I have absolutely no friends

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Yigeren
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26 Dec 2015, 4:50 pm

i_wanna_blue wrote:

I have no real life friends either and haven't for some time. I try to make some connections online, but it gets me nowhere 99% of the time, so I guess that ain't an option anymore. I did feel like making some connections and to feel a sense of belonging but perhaps that's just wishful thinking. I, like you, have very little interest in what most others enjoy associating with, apart from sports that is. I don't know why but I find it hard to do Mainstream. Most people need to be associated with popular culture though, so it reduces my chances. You could say that I should make friends with other misfits, and outcasts but I've tried, and it's gotten me nowhere as well. But it ain't so bad. I don't mind being on my own to be honest. For example, I'll happily go to the movies by myself, if there were anything decent to watch.

Maybe I'm just hard to please. When I did have people around me, I complained about the drama and prejudices that came with them. Now I complain about feeling left out lol.

I tend to be outcast by outcasts myself. I don't generally mind being alone either; I most definitely need my space. But having some friends to hang out with every once in awhile would be nice.

In a way I'm scared of friendships because they include obligations. I don't like to feel obligated to go out all the time or constantly talk on the phone.

It does suck to be entirely friendless though.

Moon Trance
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26 Dec 2015, 4:58 pm

Don´t throw in the towel! (surrender)

I´m sure you are a wonderful person...but I have to addmit is not easy have AS...we´re very different than NT, we act different, we have bad social skills...

I don´t want to see you sad :/ i have the feeling that you will meet persons who accept yourself...there are not much, but they exist.

And well, i´m sure you are a valious person and very kind.

You can count on me, in the forum we are practically family!

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kraftiekortie
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26 Dec 2015, 6:45 pm

Here in the Northeast, USA, we are under the influence of a positive Arctic Oscillation. This is why we will have two consecutive record warm months.

I know what you mean by "pretentious eccentric." I had enough of that myself!

You could probably meet suitable people here!

the_phoenix
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26 Dec 2015, 7:14 pm

Yigeren wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

One of my special interests is the weather

Sorry, when I say I don't want to talk about the weather I mean complain about it, or use it as small-talk. I actually wouldn't mind a real discussion about weather in a scientific way. Like the causes behind weather patterns, etc. That would not bore me.

the_phoenix wrote:

What kind of art are you into, Yigeren?

I really like abstract art, geometric designs, experimenting with shapes and color. I can do realism very well, on paper or canvas. I like ceramics, but I'm not very good at throwing pottery, coiling is easier. I like to just make things out of things people normally throw away. I like to study random things, like garbage bins or other common objects, and see beauty in their design or shapes. I like taking photographs, but I have no fancy equipment. I just love to make things. I'm very good with my hands. But these past few years I have been stressed and depressed. So I don't create, because inspiration for me comes when I am happy or relaxed.

When I was little, I began drawing as a baby in my highchair. I drew constantly for years. It was my special interest and I did it for myself, it was even a way of playing for me. But my dad used to yell at me for it, because he said it was useless. My parents had fights about it. He wanted me to be interested in what he liked. Eventually I became discouraged. I gradually stopped creating and didn't begin again until college. Then I tried to go to school for it, but hated it. I wasn't creating for me, it was for a grade, or to make a living. It was competitive, there were deadlines, and it was stressful and no fun.

I'm also into abstract art. As a photographer, I prefer creating abstract landscape scenes and abstract nature close-ups from ice or from a sunset over a pond or lake, or simply ripples in the water, or a tree against a textured overcast sky. They become abstract based on the post-processing techniques I use in PhotoShop Elements. Some people criticize the use of a computer program, but I bet those same people don't know how to use PhotoShop. Basically, I paint with it.

Haven't done serious painting (with paint) myself, but I appreciate those who do geometric shapes with vivid colors.

As a photographer, I do realistic shots as well. Though actually I preferred my older cameras, which had a softer focus and gave my realistic shots a more impressionistic look.

I don't really draw or paint. And never went to art school. For me, I fell into becoming an artist like Forrest Gump fell into things.

That said, I have a day job ... otherwise, I couldn't afford to be an artist!

Art is definitely super competitive. Personally, I like to support my fellow artists when I can, and buy their work ... small paintings or photographs or fine art greeting cards or note cards.

I would say, Yigeren, do art for you.

...

