People hate me

Post Reply New Topic

Some say that India has a good supply of spiritually advanced people. Perhaps you can find an Ashram where you are welcome to meditate frequently.
After being bullied a lot, we tend to respond just the way bullies want us to. Breaking out of that pattern is hard to learn, and also stirs up a storm of resistance when others must re-think their positions. It is far easier to practice some new moves in a new setting. Often, therapy involves acting out skits, with others co-operating until the awkwardness fades and new, automatic responses develop. You might watch videos, and imagine yourself in the better roles, moving and mouthing the words.
I had rather good luck by occasionally imitating a tough, popular actor in a jocular way. If you can manage it, humour helps a lot.
Every little adventure can help expand your limits. I knew a pretty young woman who often had to walk through a very dangerous neighborhood late at night. On leaving work, she would just go up to the first man whose gaze lingered, and ask him to walk her home. Every one turned into a perfect gentleman, or as close as he could manage, proud to be chosen.

first, i wish i had some answers for you, but you definitely aren't alone. i'm working on the same thing.

I grew up with abuse and rejection by everyone in my family, and then everyone at school, and now any time i try to join any social system - work, whatever - i just end up assuming that role of the outsider, the person it's okay to pick on. and it make me so mad.

i do believe i am somehow unconsciously creating this reality for myself and that something deep within me needs to change. for instance, i NEED to create a much stronger sense of my own self-worth.

HOW to do this deep work - i don't know yet. i've tried a lot of things over a lot of years. sometimes it feels like it's getting worse, but i think what's actually happening is, i'm becoming more *aware.*

.