Got an issue: help needed!!

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Out of curousity, how much have you actually spoken to her/how well do you know her?

It is clear you have no interest in friendship or relationship with her, but maybe you should allow yourself to meet new people.

Sometimes meeting new people is what makes you want a friendship or relationship with the other person obviously.

Just saying, she does seem alright so far - you don't even have to date her or anything. Just talk to her a bit more I'd say, if you haven't already. What's the worst that could happen?

And yes it is the normal NT thing to do, but it really doesn't sound like you are interested at all. You need to at least be slightly interested in meeting and getting to know the other person, friend or otherwise.

It really doesn't sound like you''re talking to her because you want to but because you have to.

It's best to think about what you want and just make a descision id say.

If you really weren't interested than why would you force yourself? Normal NT thing to do? No, the normal NT thing to do is to stop talking to her altogether, because even NTs will choose not to speak to someone if they do not want to....

You don't have to be buddies.

But always be respectful to her...like you said, on a "business level."

Has she actually asked you out on a date?

1. only enough to tell her I have Autism (hoping to scare her off)

2 a,b.Can't I use the impaired social reciprocal card for my own benefit for once?

3. Yep
A. Yep, in order to shut up my 'friend' i make pretend that I am faking an interest in this person
B. I'm 34 I'm pretty sure I know where I want to go in life and how to get there.

4.Because I've been called out by my 'friend' that I should seek help being that I am more reclusive (to my self introvert) in nature and not an extrovert that I don't want to meet or be friends with a bunch of different people. So to make it appear that I'm trying to be 'normal' otherwise I wouldn't be wasting my time and yours with these drawn out messages.



1. I am I don't believe in putting people down either directly or indirectly

2. Nope, I found out she's already got somebody she's seeing by my friend wants me to be friends thinking that over time she'll leave him for me. I don't want to be that person. I told my friend why do you hit on her and become friends to which he give a cop out answer oh she'll never be interested in me tho she really interested in you even tho she's never expressed it.

Well tonight against my better judgement I went to the Pizza Joint to where the girl works to which she asked me if I wanted to grab a cup of coffee sometime and my friend kinda pressured me into going to grab a cup with her she wanted to do that tomorrow well today 9/17 to which I said I want some time to think about it she got up and tended to other customers to which my 'friend' called me out by saying that's BS you need to do this tomorrow otherwise it will appear that you are not interested in her (which I'm not) I finally told her perhaps Friday to which my 'friend' rudely jumped in and said why not tomorrow?! why wait? to which again I said I wanted some time to think about this before I make a decision like this to which she said ok you can call me up and we'll work out the details to which my friend said why wait until Friday?! To which I said because that's when I'm comfortable I also recall that she had/has a boyfriend as well and I asked my friend what about him if he should see me with her that could be trouble for me and/or her to which he said oh she'll beat him up. so my main thing is A) I don't want this to turn into something other then a coffee date and B) if she does have a boyfriend I really don't want to be involved for my own safety. C ) if my 'friend' finds out I'm sure he'll give me a case in the ass about it about how I need help because I don't want to make friends etc so I need advice on how to put space between him/I.

does anybody know how I would go about editing/deleting my above post I want restructure and revise is and I do not see an edit/delete button.

Advice?

You could only edit/delete posts up to about 15 minutes after you post

Damn ok, well today I got called out on my decision to take time rather then jump into getting a cup a coffee to which my he kinda went off the deep end by saying " Ok Texting and talking and meeting for coffee is normal stuff for most people. Nothing for me to spend any time on.... for your sake she has the patience for you as most people don't. Life is too short. I don't need to know anymore about it your on your own with her....You have a the opportunity to have a new friend with a female don't f**k it up!"

I replied and the ones whom don't have the patience just move on no big loss for me. as for ..... she knows how I feel and thus far is understanding (we had a long conversation last night about the whole coffee thing she said it was an open invite so I can take my time). I went on to say I didn't automatically decide to be come your friend (the one whom is pushing me to do such things) 123 I thought about it at first and after talking with you at a restaurant for a while I took a chance. that's how it is with her. I don't want to jump into things especially with the opposite sex We're texting now so some progress is being made.

His reply was "whatever. I have a full plate working today I don't want to travel down this road again right now. This whole thing is a non-issue for me and I'm not professionally qualified to deal with it From a wise man I meant one day....""You'll figure it out""

My final reply was Yep it's easy for you to say whatever & it's a non issue for you after you opened this door and involved me now I have to deal with it and I plan to my own way. If it works out good if it doesn't my life as well as hers will continue to go on with that said have a good day.

So that's where I am at...Just wish people would respect me enough not to push me into things I am not ready for

I totally agree. You have to go at your own pace. I'm glad the pizza person realizes that.

Yep, as for my 'friend'....I think I'm going to toss him out to the trash cans I'm getting tired of the verbal bashing that happens (going on 2 weeks now folks) he really crossed a line with me by giving out my e-mail and then kinda forcing me to give this person my phone number (he was reaching for his phone if I didn't provide my own number) I'm getting tired of the whatevers when I have a valid point and I'm f*****g tired of feeling that I am in the wrong most of the time.

I talked with the lady this afternoon to vocalize things and she has helped calm me down tho she knows this person creates more anxiety because of the way he pushes me she thinks it's because he "really cares" about me.. if only she'd seen the text messages he had sent me.

EDIT: I thought of this last night.. He had gotten me to join a gym that he use to go to and had only been to twice since I've joined (been there 3 weeks now) now he's trying to get me to talk/hang with this woman....Maybe this is his way of "kindly" shoving me away from him or otherwise no longer wants to be an active friend of mine...