Yigeren
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26 Dec 2015, 9:59 pm

Moon Trance wrote:

Thank you, that is a very nice thing to say, and it does make me feel better

kraftiekortie wrote:

Here in the Northeast, USA, we are under the influence of a positive Arctic Oscillation. This is why we will have two consecutive record warm months.

That is very interesting, and good to know, as I am in the northeast as well. I did have to look up what an arctic oscillation was, but it makes sense. I definitely do not mind warmer weather.

Yigeren
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26 Dec 2015, 10:14 pm

the_phoenix wrote:

That is almost the same thing that I have wanted to do, except with paint. I love nature, and I tend to notice interesting patterns that others do not. Close-ups of natural things, made into the abstract, reveal beautiful things about nature that aren't immediately apparent. I think using a computer program is also art, it requires imagination and skill, it's just a different medium. I have used Photoshop in the past, but never mastered it. I can't afford to own these types of programs.

I always did art for me, but I definitely do appreciate when others like my work. It's just not what drives me. Unless it would be for someone special, that's a different story.

I would be interested in seeing some of your work sometime if you have a site or something on display. Unless you are very private about your work, some people are.

OrangeMittens
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27 Dec 2015, 2:13 am

I know how you feel but I don't really mind talking about stupid things (since I'm not that smart to begin with.)

The last "friend" I had just wanted sex..I tried to but it didn't work out I got nervous and told him to get out of my car..
I can only make "friends." When I'm stripping or sending him nudes that's the only way people pay any attention to me, or even talk to me..
I haven't had a real friend since I was 8 years old

I don't strip anymore because things got out of hand with one guy and he posted them online somewhere..
I know if someone is reading this is thinking "You can strip but you're nervous to have sex..."

Yes well it's different when you're doing it through text and emails...
Really guys and girls only talk to me if they need something

Guys usually want to have sex with me they're nice to me...make me feel good saying how pretty my hair is and how nice I look. It's like a temporary high, then they start to meniton sex and how they heard "I was a freak/" (Freak means like a really wild sexual girl.)
And start to ask me for nudes (this hasn't happen in a while okay.) I use to send it to them and they would say how nice I look I would get that good feeling again thinking he likes me..he doens't like me though he's just using me for my body
I cried one time over some guy...after two dates he was feeling all up on me wanting to go to a park..

So Yes I know what its like to be used I've been used by men my entire life and no I don't think all men are like this and yes I aware its my fault for giving in...but at the time I was desbrate to talk to someone even if it was about sex

blessedbethyname
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Joined: 25 Dec 2015
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27 Dec 2015, 2:46 am

I don't have any true friends now. Friendship is a give and take situation. However, I have not been in a position to give and that usually ends the friendship. I also am happier with my solitude and this probably leads to my not interacting with others even though I am invited to go out. I am not a people person and never have been. It used to bother me when I was young that I could not relate to others and was always socially awkward. Now, I would rather be alone and do things on my own at my pace and freedom. I don't hate people. I just cannot relate to others well. I totally understand others who have no friends. I am one of those because that is the way I am.

Orangemittens, it is one thing if you are seeking sex buddies. However, you are seeking acceptance through having sex. I know you are lonely. But, you must not base your worth on having sex with strangers. 1. It is dangerous 2. it leads to a dead-end. 3. You feel more miserable afterwards than before you had sex. I know how you feel since I have been there and done that. I am now trying to invest in myself and feel more confident. I am educating myself, am seeking a new career, and am trying to become financially independent. It is not easy since anything that is worth it takes hard work. However, I suggest you invest in yourself somehow by going to school or finding a job or developing some constructive skill that will help you succeed in life in the long-run. Basically, being busy with your life is more productive than seeking acceptance by having sex with others. It will make you feel good about yourself. You are quite young still. When you have established yourself, then many people will come to you. Friends may come and go and also sex partners. However, what you make of yourself is your own and is permanent. Please take care!

Yigeren
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27 Dec 2015, 2:50 am

I went through some of that as a teenager. I think it was really bad for my self-esteem. I was cute, so it was easy to get attention from guys, but it wasn't positive attention. I was being used. Nobody really liked me for who I was.

If you keep it up, you'll associate your self worth only with your looks, and once you lose your looks, you'll feel you have nothing.

specialsauce
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27 Dec 2015, 3:26 am

Yigeren wrote:

cberg wrote:

Good thing that's at least somewhat over with. People here love discussing the humanities, that's part of why I stick around. Apparently the chameleon is an ersatz mascot for patriarchy smashers around here, you would seem to fit in better than you probably think.

