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People misunderstand what I say

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zer0netgain
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16 Jul 2013, 6:36 am

I've concluded the issue is that people like us speak plain and direct. The no-nonsense style comes across as harsh and abrasive in a world where it's about about how you make people feel. NTs put emotion into everything. It's more about making them feel good with your words than actually communicating an idea.



neilson_wheels
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16 Jul 2013, 1:15 pm

^ So true, I think many of us fail to massage others egos and even forget to do it for ourselves too.



Anomiel
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16 Jul 2013, 7:26 pm

But we don't routinely pretend to misunderstand people, maybe to make a point about social status (as alluded to by AgentPalpatine) so it evens out?



ASDsmom
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16 Jul 2013, 7:29 pm

I think this is a pretty common problem even amongst NT's. Sorry you're feeling frustrated with it.



Who_Am_I
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16 Jul 2013, 7:48 pm

Who_Am_I wrote:
OP, was there any reason why you just couldn't explain right away what you actually said?


... still wondering....


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dianthus
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19 Jul 2013, 8:04 pm

zer0netgain wrote:
I've concluded the issue is that people like us speak plain and direct. The no-nonsense style comes across as harsh and abrasive in a world where it's about about how you make people feel. NTs put emotion into everything. It's more about making them feel good with your words than actually communicating an idea.


Exactly.

My natural way of communicating is to say things very directly. And it's gotten me in trouble since I was little. I have learned to be more tactful but it is so tiresome. It's like having to translate what I think into a totally different language before I say it. And by the time I figure it out, I may have missed the opportunity to say it anyway.

On the other hand, when someone talks to me like they want to make me feel good, it really annoys me. It comes across as ingratiating. And I wish they would just get to the point and tell me what I need to know.