. Still, I've got "reverse dimples" because of my serious expression; a lot of people get dimples because they smile a lot, I got mine because I look sad/serious a lot. :( dimples.



modelmaker
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24 Nov 2012, 6:33 pm

People often think I'm too serious, & its true that I take too many things to heart, sometimes literally,

Problem is, I dont know how to react when i know someone is telling me a lie for their own ammusement to humiliate me, banter or whatever, I'm too damn "polite" to tell them from the start "I dont believe you", "your pulling my leg" etc,, or to reply in a banter-like fashion telling them to f**k off, etc, , as to me, using offensive language (even in banter) I prefered not to risk as for fearing someone would take offense & pick a fight with my reply, as this happened once or twice - they seem to either think I'm gullable &/or stupid at my lack of response, so they do it all the more, which affects my mood & facial expressions which I cannot hide & so they pick up on this.

I've only recently 5yrs learnt about the symptoms & the existance of "aspergers" , so knowing what I know now, it explains why I suffered with social interactions involving other people I had to work with,
The outcome which resulted in my inevitable dismisal for bad time keeping /attendance would've been VERY different & in my favour.

I'd really like to meet again face-to-face with some of those who tormented me between 1993-1997, the company I worked for has now gone out of buisness, but I'm on the lookout for various people via facebook who gave me such a hard time...


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yellowtamarin
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24 Nov 2012, 7:14 pm

modelmaker wrote:
Problem is, I dont know how to react when i know someone is telling me a lie for their own ammusement to humiliate me, banter or whatever, I'm too damn "polite" to tell them from the start "I dont believe you", "your pulling my leg" etc,, or to reply in a banter-like fashion telling them to f**k off, etc, , as to me, using offensive language (even in banter) I prefered not to risk as for fearing someone would take offense & pick a fight with my reply, as this happened once or twice - they seem to either think I'm gullable &/or stupid at my lack of response, so they do it all the more, which affects my mood & facial expressions which I cannot hide & so they pick up on this.

Yes, that describes me pretty well also. Often I will sort of "play along" but by just pretending I believe them and going on with the joke. But because I'm taken so seriously, people tend to think I actually believe them and am therefore stupid. I remember once at work I was on the phone with someone in New Zealand (I'm in Australia), and they made a simple joke about a road bridge connecting the two countries. I couldn't think of anything witty to say on the spot so I just said "Oh really? I can't believe I didn't know about that!". I thought I had a smile in my voice but obviously not, because then I hear him talking to his colleagues, thinking I can't hear him, telling them how gullible I was believing there was a real bridge. :oops:



modelmaker
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24 Nov 2012, 10:23 pm

Were you aware of aspergers / had you been diognosed at the time of this ?

And did this sort of "wind-up" happen on several occasions & over a long period of time of your working there, & did this have a mild or serious deterimental effect on you, causing you to make mistakes, & ultimately loose motivation & not want to face going into work ?.

In 1997 had 3 months off work as I had a meltdown at work when someone critized the quantity of my output, as I focussed more on the quality,
On my returning to work, the intimidation gradually started again, even sarcasm from the dep't forman saying for example "I have every confidence in you David" etc, , so people again picked up on my facial expressions, that was the biggest giveaway to my emotions.

One occurance that has bitterly stayed in my mind was a collective plot made up to make me feel excluded, which was that it was widely announced around our main 3 dept's that one of my co-workers was celebrating his wedding aniversary & everyone was talking about this, deliberately saying to each other in front of me over a period of weeks "are you going to Barry's wedding anniversary ?? ,

Knowing their collective aim was pretty obvious to lower my mood hoping I'd have another breakdown, , but I stayed defiant & knew I had to ignore this & kept a straight neutral face, as to be honest I dont particulary like alcohol social gatherings such as that...,
So Barry picked up on my "strait faced resistance", & he came up to me one day, "hi dave, you might've heard about my wedding aniv, sorry i cannot invite you on this occasion, but my daughter is getting engaged in 6 months & you could attend that ?, I smiled & shook my head & said no thanks barry, but I dont like party's.
I was dismissed a month later due to time keeping & attendance issues.