I hope so. I'm not exactly an expert on any one topic though, like most people I've seen on here. I tend to get obsessed over things within my major areas of interest, then suddenly lose interest for no apparent reason, so I know a little about a lot of things. Maybe it's ADHD (quite hyperactive as a child)...but I don't know

Sounds like me. I can't even talk about the things I'm interested in because it turns out I don't know much of anything. That's not fair on me of course, because I do know it, but it's at the back of my head somewhere and I'll only remember when the conversation is over.

I suck at interacting with people, it's no surprise that I have few friends and none who hang out with me on a regular basis.

I'm starting to lose faith in myself. When I was a kid I was always working on some little project, looking through my old papers I am impressed with the kinds of things I did. Before the time of Youtube I created a short video and sent it in to a TV station. Of course they never aired it, but I got a nice letter from them, and it's something I actually did, rather than sitting on my butt like I do these days.

Now that I'm not a naive kid I have a degree of learned helplessness, I've come to believe everything is too hard and not worth bothering with.

Spiderpig
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27 Dec 2015, 3:42 am

Yigeren wrote:

[I have used Photoshop in the past, but never mastered it. I can't afford to own these types of programs.

What about the GIMP?

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Yigeren
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27 Dec 2015, 3:49 am

specialsauce wrote:

I do the same thing, forgetting things I know during conversations. I forget vocabulary, too. I think it's just anxiety. Probably the same with you as well. Or just that having to focus on behaving in a socially appropriate manner takes up too much brain power.

It does make me feel stupid. I am much more intelligent than I appear to be to most people. Many people are shocked when they realize how intelligent I am. I'm not a genius or anything either, it's just that at first they think I'm a complete idiot (or so it seems). It's really insulting.

I can understand about feeling helpless. I know I'm capable of so much more than I am currently accomplishing. That's why I just got fed up recently and decided f*** it, I'm going to go out and do something and make something of myself before it's too late and I'm old or dead. So that's my New Year's resolution, to force myself to go out and do all the difficult things regardless of my anxiety.

You could probably do the same. We often seem to underestimate ourselves and hold ourselves back, I think.

Yigeren
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27 Dec 2015, 3:54 am

Spiderpig wrote:

Yigeren wrote:

[I have used Photoshop in the past, but never mastered it. I can't afford to own these types of programs.

What about the GIMP?

Ha, I had never even heard of it. But I did just look it up and that is a good idea. Apparently I don't know a whole lot of what's out there. I have another photo editing program that is free but it's rather limited in its capabilities.

Thank you

cberg
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27 Dec 2015, 4:37 am

Yigeren wrote:

I tend to think passing interests like yours lend an agglomerate picture of the world. I sort of have the inverse quandary of stuffing my head with so much random knowledge that it starts edging out everything else. As I understand it, this has a lot to do with my insomnia. There are lots of different ways to reconstruct knowledge at its' boundaries...

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Spiderpig
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27 Dec 2015, 5:35 am

Yigeren wrote:

Well, the GIMP is more than just "free" in the ordinary sense in which that word would be understood in this context. As Richard Stallman puts it, it's free as in free speech, and only as a result of the usefuleness of coöperative development through the Internet is it also free as in free beer for you to use. It's easier to make the distiction in languages that don't use the same ordinary word for 'having, made with or respecting freedom' and 'at a price of zero'.

I began to learn about the existence of free---as in free speech---software precisely when I found the GIMP as a replacement for a then-already-obsolete version of Adobe PhotoDeluxe. Then, after some trouble when I tried to enable some kind of functionality on Windows, I figured the GIMP might work more smoothly on an operating system made with the same philosophy ... and then I was amazed at the huge amount of software that was there, all perfectly legal for me to use, and generally made with coöperation in mind, and therefore encouraging the user to learn, rather than making things needlessly obscure, unnecessarily limiting what the user can do with it, or competing for the user's attention like plants for sunlight. What I find truly shocking is how little visible the Free World is.

If you're willing to program a little bit, you can write scripts to make the GIMP do a lot of things. An idea I haven't yet gotten started with---and which perhaps someone else has done out there---is stereograms.

goatfish57
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27 Dec 2015, 6:34 am

blessedbethyname wrote:

Yes, less anger more peace

One of my happiest memories is being on a coral garden at night with no one around. The only light was from a bright moon. I was floating at 15 feet watching the reef. When a strange black and white figure cast a moving shadow across the coral. It was a lionfish on patrol.

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