A few months ago, I had to go to my grandmother's funeral, which was the 1st funeral I have ever been too. I did try going to my grandfather's wake when I was like 12 but after seeing him, I had to leave right away.
Having said that, no one wants to go to a funeral, but I think it's great that they exist. Everyone has to grief at some point, and you can get it all or most of it out of the way in one day. It was interesting because I knew she was going to pass at some point and I accepted it. But it happened very quick and after going a week earlier while she was still fine, I went a couple days before she passed, after she took a turn for the worse, and I said goodbye to her and she didn't know it was me (she never opened her eyes) and that made me feel horrible because I didn't get to actually say goodbye.
For some that don't get that goodbye, that's what the wake/funeral can do. My grandmother was deeply cared for and had a lot of friends and family that came. Only our immediate family and some friends went to see her but it happened so quick that not everyone could. Everyone got to say goodbye, console us, and I was touched at how many people cared.
I stayed pretty good for the most part, but it really hit me when we put her into the back of the hearse. Everything I was trying to hold in that day came out and I hugged my uncle, who started crying for his mother as well.
That was good though because we all needed to grieve and like said in other posts, it's more for the living to grieve their lost one. Then their life is celebrated and everyone can begin the next step of coping.
I can say with confidence if I didn't go to her funeral, I would of started crying every time we went to her house to take stuff out, but because I got to see her and say my final goodbye in the way I wanted to, unlike at the nursing home, I am perfectly fine when I went over to help pack things up.
So if your close to someone try to go to the funeral...I know it's hard for some but if you don't you have have the lingering feeling of never being able to say goodbye, if you hadn't already had a good farewell.
30 Jun 2014, 3:12 pm
