Is church a good place to socialize?

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My Fiancee asked me to visit her church even though I am not religious. I said to her last night "why can't my hockey buddies me like this?" Everyone was so friendly, welcoming and respectful. Look forward to going back again even not believing the dogma.

I don't know if you were specifically trying to be humorous, but your post made me smile. My hubby and i have said the same thing about our church facebook group. Prayer request with 20 ppl posting "prraayyyyinnnggg!!" aaackkk. I'll take 1 real prayer from someone over 80 people facebook praying any day.

My feeling on church is that I believe in God, am captivated by the redemption story that runs through the Bible and comes to fruition in the person of Jesus Christ...and would not trade this love of Christ for anything. It gives me purpose for today and hope for life after death. But I have a HARD time with church. Our church is large and the service for me is a sensory nightmare. The worship band grates on my nerves with the volume; I have panic attacks in large groups or settings where i might get stuck in the middle of a pew. Add to this chasing after my HFA child in the midst while hubby is working most weekends out of necessity, not choice...and i just can't do church every week. And the social stuff is exhausting. And don't even get me started on the women's groups, moms' groups, etc. They are layers of socializing that is far too complicated for me; and after several bad experiences with ppl in them, i have totally given up on trying them.

But...we have a wonderful Sunday School class where we study the New Testament from the original Greek text. This is what i love. This is where I find the layers of the story of the Bible and how the New Testament and Old Testament do not contradict, but complement each other. Jesus said he came not to abolish the law but to fulfill it...well, there is no better way to see those layers unwrapped than to study the original languages devoid of theology but just reading the text and studying the words, the grammar, as a historical text first and then finding theology in what is learned. Anyway, i digress--i am in my total nerd element here. The class is very in-depth and due to that, the shallow people are weeded out and we are left with the serious students. The friends I have made in this class have become very dear to me.

So...to give my opinion on your question, I would say a "definite maybe." Our church is, frankly, not aspie-friendly. But if you find a church offering an opportunity to study with like-minded people...then I think there is not a better place to be.

I will never be adept at socializing for the sake of socializing. I am much more successful when the focus is on a goal and socializing happens incidentally in pursuit of the goal. This rule is the same in all social situations i interact in, church included.

You got that right!! !

However, dcj123 and zeldapsychology read the Bible for more information about how God acts, and remember to include the good, bad, logical, AND paradoxical acts of God in your analyses of Him.

(Hint, hint: I did, and I am an atheist / not religious anymore.)

I think it's supposed to depend on the church. Mine is full of friendly people. Quite a few people know my name (though I always wear my name tag), a couple of the older ladies like sitting with me and I'm always stopping to say hi or talk to someone. Even the nursery teacher knows who I am and I'm a single woman who started attending last year, so she didn't know me before that. She's such a sweet lady. She's dragged me into the kitchen before when she knew there was pizza back there.

I guess i sound a bit like i am trying to win someone over to my way of thinking...David Colby, i have to say in my research i came to a completely different conclusion as you. I think it is something we each have to find for ourselves--meaning, if you are dead set against believing in God, i can talk til i am blue in the face and you will still be an atheist. I am not trying to change your or anyone else's mind or offend anyone. I meant to illustrate my point that the Bible is a complex study which i thoroughly enjoy and have found personal enrichment therein. Also that i have found enrichment in doing this study with like-minded people in a Sunday School at church. This, i think, applies to the question as to whether or not church is a good place to socialize. For me, no place is a great place to socialize unless it involves pursuit of a certain goal so i can take my (and anyone else's) focus off my awkwardness. So please pardon me if i stated this awkwardly.

And, Zeldapsychology, i would not stress over church. If it is a place where you can be loved , make friends, and enjoy the service, by all means make the effort to go. If you are searching for God...well, none of us can focus very well on God or anyone/anything else when we are on sensory overload and maxed out. If you are searching for God, you may find Him other places than church. I do go to church for the sake of my children, but often that is not where I meet God. Best wishes.

At my church, many parishioners {especially parishioners with young children} behave in a very arrogant manner, as if being Catholic is the coolest religion in the world. Just seeing someone behave in this manner makes me wish that my childhood church was still fully open and not part of a retirement community.

It depends, some churches are obligatory by nature and require an extreme amount of devotion to the lifestyle and donating a percentage of your wages.

If you are not the phenotype of what they are looking for, you may not fit in. Christian churches can be extremely selective about who they let in.

As a person on the spectrum, I personally would feel awkward socializing in my local church. Feel more comfortable around others who also have social difficulties or some other type of disability. People have suggested joining a local church group, but I can't imagine it being any different from a similar type of milieu of 'normals' -- This is not to say that any group that is not Asperger-related is 'normal' (whatever this means), but I suspect it would be comprised of mostly NTs.

As much as I want to interact with people from my church, my mom has developed a habit of making me feel socially awkward by addressing me in a very cold manner, which in turn, gives people the impression that I too am antisocial like my mom.

My sister goes to another parish entirely and she says it's more welcoming and friendly.