Kids birthday parties non-invite woes

Post Reply New Topic

Hey you guys, whattya know, I just stumbled across this article today where a kid in Ontario Canada with Aspergers, called Odin, had NOBODY show up for his 13th birthday. The instant I saw the headline "nobody shows up to boy's birthday party", I INSTANTLY KNEW before I even clicked the link that he had Aspergers -sure enough he did. This is horribly unfortunate that it comes to this...but congrats to his mom for sending out a cyber-call for recognition, which he got from the wife of the Prime Minister, the leader of the opposition Justin Trudeau, and from Toronto news and sports celebrities.

http://news.nationalpost.com/2015/03/21 ... day-party/

Clearly this is a recurring problem faced by Aspergers kids, so it must be a cruel message sent by the boy's peers to tell him that nobody really likes him and maybe now he knows. I'm sure that there was a bit of a "conspiracy" or joint mutual decision to boycott his party and make cracks about what a "loser" he is. Kids can be really nasty and cruel.

Nobody has to come to a party they are invited to. People with AS typically have few to no friends. Why be surprised about this?

It seems that people think that people invited to your party are obligated to show up. That doesn't happen unless they RSVP that they are coming.

It is common for people on the spectrum to have a hard time but I have noticed that you have some people with AS who appear to connect really well. Even these types of aspies refuse to come to our parties.

Example:

I know this one guy who has been associating with a group for years and whenever it comes to my friends or I inviting him to things (All of us are on the spectrum too) he either refuses with an excuse or he says he is coming and often bails with a brush off.

He thinks he is so much more important because he has an easier time with neurotypicals and has the tendency to talk down to several of us when we are around.

My daughter also had hard time in making friend at school and that is why as a solution I have decided to throw a grand birthday party for him at best venue space nyc and somehow managed to spread this news in her school. Kids showed up for the party and that was really great.

I rarely had birthday parties. Once when I was in elementary school my mother made a bunch of birthday party invitations and told me to hand them out at school. I put one the desk of each of the 30+ students in my class...One person showed up. He left early, after about thirty minutes. My friends didn't even come.

I forgot to mention some other situations

1. I used to get invited to most of my second cousin's parties until we both entered jr high. Then we grew apart and invited friends she was close to.

2. I would say adolescence you are still a kid- In high school I associated with 4 people from special education who were on the milder side but didn't have autism. They had other issues. Two out of 4 invited me to things. The others never bothered. I always got excuses.

Had a certain experience regarding one of my Birthday parties, although, it's slightly different than you'd expect:

Basically, when I was in first grade, my older brother was angry at me because I didn't invite his friend to my Birthday party, (we'll get to his 'friend' later), and my mother calmly explained to him that it was my Birthday party and not his.

Well, I can only assume that my brother ended up telling him about my party, (probably threw a tantrum or something because he wasn't invited), and he ended up throwing a pool party and invited all of my classmates, expect for me.

This really upset me and my mother, and my brother just didn't care.

Now, let's get to this so-called "friend" of his... Well, he certainly wasn't a friend of mine. Constantly criticizing me and everything I did, including the time where he ripped my Powerpuff Girls coloring book out of my hands and said that I was, "doing it wrong".

Glad he doesn't live in my state, anymore. Constantly correcting me, and just making me look stupid in front of everyone.

Could he have had a twisted romantic interest in you? When I was in middle school I was relentlessly bullied by this boy in my class who also lived in my neighborhood. Since he lived close by, he also taunted me at the bus stop and on the bus rides to school. Even after an intervention by the school, it did not stop. One day my dad chased him down and he never gave me problems again, this was the one day in my life that my dad did some decent for me. Couple of years later we ended up in same social circle and he confessed he had been horrible because he had liked me then and wanted my attention in a GF way. Kinda any attention is good attention like the Kardashians.

Anyway, we are now almost in our 40s and couple of years ago he made the news because he is a pedophile. We already knew this because in HS we stopped talking to him because he got involved with a 9 or 11 year old (I have trouble recalling numbers) and did something that got him in enough trouble to leave school and go to the "special school". Does your brother still keep in touch with him? I'm wondering if he continued his twisted ways and is also a delinquent now.

Not that I'm aware of. I'll have to ask him the next time he comes over.

He was also the younger brother of his other best friend, too.

And while the idea of him liking me is kind of interesting, I really doubt it... Besides, I don't want a control freak for a boyfriend. Think I'll pass.