Becoming too attached to people

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I'm exactly the same way. I don't have in person friends because I'm extremely shy, but I get really attached to pretty much anyone willing to talk to me online. Other people probably find it creepy, and I had one real life boyfriend in the past but he couldn't deal with how I always wanted to be with him so he dumped me. Most my friendships don't last long but that's why I came to this website, to hopefully find others who are more understanding and might put up with me.

Yes very. I know for myself I have abandonment issues from having a parent leave at an early age which has fueled that fire. I've recently struggled with my only friend having a child. Being someone who strongly dislikes kids, and his never having really much time, and his interests shifting, it has sent me into a very deep depression for the last two+ years. Most people dont get why.

But while I think the concept of diversifying your friendships SOUNDS good, in practice its almost like telling a poor person to change that by winning the lottery. You cant just choose to do it whenever you want. If you have a narrow spectrum of interests, its very hard to find people with whom you have anything in common to even start a casual friendship. At least to me. Not that its not a good idea, but the how would be my question.

What I would say in response to the original post is maybe you just havent come across the right people. Think about it. If YOU had a friend that obsessed over hanging out with you what would you think? If you got along with them, you'd probably be thrilled to death. My point is, as with many Aspie traits, there's a profound positive in the right situation. If you found someone who could recognize this, they would see you as very loyal and a very good, trustworthy, dependable companion. People want to be wanted. I think many people are programmed to not be "needy" which I believe to be contrary to our human nature. And I believe Aspies to be more in touch with our real human nature on a primitive, instinctual level than people who have been so easily adaptable.

Im no expert, I dont really have friends much anymore. But I can assure you trying to be something you are not will get you at best a casual acquaintance who really only uses you because you're around. If you want an actual friend, they need to accept you and your truth. Thats my belief

I often become much too attached to family members, even distant ones, after spending 2+ days with them.

This is strange, since I often feel emotionally disassociated from my friends.

Yeah,I feel I have an immense sense of attachment and loyalty for my family and even for people who politely put up with me, as I am normally a nervous wreck around people in person, though I tend to outwardly have a deadpan expression,which I think frighteneds people as they may think i'm angry or just mean..., so when I find people that will respond positively to me I find that I am more likely to have a naive childlike trust in them,though I am glad I can trust people I also sometimes worry once I realize that I barely know that person,still I would rather be naive and overly trust people then be cynical and bitter and distrustful of everyone.

Aristophanes, the playwright, was not a cynic. He was more of a satirist.

I am the same way, I've learned to be stable being on my own so much but I too get attached to people, which probably pushes them away. I am not gay, and never have feelings for men, but I've found i can get attached to both men and women. If I make a new guy friend and get attached I always want to talk to him and spend time with him doing stuff, its all very innocent from my perspective but i recognize it can be creepy.

With women I devote 100% of my time to them and want to help them with everything and the end result is the same, I annoy them away. My ex-girlfriend being lonely and 62 didnt mind at all, in fact even after she broke up with me she still wanted me to be like that, but she thought it was all the anxiety that makes aspies become too attached to people. Fear of loosing a friend, so we cling hard.