Meetup groups

Post Reply New Topic

if we are trying to make friends with neighbours, colleagues or
people living in same locality we will observe them for few days
and then try to acquaint with them
but incase of meetup groups its totally diving in the deep dark ravine.

so its quite risky

I managed to contact a person on meetup asking for a social interpreter. I was instead invited to a birthday get-together. This was after knowing the acquaintance for a few months, which I think I only met twice. I found the people that doesn't come from my area to be more interesting. So I would be the local person. They were expecting me to show them where the social places were... I wasn't very helpful Nonetheless it does continue to push me.

when i used to attend spiritual gatherings i used to meet sad, lonely, desperate little weird people
most of them were living alone, they were suffering from psychosomatic illness and many of them had delusions or they believed a human to be their saviour and GOD
anyways i havent personally attended meetups yet but i was wondering why would anyone search for friends via meetups???definitely if they are some antisocial element whom society as cut off, or some pervert who isnt getting anybody to lure into his den they might be attending the meetups
If a person can easily make friends via cousins, office and neighbourhood they wont go to attend any meetups
Well in my case im not able to make friends via office, neighbourhod, childhood friends none, im weird and lonely
But i dont want to get into any trouble i remember when i was part of spiritual group they managed to extort lot of money from me and kicked me off ultimately plus they had strange belief's which i have not come across in other people
i dont want to repeat the scenario again.

Most of the members of the aspie meetup groups in my area are really old...

there is lot of generation gap then
and difference in thinking

I could only manage to hold a conversation with the engineering guy.

so finally after gathering lot of guts i managed to attend the meetup groups program to the museum
i reached the museum and called up the organiser but her phone was not reachable
i panicked and called up my hubby whose office happens to be nearby and he could take
a half day as it was saturday
so i finally managed to call up the organiser and she said she will be coming to the museum within 10mins
i saw their group all were giggling, laughing and talking loudly
i just sat there and acted as if i dont know them since anyway they hadnt meet me before
i was waiting for my hubby
when the organiser again called me she saw me talking on the phone
i had to approach her
then few of them asked me my name
i was awkward and standing quietly there........some people commented that i looked
fragile and scared......( i was totally out of place)
i couldnt strike a conversation.........like a fish out of water
finally my hubby arrived.........we went to the museum alongwith others and watched the mummy etc
there was a movie being screened about the different artefacts but we had to go shopping and couldnt wait in the line
so we skipped that and said goodbyes

i noticed that as soon as we left they clicked photos and uploaded them on facebook
we were not in the photos
totally left out

they were nice people, quite open and modern
i couldnt click with any of them
they were all in their 20's and unmarried
i was older and married

i dont think i will attend anymore meetup's

good for you for trying at least. I too am older than the people in my group, well most of them. You can always watch who joins the next meeting. As for photos, they only started taking photos of me on the 5th event more or less. Besides the common interest of joining, the point of trying to engage with social interaction is meeting where everyone then reflects on what they experienced, but you get to hear how they talk about things in general. I guess this is where the social thing comes into play. If I had to host this type of event, I would fail horribly. There is one woman that avoids me like the plague, but if I was worried only about what others thought all the time then I would not enjoy myself. I cannot please everyone. So for now I try to stay out of her way, because the others are opening up to me. I have yet to learn how to deal with compliments properly. Oh and I have contacted one person after meeting her at least 3 times asking if she would like to be a social interpreter for me. I asked her particularly because the guy that was there, went away to another city and I did not know for how long. She was the one that came to fetch me, and she always checks up on me and try to get me to join the conversations. I'm not asking her to look after me full time, but what she does, helps.

So I would suggest, not to drop the entire thing, but be on the look out for another event. If you know you will never feel comfortable with this particular group then... keep watching there might be more people joining later that could connect with you better.

it was tough the first time joining the group? it was like I was walking into house that was on fire. I was almost at the point of freaking out leaving, but then I kept waiting, and reminding myself not to leave. Another way I was reminded of this anxiety was when I went for the first day to a new school.

If you're in an urban area, there are probably a great many meetup groups. I'm near a major East coast city and there are at least a thousand groups around here. So you never know, it might help to check more out. Your Meetup page lets you post your interests and they try to point you to groups that are based on those interests.

A lot depends on the event coordinator too. I was lucky that there was a good one on the recurring meetup I was going to. He talked to everyone and introduced himself and made sure nobody was ignored.

I've been to a few others where this is not the case. In one, the host was having so much fun himself he didn't even introduce himself to me, much less introduce me to others. And at another one the woman running it was busy talking with regulars and hardly talked to me. Of course, if I was outgoing and extroverted, I probably would have gone around the table introducing myself and being the life of the party

Another thing too, I've run into some Aspies. I think a lot of us use meetup to try to socialize. So if a person's an Aspie, they're probably going to be socially awkward too. You have to plan for that and not take it personally.

But at least if you go, you try and you might find something you enjoy.

If anyone is in the sf bay area id be glad to meet up with ya!

I'm going to a meetup next week, first time. It seems cool, single parents. I've been following the group and from what I can tell, seems to be a cool crowd. I'm not too worried about the first encounter, hi hello, how are you. I've basically fine tuned my intro speech, in terms of what details of my life I'll share. But most likely, I'll do alright with the BS convo, but if someone gets intellectual, I'll need to chill out and not become too much of a nerd. A couple beers always helps too.