Anybody else feel the double standard?

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Who says? Certainly not me! I'm 46 years old, am very comfortable and happy with who I am and proud of it. I'm not arrogant but I am pleased to be me. I have an IQ of 136 - I'm smart and I know it but stick me in a social situation and I'll crash and burn every time. This doesn't bother me. I have good and bad aspects to my being and acknowledging your pluses is not boasting. It's being honest. Just don't continually shove it down other people's throats or it will come across as big headed and boasting but if that doesn't bother you, then go for it.

In the end, there's nothing wrong with honestly acknowledging your strengths and being proud of yourself. Be proud of yourself and don't care what others think of you. Then you won't feel the need to boast.

yeah, okay, but if you are wise and intelligent and all that, why not let the world see it? they have a right to know and it seems such a waste if someone can be cured through some gene pool that has someone curing the defects in autism. it would have helped me at school, (I was very clumsy at school) rounder's I mean. I would like to bowl but sometimes batting would be awful. I once caught a ball as I eyed it like a hawk at my senior high, but although sports day at my primary school was good, the prep wasn't so great, and my co-ordination wasn't quick enough. it used to bother me a lot. now, though if someone wants to work out with me they only have to ask and depending on what it is, I'd be there, that's why I can't get why this can't be arranged via some government proposal or whoever is proposing it.

I feel the dichotomy all the time. Just recently I had so much trouble accepting a compliment from my counselor. We talked at length about how to feel comfortable saying, "Thank you" to your first point. I avoid compliments and change the subject to feel like I belong. I don't want to be different, I want to feel like I'm normal.

To your second point. Yes, our society rushes to fix our social inadequacies. Why I feel I need to be fixed for the later while never acknowledging the first, I don't know, but your point is a good one, and I agree.

That's what I'm trying to say. If you try to express how intelligent you are, then people say it's wrong to boast. I don't like that, since the one thing I have going for me (intellect) seem's to be only skill which people frown on you for acknowledging.

He also said: I never try anything new unless I had it before.

Hmmm. Am I living my life by the philosophy of Homer

Just a hint...

When people boast of their special skills, intelligence, etc. - doesn't matter what it is - I often think that they're insecure and overcompensating. You don't have to hide being smart, but you don't need to TELL people about it either. They'll figure it out. If you're super-smart, they know it. It doesn't take them long to figure it out.

Also try practicing a statute-of-limitations on achievements. Something cool happened this week. It's ok to tell people. It happened last month.... not-so-much (unless they're a good friend or relative you haven't seen for a while).

Also what you perceive as double-standards are often young people experimenting with the social hierarchy - seeing what they can get away with. It isn't nice or fair. Period.

I think the solution is to not play these double standard games. Find other social gatherings that are more appreciative of your qualities (like IQ). One can just be intelligent or know much without advertising it. If people then mind that you happen to know something or can manage something they can't and that person disprove of you because of that.. move on!

As for these double standards, if people play them with you.. move on really fast. Either they are conspiring bastards or other lowlife.

I feel the double standard too. I guess we just have to accept it-- I think it's an Uncanny Valley thing.

We are close enough to "normal" that there is going to be no understanding, no tolerance, no nothing.

It's not malice. I don't even think it's discrimination. I know it's not conscious, and I really don't think there's anything they can do about it.

Even my husband does it. What really bothers me is, I can't get him to see it or even consider that it might exist.

The fact of being extremely high-functioning is that you must follow all the rules; not only must you follow them all, you must follow them BETTER. The exceptions to the rule that allow NTs to have a bad day, toot their own horns, behave boorishly and still be accepted, DO NOT APPLY TO US.

As far as taking pride in your work goes-- People who care for me jump my case for this all the time, but you KEEP IT ON THE INSIDE. Tell yourself that you have done a good job when you do a good job; other than that, save it for your resume. Compliments?? Don't acknowledge 'em-- much. You can say, "Thank you." You can sort of tactfully put them off-- "I really didn't expect it to work." "I just got lucky." You can turn them back-- "You did a great job on ___________________." "I couldn't have done it without Terry." "Jane was the one who really made it come together." A half-smile and a shrug works, too.