OK to go on a cruise alone, but not other vacations. Why?

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That is why you stay in front of the cill marker. There are no shortage of signs.

I don't think it is photoshopped, just an effect of the camera.

According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_locks_on_the_Kennet_and_Avon_Canal, that's a set of locks at Caen Hill on the Kennet and Avon Canal.

A view from the top of the locks:

it take 5–6 hours to traverse 2 miles 29 locks. Not my idea of a barge holiday.

Yeah, but Falkirk might notice if someone stole their wheel:

You couldn't be more wrong in the bolded part. I did try a resort hotel alone. Well, kind of. I went with a friend, but he ignored me or avoided me for most of the stay. He was much more socially skilled than me, so according to him, I stopped him from meeting women. (I kicked him out of my life after returning home.) Anyway...

I had nothing but problems at that hotel whenever I spent time alone. Most consisted of dirty looks from other guests. Although one time, a group of guys followed me and were going to beat me up, until a sympathetic security guard (who had a submachine gun on him, no less) stepped in and protected me. For the next two days (until those guys checked out), I felt like an unarmed civilian in a war zone, although that guard was nice enough to check on me periodically. My friend did nothing to help. I had one "safe" day left after that, although I was too terrified to have fun. So don't go around telling me I'm "blaming other activities"! There is real danger for an aspie guy doing them alone.

Somehow, for reasons that are still a mystery to me, none of this behavior happens on cruises. Especially considering that one group I became friendly with on my cruise kind of reminded me those "hotel thugs". And not only did they not beat me up, they allowed me to dance with one of their girlfriends (it was innocent waltz (that I knew and they probably didn't), but still). Feel free to keep contributing, my reaction be damned.

Aspie1 I do get what you are getting out.

If you are a fish out of water in any place you may stand out. Just pointing out that people who are social, and confident can pull it off.

I'm sure there are people who are a fish out of water on cruises, and will get odd looks too.

You were right cut ties with that 'friend'. He sounds like a dick. Your confidence would have dropped, this is why you were especially vulnerable.

I'm probably at the stage where, I wouldn't usually go alone on holiday, but I would do some thing on my on. For one it is not fair to drag people on interests they don't do like.

Also tbh honest sometimes I want to get away from the group. Some time it can be too full on, and I find that tiring.

If cruises work for you then, continue with cruises.

Barge holiday and cruises are totally different. Barge holiday, you get some people together hire a barge. You also need to do some training beforehand, or hire a skipper.

You can choose your route, but chances all first time you will need to turn back before you have completed your plan. Still it is an adventure, and you more up, visit the pubs an restaurant along the ways.

It is actually illegal to travel after nightfall on the canal, and even if you flout the rules it is not the best idea. One time, we didn't make it back, we stayed an extra night. Which was cool, even if I had to make up for the missed work.

Like I said, if you are maybe 3 or 4 you could could get away with a narrow boat, but broad boat is much nicer especial professional kitted out.

You don't go on a barge holiday to meet women, unless you are used to meeting women in pubs.

What is cool is learning all the techniques that people who live on the canals use, like turning round in a narrow section by jackknifing with forward thrust against a bank, with full rudder (this is for natural river/dredged sections).

I think of them both as cruises. One of which I would like to try at least once and one of which I have absolutely no interest in.

That's great but I'm sure Aspie1 is wondering why we are talking about barges and canals so much.

I read an article in an online Newspaper that claimed 80% of people who went on cruise ships got to have sex with somebody they met, even when they where in their sixties.
They do have a reputation of being the place older single people go to in order to find romance, this will explain why as a single person you were so accepted.

Would you recommend cruise holidays then?

Where in the world do you go on vacation that the security guards carry automatic weapons?

My confidence at the time was low to begin with, and he sure took advantage of that. He even cheated me out of what could be a single redeeming thing on that vacation (other than alcohol, that is, since I was 19). I wanted to go swim with dolphins, and he agreed at first, then turned around and told me that the dolphin park was closed because it was their mating season. I didn't realize he lied to me until after I got home. Of course, back then, it didn't occur to me just go to the dolphin park alone! I didn't get another opportunity to swim with dolphins until 8 years later.

