Assumptions about male behavior

Post Reply New Topic

While there are a lot of naive women around who don't seem to realize the nature of, or reason for, much of the male attention they receive, it is insulting to assume that men are incapable of desiring simple friendship from women.

Since I was young, I've always had more female friends than male. For various reasons, I'm just more comfortable with women. I won't pretend I've never been in the position of being attracted to a girl who only wanted friendship from me but that's been the exception, not the rule.

There have been times when I've had to pretty much cut off contact with a friend because my feelings for her were strong enough that seeing her with someone else was painful. But, again, that's the exception. More often, I've been able to accept that that she's just a friend. One who is maybe nicer to look at than most, or has other qualities that I find desireable, but still just a friend.

If it were always the case that men only want sex or relationships from women, and that all friendships with them were pretexts for that, then why have I continued those friendships even when I'm in a relationship? Why have I been friends with women I was not attracted to at all? Why have I been friends with women who are not attracted to men?

There is, I think, a greater possibility for complications and misunderstandings in friendships between members of opposite genders. But to characterize all such friendships as fake, as being built on false pretenses, is insulting to everyone involved.

Thank you.
I'm just worried because such statements are also heard by women. I hope they don't believe that.

Perhaps it depends on the man's overall desire to have sex whether friendships with women are possible for him. Mine is still positive (that's why I wrote "I'm not opposed to it") but already close to zero.

I don't think my lady friends thought this. I do have lots of lady friends that have boy friends already, and I am also friends with their boyfriends. Do I have an easier time than you guys/girls? I just walk up to people and ask them if I can hang out, and they let me, why am I such a popular awkward guy? Like I flunked out of college, but all the juniors and senior on campus would still remember me, I'm not Joking. Sometimes I feel like there is a secret group always behind me with neon signs or something (metaphorically)

Oh nooo, they were hitting on me too! What do I do? I need to hang out with people my age more often.