Christmas Gift Rejected

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Wow that is harsh. You put effort into making them something and they did not want it. Is he upset at you or something? I think it is better when someone uses their creativity to make a gift. Don't let it bother you.

Again, thank you to all who have taken the time to reply.

I suspect you may be right on both counts Summer_Twilight. It’s frustrating though not to have closure, not to know what it is that has offended him, not to have a chance to discuss it and try to put things right.

Thanks dobyfm. I am trying not to let it bother me. He knows that I don’t really do Christmas in the mainstream way. I don’t buy lots of presents and ask that people don’t buy them for me. I make charitable donations instead and friends know that is what I do. I remember telling my friend that I will sometimes give presents (usually handmade) to people who are very special to me but again I don’t want or expect anything in return. The pleasure is in the making and giving. And maybe that’s the problem here. Maybe he didn’t see our friendship as special any longer (although I know he once did). Maybe he feels under some kind of obligation to me that he just doesn’t want. I just don’t know and I though I can analyze and conjecture until I am blue in the face, I shall never know.

So, despite being sad about the loss of a special friend, someone whose company I enjoyed and who seemed to enjoy mine, I have to let it go. Sometimes my fingers itch to call him and then I remember that he didn’t even say thank you and that’s enough to stop me.

Thats just plain rudeness, I had someone on facebook who Christmas 2014, ranted about how all they had for Christmas was deodorant, if someone buys you a gift, just be grateful your were in someone's thoughts and people cared enough to do something for you. I think you should feel good, you put yourself out there for someone else and put so much effort in for them.

Two Christmases ago I was invited over to an ex-friend's home for dinner. At the time I was looking for work and had a very tight budget. I happened to get a free bottle of wine and a bottle of beer. Since I was going to dinner on Christmas day I gave my friend the wine and her husband the beer. She bought me lots of presents which I was thankful for. The next day I got a private message which briefly mentioned that it was good to see me. Then she went off into a tangent about some good ideas for gifts in a persnickety manner. I thought she was talking about some things for my family. I was wrong. "I meant for me. I am not sure if you understood or not."

After she learned that I could not afford any of those things, she started acting very different towards me by turning cold and uppity. I noticed it when she attended a gathering at my house on week later. I knew that she was pretty much done with me.

I have asked her if she was mad because she didn't get her way by having something in return and she said no. Rather she gave me some lame cover story about not wanting to use a family member I because I talked about us doing a girl's get away and would get a time share. I knew she was lying because she became good and making up cover stories and excuses towards the end of our friendship.