For many people on WP, I would say "no". Many people here report severe sensory issues that cruise ships can trigger. They're often crowded, with long lines, and get noisy at times, and the noise source isn't always human. There's engine roaring, water splashing against the hull, police boat sirens in ports, etc. But if you can tolerate, or even enjoy, all that, then you're going to have a blast on a cruise. All cruise lines have a Special Needs Department that you can talk to to get accommodations, but they can't make the crowds go away.

Still, I can't help but wonder what exactly made the bullies so vicious on that resort, and yet, when a group of the same demographic (guys in early 20's) met me on a cruise, they treated me with nothing but respect. Perhaps it helped that I was pushing 30 and was therefore older than them, but why else?

It was your basic (and I do mean basic) Caribbean resort. Apparently, it had a problem with local trespassers, so they armed the guards. I think it only looked like a submachine gun in the dark; it may have been a modified rifle, I don't care. I'm just thankful I wasn't beaten up in a Third World country, with corrupt police and subpar hospitals.

Like I said, it's probably just the atmosphere of the cruise, which is designed to bring people together and draw them out. You don't normally find that in other places because you have more options for places to go and things to do when you go to, say the beach. Cruises have more of a scheduled routine and things already set up to do that you just join in. You aren't on your on to just come up with something by yourself. It's much easier to start a conversation with somebody when you are participating in an activity together or are sitting at the table eating with them than to go up to them and start a conversation for no reason other than they look like they might be nice to talk to.

Also, I'm going to ask you something and please don't take this the wrong way. It might be related to the trouble you are having with some people. Do you talk as much about cruises and boats and such in real life as you do on here? I've noticed that almost every post I've read of yours has something to do with it, or when you post about something else you bring up the cruise in it. If you do that in real life, bringing up cruises a lot - which I'm assuming may be one of your special interests - that might put some people off. Also, aren't you the same guy who talked about having to keep old texts in his phone in case one of his friends did something and tried to turn against him or something and you kept all the old texts as proof of something or other that may or may not happen one day? It might be somebody else who said that, but I was thinking it was you. If it was then I was wondering if maybe some of that kind of obsessiveness might come across in conversation. Also, was it you or another poster who talked about still being furious with his parents about not letting him have more than a certain amount of water as a child? It may just be me and how I read it, but I thought I detected a little obsessiveness in that too for several reasons, and if that was you as well as the phone thing, then unless you are aware of how that comes across and are watching what you say and all, maybe it comes across in conversation and folks just aren't interested.

Also, if you do tend to be somewhat obsessive, maybe you have unconscious habits or something that you do that could put people off and make them look at you funny. I know that a friend of mine has this annoying habit of wrinkling her nose three times every few minutes and blinking three times in a row but not regular blinking, she squinches her eyes tight each time and both of those are real noticable and people do look at her funny. She's got these habits because of effects of a drug she was put on after she had this head trauma and went crazy from it. She's the friend of mine from high school who went on to be a psychologist but isn't one anymore because of the head injury. She had her PhD by the time she was 25, she's one of those really, really smart people. Love her to death but the head injury really did her in. The drug makes her have those tics and people look at her funny because of them. Do you have anything like that, that could make people look at you funny and you might be interpreting that as hostility? Little things that people don't notice about themselves can cause people to look at them funny too. Like when guys button the top button of a button up shirt without wearing a tie, or when somebody wears a fanny pack, or even wearing high waist pants or something like that.

Just little things like that can cause people to look at you kind of puzzled like "What's up with him?" and it can seem like hostility if you are used to people putting you down or making fun of you. The last time I was made fun of or actually bullied was in high school but it was done to me my entire school career, from kindergarten on, and even though it's been that long, I still interpret funny looks like that as hostility and I have to remind myself that it isn't hostility it's just people wondering what's up with me. I love to dress vintage, I mean I go all out and dress completely in whichever era I'm wearing that day and I do get looks. Sometimes teenage girls give me the snob "What's wrong with that lady" and turn up their noses at me (I give it right back to them) and other people look at me like they are trying to figure out if it's a costume or what, but most who stare will smile at me or compliment me on it. Those who stare like they are wondering why I'm dressed like that usually end up with me just telling them flat out that I'm dressed in vintage because I like it. I don't do it meanly, but they look puzzled so I tell them. When they are staring at me looking confused I just smile and say "I like to dress vintage and have a lot of vintage stuff. Today I'm wearing 20's/40's/Edwardian/50's/60's mod/Brady Bunch Chic, etc. What do you think?" and they usually respond well.

