How social are you?

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I voted "I don't have friends and feel fine this way."
I have a great friend in my cat though, he is a great companion.

I enjoy interacting with different people but I also need to be alone at times. I'm an introverted people person.

Oh I don't know really. I have few close friends but I barely see them, do they count as well? I don't like chit chat as well, but always up for random chats with acquaintances. I became much and much better the last years during those chats. It does feel tiresome after some longer chats and do need some alone time when it took to long for me.
Most people say I am very friendly. I like to be the one who is making the odd funny/random comments coming from the background. Some love it, some hate it, I like both reactions
When people want to come closer I start to ignore them or scare them away. I do not bond unless I really really want to, or they want to be friends without being often together with me. That's fine with me as well.

I don't have a girlfriend. I think I am best in an 'open relationship'. Although I need much alone time, I am loyal to my girlfriend and friends. Perhaps even protective.

I have 1/2 friend(s). I enjoy social chat within limits but feel no need to befriend people and love to be by myself.
I don't have friends and feel fine this way.

I think it's a combination of these two. Eventually I love my friends so I picked the first one.

I like meeting new people as long as they don't seems to be judgmental or vapid. I am very picky with who I surround myself with and am not someone who just meets and mingles with people out of the blue. Meeting and chatting with others that I meet through friends (i.e. at a party or get-together) or through groups is fun for me because at least we will have something to talk about and interests in common.

I abhor small talk, however, it does have a purpose so I go through the motions and do it to allow people to feel comfortable around me. Although I've pushed myself and practiced, I don't think it's the only way to connect. Meeting people through special interests could be an alternate way to connect, because then, the focus is on the subject at hand - something you are good at talking about. However, if one chooses not to do it due to sensory or social processing issues, they should develop good advocacy skills to be able to explain why they are choosing not to do it. The truth is, not doing chit-chat may peg you as unfriendly and arrogant unless an explanation is given.

I have a habit of being quite selfless in my general interactions and don't talk about myself unless I asked to or if I am with a super-close friend. I have a small collection of friends who I mostly see one on one and for different purposes and moods. The two things that define my friendships seem to be intelligence and/or humour...either we dive into really interesting topics that we both like, or they are someone I can be playful with and we'll joke around together...or both.

Last edited by anneurysm on 03 Jul 2013, 12:58 am, edited 1 time in total.

I ticked one of them, but really none of them is exactly right for me.
I'm married and my best friend is my wife - no seriously she is!
So I'm married to my best friend, wake up with her and go to bed with her every night.
I can go weeks with little or no interaction with others, as she is all I need much of the time.

Most of her friends are my friends, and I don't have much contact with others from before we met; not for any other reason than the fact I didn't feel my previous friendships were going anywhere.

I tend to rationalise my friendships; my friends can't have too conflicting a world view, attitude, or interest to me, otherwise I feel I can't relate to them.
I also CAN'T stand people who are late, who don't return calls or emails, or who take me for granted.
Any of those are grounds for me ending the friendship which will usually mean I stop contacting them or replying to them - I'm not good with confrontation, and if confronted, I tend to blurt out something hurtful that ends the friendship in a less nice way than I'd prefer.
I HATE Facebook, and I have de-activated my account so many times I should get frequent de-activation points!
I keep going back for a look, but don't see the point in diarising my activities for people I used to know to comment on, if I wanted to stay in touch with them I probably wouldn't have needed to sign up to Facebook to interact with them in the first place!

Throughout both my childhood and adult life I have tended to have a few close friends.
I tend to have one best friend I stick closely with, or otherwise prefer one on one interactions with others.
If in a social setting where there is more than two of us, I can never find the right place to join or add to the conversation without it feeling like I'm barging in, so either I don't or a feel I'm intruding.
Like most Aspies, I'd rather go to the library than a party - that's actually a line I used today to describe my attitude to being social, and it's a good ice breaker when dealing with someone you suspect may be another Aspie or loner - it helps both of you feel less alien!

My friends have to meet somewhat lofty standards, that have gotten a bit harder to meet over the years; though if they are my friend they will enjoy loyalty that others may only envy.

All that said, I have no desire to have a large circle of friends, and I am happy to have some marginal acquaintances from activities I participate in, or who I come across via my existing friends.
I don't need to conform to NT standards of being social, and I'm old enough to be at the point of learning to accept myself, and accept that being different may be odd to some, but it's the real me, and if I can't feel comfortable in my own skin I just can't feel right.

Better to be odd and be yourself, than to conform to someone else's version of normal and feel odd!

It was hard for me to answer the poll - I chose that I have a certain group of friends but otherwise enjoy chitchat - and I also think there's more to it. My experience has been that I enjoy being social with my friends and with new people, but only for limited amounts of time. The closer I am to a friend, the longer I can "stand" them. Also, the more people, the shorter time I will enjoy socializing. However, I still seek out social events because I enjoy meeting people who may be like me in some way/share my interests.

The 1/2 friends and the rest can just leave me alone option fits me well. I'm actually not sure if I have one or two friends,I haven't quite figured out where I stand with one of them.

I have one good friend, and another who I'm beginning to be friends with; both are females. Most of the time, I don't enjoy chit-chat with others, but if it is with people I know and have similar interests, then it is highly rewarding. At home, I am like this: Half of the time, leave me alone. The other half of the time, I do get lonely, and want to do something with another...or maybe even talk. Although it is hard to believe, (and most wouldn't here, anyways probably), most that know me seem to say that I'm a sweet, kind person, but they haven't seen me angry...lol

I can actually really relate to this, except that I don't like shifting the balance to the other person while leaving myself out, because the relationship doesn't feel equal that way. I also hate when others do this to me, because I intensely dislike feeling special and unique. What I tend to do when talking to others is dissociating from my own personal framework and just talking about pure facts and/or experiences of other people, not my own. I do this because I don't think my own experiences are very useful to others and I don't like to be self-interested (I'm around other people to spend time with them, not to indulge in myself for the entire time!). I try to bring up stuff about myself with friends/acquaintances, though, usually with the purpose of stirring up conversation and getting them to talk about themselves for some insightful discussion. However, lately, I find myself shifting more and more into objective, formal mode with other people. This is because I've gotten used to communicating this way in the professional setting. I don't like doing this because it makes me feel like I'm imposing a power imbalance when there shouldn't be any. In other words, friends are for personal connection, so I want to connect with them on an intimate, equal level, because that evenness is why friendships are enjoyable as opposed to any power-ridden relationship (e.g. business contacts, client-worker relationship). However, I also look for similar qualities as you in my friends, actually.

I don't see connecting over similar interests as chit-chat, really. Perhaps it's all about definitions. Chit-chat to me is like shallow, surface, general kind of talk. Whenever there is interesting info to be exchanged, it's not chit-chat anymore, to me at least...

I interact with a lot of kids at school, but only 1.5% I treat like a friend. Most of my friends are programmers, gamers, or procrastinators. Ironically, my girlfriend was really quiet but a mainstream child in training. I was really sad when we broke up.

If you aren't my friend, I determine your motive for interacting with me:
flirting - Go and jump in a ditch
information / gossip - give fake, but realistic information and see if they tell anyone. Don't pay much attention to them after that.
kids I sit next to in class - a person to talk to when you get bored of doodling

No friends at all, and don't care

My conversations are about homework, school..., but some people are "friendly" and talks and ask me "weird" questions.

We're pretty evenly distributed among the various options, a wide range here on WP.