I got a free friend, and no idea what to do with her.

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thewhitrbbit
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11 Feb 2014, 12:04 am

We have a program like this where I work, it's called Social Group. (Very functionally named.)

A few things jumped out from your story.

It sounds like she was expecting you to do all the leg work when it sounds like the spirit of the program is to make a friend that can help you get out. I would suggest someone who is more of a take charge person. This is a concern you should bring up with the program director.

Perhaps a male friend would be easier to work with. Assuming of your you are straight, there would be no issues like sexual tension so you could focus on the friendship.



KWifler
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11 Feb 2014, 12:31 am

Yeah, that's what I finally did.

Actually, at the beginning of the situation I asked about getting a male "friend" but they were all out. I guess mostly women tend to sign up for this sort of thing.

Social Group seems like a group environment to me. I am very cautious of group social situations because it is much easier for me to upset people. Instead of just one or two voices demanding my attention, in a group there are many voices all sending seemingly random signals back and forth.

I think it would be interesting to have a "friendship" club at a large corporation, then at least it would seem more appropriate to talk about work, which is really all I want to talk about most of the time anyways. Not that I have a job or anything...


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Lovely_Leah
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13 Feb 2014, 1:27 am

I think you are an intelligent person. Having said that, I suggest you try to think positively and don't make any judgements. Your idea to join a club to meet people and make new friends was excellent. Feel good about taking that risk. Next, look at all the characteristics you would like in a friend. Someone close to your age, same sex, with some similar interests who may like to take walks and maybe watch movies... When you have a friend or become someone's friend, it is a good thing to be honest and vice versa. This doesn't mean non-stop talking about yourself all night long. It means each time you hang out, you let them know you a little more. Friendships take time... and it is worth it. Think of having a friend as a gift to yourself.



Drehmaschine
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13 Feb 2014, 7:47 pm

Have you any information about her interests? Are they similar to yours? Even one interest can be similar enough to have a friendship based around. I have met a small number of people through my interest. We meet every week and exchange project information, codes (for those with CNC machines, drawings with dimensions for those with manual machines only), p*ss and moan about things like quality or how difficult it is to find replacement parts for old Wolf, Jahns lathes and work with lathes (and mills). Both myself and another person in this group are nonverbal Autistic, so there is that also.



Ai_Ling
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18 Feb 2014, 2:29 am

yeah sometimes these set up friendships dont always work, sometimes they do. Its really not a guarentee just to set up a friendship especially when working with us aspies. Well I dont know about other aspie, I dont just get along with anyone and I'm very adamant about the person being friends cause they wanna not all out of charity. I think what other people suggested is good.

I've had some set up stuff, like a mentor at my school and meh yeah its not working so well. We talk, but shes always busy everytime I try to meet up. Idk I think I gave her too much info the first time we met but she kinda asked for it so i dont know. Its probably more cause I was being a stubborn ass. Altho now she knows indirectly that I am aspie, lol.



Marky9
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18 Feb 2014, 8:12 am

My take is that it could be viewed as a good learning experience, which I think it sounds like it part of the point of the club.

You now know more about what works and does not work for you. Apart from anything specific to your two personalities, I might take from it that adolescent girls might not be the best choice for me. If nothing else the age difference might be hard to overcome.

I envy you that experience; it has emboldened me to consider hooking up with a similar type program in my town.


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thewhitrbbit
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18 Feb 2014, 10:20 am

Quote:
Actually, at the beginning of the situation I asked about getting a male "friend" but they were all out. I guess mostly women tend to sign up for this sort of thing.


Those positions attract people who are in the helping professions field, and there are a disproportionate number of women in those fields.

Quote:
Social Group seems like a group environment to me. I am very cautious of group social situations because it is much easier for me to upset people. Instead of just one or two voices demanding my attention, in a group there are many voices all sending seemingly random signals back and forth.


It's a mix between facilitated conversions and open discussion. Participants are advised not to take anything offensive and to speak up if someone is because it's a learning tool.

Quote:
I think it would be interesting to have a "friendship" club at a large corporation, then at least it would seem more appropriate to talk about work, which is really all I want to talk about most of the time anyways. Not that I have a job or anything...


What kind of work do you like talking about? Find a group that shares that interest.