I would like to see especially him again face to face - now I know all about aspergers.
I will not say online what I'd do to him & others if ever I see any of them alone, they effectively forced me out of a job.
I had never heard of aspergers or other social disorders at the time of my dismisal & I was ashamed about the way I was & the prospect of what I'd endured happening in other employment opportunities.


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MovieCriticGamer
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26 Nov 2012, 8:04 pm

That's one of the same problems I've been having for a very long time. I'm always told I have a serious face when I have a "neutral" face and some people really disagree.


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27 Nov 2012, 7:20 pm

While I don't usually see many people comment on my seriousness, I know for SURE that people take me seriously when I'm just joking. (My tone of voice really alternates when I'm in a mood.) In fact, when I was joking with my mom about doing anything I can to defend my game from my now baby sister, a day of playing it...gone. All because she took me seriously.



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27 Nov 2012, 8:33 pm

Constantly. I can say something jokingly and people think I'm serious. It isn't until after I explain it that they go "Oh! Haha, that's great!"

Likewise, sometimes they'll say something jokingly and I don't pick up on it. I try to explain and they have to go "No man, I'm kidding," for me to fully comprehend.

Sometimes I get it, sometimes people get me, but I feel like there's a disconnect between me and other people more often than there is for the average person.



Willow-Tree
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28 Nov 2012, 6:42 am

I'm not sure if I'm so much serious, but people constantly ask me if I'm okay. As if I look sad all the time. And when I reply to them they then always ask me if I'm sure. I think I'm either coming across as you say, as serious, or just sad or something. It's annoying because where I would prefer not much social chit chat, I bring on more by acting the way I do.


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Geekonychus
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28 Nov 2012, 10:07 am

modelmaker wrote:
I had never heard of aspergers or other social disorders at the time of my dismisal & I was ashamed about the way I was & the prospect of what I'd endured happening in other employment opportunities.


Used to work retail for a number of years......Sounds very much like the crap I went through. Most people assumed I was just a jerk. I was very good at all the technical aspects of my job (to the point where I was trained and was training others in all 3 departments) but the way I carried myself hurt me in the customer service aspect and kept me from moving up the ranks into a management position.

I still have a ton of regrets about my time there. That being said, I did learn a ton of valuable social skills to the point that I could pass as an affable and approachable person to the strangers.

It's hard to keep that facade going indefinetely, though. Every once in a while a customer would complain about me being terse or not smiling. One night I was helping a customer on the phone and had what I now know to be called an "aspergers moment" and said something a little bit off (long story.) The customer overreacted and I ended up becoming the butt monkey and very quickly saw my hours get cut till I eventually left all together because I couldn't afford to pay the bills on 6 hours a week. If I knew then about my diagnosis I'm sure I could have handled the situation a lot better.

The ultimate justice came when I discovered what happened to most of my coworkers particularly the manager that I helped train and then got promoted over me. Most of them got canned or pushed out when new management took over and ended up starting unemployed or starting out bottomrung in another place. I have a better job than all of them now!



LizNY
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28 Nov 2012, 2:51 pm

Yes my whole life. I look serious, angry, intimidating...etc etc. But when I smile and try to be friendly and act like all the typicals then I get accused of being fake or kissing ass or something. Or they say I'm annoying. Always a joy. : p



HGWells
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28 Nov 2012, 9:34 pm

TheRealAdriana wrote:
Even when I'm not mad and just saying something that is really not serious, I just sound serious and have a serious face when I speak. The only time that this does not happen is when I'm saying something that I find really funny, I would say that with a smile. But anything else I just sound serious like if I have an attitude but I really don't and I think people get a bit bothered by that. I just have a hard time sounding enthusiastic. Even when I try, it just sounds so fake and unnatural and it almost sounds like I'm trying to mock some preppy white girl from school.


Definitely.
My neighborhood peer group called me "Spock" when I was growing up because I was emotionless and too logical.
My remarks tended to be short and my face devoid of expression. This - for some strange reason - led people to think I was being curt of angry or overly serious with them.

I would often tell them I had a sense of humor. It was just different :-)



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29 Nov 2012, 1:38 pm

My husband calls me Eeyore.


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