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"you need to go out more!"

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DefinitelyKmart
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21 Jun 2013, 11:22 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
DefinitelyKmart wrote:
in what way did you read he was getting out often? speaks to neighbours? out twice a month with friends? church sometimes(read rarely) thats not a life at all.
Why should i go out? because it gets easier every single time.. there is a whole world out there and it is unhealthy spending all day inside gathering a monitor tan, hes not saying go forth and multiply.. just get out vary your routine.. it will keep depression away... Its pretty easy to try and lock yourself in a bubble, then the worst part is you reinforce it by saying "oh well once a week thats lots"
just go out for an hour do something small and return home..
Answer me this, if op is going out 3 times a month.. hates human contact.. when his/her guardians die, how will op be able to cope in the supermarket alone?

And fyi when i first got told to get out more i hated it too.. but i wish i had listened sooner.


I'm not familiar with the OP' s living circumstances, so he'll have to answer that for himself.

I run into this problem...go where to do what? I work part time, and have a family that needs my attention. Classes aren't an option, and I don't really have friends in the area. I'm not religious, and there just aren't a lot of options for structured activities in the area I live. So, monitor tan it is for now.. :shrug:

if you have a family, its not such a big deal if you are working and can survive independently, from ops post i wasn't understanding that he/she could..
however if there is something that takes your interest do it..
i was just talking in reference to people convincing themselves to stay indoors.. when they are missing out on thigs they may enjoy.. out of fear.

I was not saying do things for doing things sake, obviously that would be daft, and your working a job - thats what op's therapist is trying to get them to do



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21 Jun 2013, 11:30 pm

DefinitelyKmart wrote:
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
According to the OP, he is getting out pretty often. But on a more personal note, how is getting out simply to "be social" providing any benefit when it's exhausting, leads to public meltdowns, and there's no enjoyment to be had from anyone? How is putting myself in a miserable position, and causing discomfort to others a favor by any stretch of the definition?
in what way did you read he was getting out often? speaks to neighbours? out twice a month with friends? church sometimes(read rarely) thats not a life at all.
Why should i go out? because it gets easier every single time.. there is a whole world out there and it is unhealthy spending all day inside gathering a monitor tan, hes not saying go forth and multiply.. just get out vary your routine.. it will keep depression away... Its pretty easy to try and lock yourself in a bubble, then the worst part is you reinforce it by saying "oh well once a week thats lots"
just go out for an hour do something small and return home..
Answer me this, if op is going out 3 times a month.. hates human contact.. when his/her guardians die, how will op be able to cope in the supermarket alone?

And fyi when i first got told to get out more i hated it too.. but i wish i had listened sooner.


Since when was going to the supermarket a social activity?


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Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
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DefinitelyKmart
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21 Jun 2013, 11:36 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
DefinitelyKmart wrote:
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
According to the OP, he is getting out pretty often. But on a more personal note, how is getting out simply to "be social" providing any benefit when it's exhausting, leads to public meltdowns, and there's no enjoyment to be had from anyone? How is putting myself in a miserable position, and causing discomfort to others a favor by any stretch of the definition?
in what way did you read he was getting out often? speaks to neighbours? out twice a month with friends? church sometimes(read rarely) thats not a life at all.
Why should i go out? because it gets easier every single time.. there is a whole world out there and it is unhealthy spending all day inside gathering a monitor tan, hes not saying go forth and multiply.. just get out vary your routine.. it will keep depression away... Its pretty easy to try and lock yourself in a bubble, then the worst part is you reinforce it by saying "oh well once a week thats lots"
just go out for an hour do something small and return home..
Answer me this, if op is going out 3 times a month.. hates human contact.. when his/her guardians die, how will op be able to cope in the supermarket alone?

And fyi when i first got told to get out more i hated it too.. but i wish i had listened sooner.


Since when was going to the supermarket a social activity?

Erm you have to do quite alot of navigating through other people, the checkout it is a pretty crowded place man, im not saying its a social activity but social anxiety might stop people



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21 Jun 2013, 11:39 pm

DefinitelyKmart wrote:
Who_Am_I wrote:
DefinitelyKmart wrote:
MjrMajorMajor wrote:
According to the OP, he is getting out pretty often. But on a more personal note, how is getting out simply to "be social" providing any benefit when it's exhausting, leads to public meltdowns, and there's no enjoyment to be had from anyone? How is putting myself in a miserable position, and causing discomfort to others a favor by any stretch of the definition?
in what way did you read he was getting out often? speaks to neighbours? out twice a month with friends? church sometimes(read rarely) thats not a life at all.
Why should i go out? because it gets easier every single time.. there is a whole world out there and it is unhealthy spending all day inside gathering a monitor tan, hes not saying go forth and multiply.. just get out vary your routine.. it will keep depression away... Its pretty easy to try and lock yourself in a bubble, then the worst part is you reinforce it by saying "oh well once a week thats lots"
just go out for an hour do something small and return home..
Answer me this, if op is going out 3 times a month.. hates human contact.. when his/her guardians die, how will op be able to cope in the supermarket alone?

And fyi when i first got told to get out more i hated it too.. but i wish i had listened sooner.


Since when was going to the supermarket a social activity?

Erm you have to do quite alot of navigating through other people, the checkout it is a pretty crowded place man, im not saying its a social activity but social anxiety might stop people


Self checkout. And you don't need to interact with people to navigate around them.
Social anxiety might make people afraid that the people are watching and judging them, but that's about it.


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Liam93
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22 Jun 2013, 4:52 am

While actually going out and interacting with people certainly helps in some ways with Aspergers it can often have the opposite effect depending on the situation and conversations.

For example if I decided to go to a museum or something and talk to people there about things that interested me I'd really enjoy myself and have fun, however if by going out I would have to go into town to a bar playing loud music that would make me feel awful.

And with what DefinitelyKmart said, socialising is not a sliding scale that gets easier each time, it's completely dependent on a lot of factors, such as the environment, who you're with etc. I often go to the pub on a Friday with friends, sometimes I really enjoy it but other times the topics of conversations can get very loud and they can talk about things I know nothing about or that upset me, in those situations it's worse going out than it would be staying in.



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22 Jun 2013, 9:08 am

well i'm a girl, actually :o
i do still live with my parents, yes.
i have been laughing at the supermarket questions because actually, even if i did have to shop for myself, i really have no reason to, seeing as i've been dealing with anorexia nervosa for five years.
i think that yes, i could stand to get out more, but it's just not something i can handle all that often. i get nervous because i've been called names in public because of my mannerisms. and ok yes i understand that's super common in this community. i really do. but it still sucks!
plus nothing but dance is all that interesting to me, haha xx