So basically, you might want to pay close attention to what you say or do in public for a few days and notice if you are doing or saying something that could make others either not interested in talking or maybe something that could cause them to stare. It's VERY easy to do things like that without knowing you are doing it. I had to have my stuff like that pointed out to me and explained to me why it was odd. I still do on occasion. So, maybe try to pay close attention to yourself or ask a friend if they notice anything like that about you. Make sure you tell them that you won't be offended if they tell you, that you really want to know. That way you can work on stopping doing it and maybe that can help.

Also, try and keep an open mind about the "dirty looks" you say you get from lots of people. I used to really interpret everything like that from people as a dirty look when it wasn't. Its very easy to do when you have been bullied and picked on. Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt. Also, some people have whats called a "bitchy resting face" which makes them look mad or mean and they are simply not making any expression at all. Maybe some people have that, or maybe some people are just having a bad day and giving lots of people those looks. I'm not saying that you are imagining it all, but maybe you are reading too much into some of them. I'm sure you have gotten dirty looks from some, because everybody gets those, I'm just wondering if maybe you are seeing some that aren't there, or aren't meant the way you think they might be meant. It's easy to do.

OliveOilMom, bringing up my old threads where I talked about my difficulties was uncalled for! It's not obsessiveness; it's asking for insight from a neutral third party (that's you and the rest of WP) when I was questioning my own sanity. As for talking about cruises a lot, I control that very well in real life. But this is WP, for crying out loud! It should be a safe place for special interests. Speaking of which, I think it's plenty normal (even for hardcore NT's) to be talking about cruises on a cruise. Thanks to a friendly conversation like that with a fellow passenger, I learned about and visited a real, operating synagogue in the middle of the Caribbean, of all places. And being Jewish, I couldn't help but smugly relish the thought: "yup, we're there too!"

That resort fiasco was god-knows-how-long ago. I think I was 19 or 20 at the time, when my AS was much more severe than now. Whatever the hell I was doing, it must have been bad enough to make four guys want to beat me up. And whatever progress I made some years later, it must have been big enough to make one guy think it's a good idea to let me dance with his girlfriend. Surely, there has to be some environment-driven difference behind it, and not just me emulating NT behavior better and/or looking better through aging. Your comment about what's essentially forced socialization was spot on, but there seems to be more similarities than differences between cruises and resorts. And yet, one lets solos make friends, and the other beats them up.

You also mentioned clothes, so another thing: outside of dinner and theater, I dressed like crap on a cruises: ragged cargo shorts, off-brand graphic tees, raggedy sneakers, a faded swimsuit, and in ports, a decade-old, worn-out backpack; and yet, I got affectionate hugs from three women on the dance floor. By contrast, I bought clothes in latest fashions (including an Armani T-shirt for $79.99) specifically for the resort, and no girl there would touch me with a 10-foot pole. (Both places had an overwhelmingly American crowd.) I suppose all this has to do with "owning" your choice of clothes, which you described very nicely. Or maybe because given how I looked at age 19, wearing Armani was like putting a lipstick on a pig. Now, a fashion shirt is simply not required .

With all that said, I still will never stay at a resort alone.

I brought up the old threads because I wanted to know if that was you. I asked if it was you because you seemed obsessive about some things to me and Lord knows I'm not an expert, but I thought that maybe if you were obsessive here, you might be obsessive IRL and not notice it. I wasn't bringing them up to embarrass you with them or anything, they aren't embarrassing that I can tell. I just wondered if that was you because you seemed obsessed about some specific things so I was wondering how often you get obsessive in the real world.

Of course it's fine to talk about your special interest here. I was asking if you did that as much in real life as well, and you said you didn't.

Maybe people who go on cruises are different than ones who go to the resort. You know what you are going to get on a cruise, so people who feel that they would like that sort of thing go on one. Maybe they are just friendlier people and like socialization like that.