I repel other women

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I've always fared better with women than men. At least until I say something stupid. I don't do well with men in general because I can't do that male bonding thing. And, for some reason, women have always said stuff around me that I've never heard them say in front of other men. I dunno why. Did get my ears singed a few times.

When I was younger, I hated hanging around them thar men folk and always hung around da 'wimmin'. Maybe I got some kinda cooties or something that only they can see.....sorta like a herd marker that only people with a high estrogen content can identify?

And if anybody really thinks that last paragraph is real....well.......

Hmmmm, I've seen just as much cattiness from men as women. It's just a different kind of cattiness. And, if you don't follow their set of rules, you will be just as ostracized. But, then I may be projecting my own difficulties with males..;..

Got the same thing too about people thinking you're coming on to them. I was telling one woman, who should have known by past conversations that anatomy is a special interest. It's something that I discuss in purely observational terms. We were talking about skin and the fact that she and I are that really, really white skinned type. Easy to burn, etc. As an artist, and as a 3D artist I've had to learn about translucencies and such. So, I said, "You know the really cool thing about really, really white skinned women?" (Now don't get yer back bowed up and realize the content and the direction first.) She said, "Better not, that's how you get into trouble."
Now, I have no idea what she was talking about, but, since that time, she has not sent messages or anything. So, I don't know what happened there. But, this was the brunt of my thesis:
In really, really white women (sans the high freckly ones) there is a unique translucency to the skin that actually makes them look whiter by letting the blue of the veins show through. It accentuates the rosey arterial, fatty areas (cheeks, etc) and makes the skin appear even 'whiter' It's an old painters trick that to make something actually look whiter, you have to put a tiny bit of blue on it. And, it shows differently in men than women most times due to the inherent differences in body fat/location amounts. Now, I feel that I must point out that I in no way prefer any skin type to another. My dating experiences would show that.

So, I'm about to go on a scientific tangent about subsurface scattering and how it affects the perceived colors and also influenced how and why painters use the colors they do. But, apparently I crossed a line. I seem to do that. And, all I can think of is this: If somebody would ever stop jumping to conclusions, they may find something out that's different than their expectations.

I too am happily married. But, the stupid schoolboy will come out sometimes and that's not good either. Poor impulse control. And, if I am ever infatuated with someone, they will know because at that, I am stuck at the emotional maturity level of a 10-12 year old. 'Gurls (wish I could turn that 'S' around for effect) aren't yucky anymore, but I wanna pull their pigtails because that's the only way I know that I am registering any content with them.'

And, by the way, most men will read anything as some sort of sexual anything.......Can't tell you how much I hate being around a bunch of men and they all start talking at some point like a bad script from 'Porky's'.
"Yeah, I laid about a mile o' pipe in her valley last night....har, har, har.....know whut I mean? Hurr, hur, hurrrrr....."

In most all of the scenarios where this/my thread is discussing women being repelled by me....there are NO men present. It's all moms. These events/meetings/groups happen often, so yes, I'd love to not care and just be happy with who I am (as another poster said). But, there is awhile until I will be done with having to attend them, so yeah, it's an often occurrence, so an often reminder.

Omg! Men are SO much easier for me to relate to. You hit it on the nail, no cattiness or mean girl type behavior. And, again you're right on====> "Only problem is that I have to worry about being hit on." Totally true. And I too, feel like I think more like a man, even though I am very feminine.

Now, if it's a different kind of gathering...say a street gathering, where the husbands are in attendance? I do just fine. I probably talk to the husbands as much as or more than my female neighbors/wives. Which may, consciously or subconsciously tick off the wives...and then maybe that is why THEY shun me! Aaaacccck!

Basic anthropology would dictate that especially if they respond to you. Most men would respond well to a woman who could be 'one of the guys'.

I like women who are able to skirt gender identities, yet be at least a little bit feminine, nevertheless.

gimme a tomboy any day of the week....

Tomboys are cool....especially if they are like the Progressive Insurance Lady.

Yeah...she's really funny too. Have you checked out her videos on youtube? I mean the actress, not the character.

She's really a delightful, cool lady....and would believe different sorts of guys are cool.

She would only be repelled by guys who don't take time with their personal hygiene.

Speaking of which, I've known women that actually prefer a bit of natural 'work' sweat (Not the stinky, nervous sweat) and other 'manly' smells as opposed to the 'metro-sexual' thing.
Had one get aggressive on me when she came home and could smell the left over gas and other oil/engine smells from me trying to work on my car. I mean, really aggressive. Told her that I wanted to shower and was told not to. Shoulda been more mechanically inclined.....may have had a different 'young adulthood'.

Do you think it's the type of women you are needing to interact with? i understand that for stuff for kids, etc. you don't have a choice always of who you hang out with. I have been in gatherings of women where there is a lot of "mommy-blather" and one-upping as to who had the hardest childbirth, whose kids are the awesomest, etc...and i am shut out of these circles much more.

In a group of older ladies of my mother's and my grandmother's generation (I have the opportunity to meet with such a group on occasion) I am a well-loved addition to the group. But these older ladies are past the one-upping, the mommy brigade that gives me hives, and they have mellowed with age and experience.

I think aspies tend to be "old souls" and maybe don't repel so much as we accent what those our age tend not to want to see. My closest friends are either likely on the spectrum or have enough traits of it that they see me as a kindred spirit. This dynamic is not present in large ladies' groups. Large ladies' groups tend to revolve around the expected social patterns and dance of social hierarchy that i find very hard to navigate.

My guess is that you are not so repellent as you are a light bringing out the best and brightest in life--and sometimes the light hurts their eyes. They don't know what to do with it, so they either pretend it's not there or try to put it out.

Where i live, it is brown, dry and dead for the winter...except for bright red berries on some of the underbrush in the woods--it not a holly plant but a similar berry-- i'm not sure what it is. These red berries are absolutely gorgeous and stand out in the brown dead undergrowth. There are also beautiful hues of varying purple thistles...which are also gorgeous against the brown deadness of winter. Watching my aspie kids and taking a step back...i can see how aspies are the bright red berries and purple thistles against the brown deadness that is often the repetitive social interaction of the NT world. We stand out, but we bring life and light and color to that world. Not everyone will appreciate it; but if we weren't there, they would miss the brightness our outlook adds.

I think you are probably ok. I don't think i would worry over much about this, unless you have a real honest friend who says "thus-and-such a mannerism" is a real social handicap. I think it may be that your shining light is hard on their eyes, as much as anything. Just my 2 cents for what it's worth.

I do better with women who are "different", usually ones that are either artsy or tomboyish or very philosophical themselves and who also do not generally it in with other women. The problem is that they are hard to find and don't generally run in my circles.

The "getting along better with guys" issue has always been a problem with me and other girls/women. When I was in elementary school, playing with the boys gave me cooties, which meant the girls wouldn't play with me. When I was in 4th grade, I was the only girl in my class NOT invited to one of the other girls' birthday party, and I was the *only* girl invited to one of the boy's birthday party. That's how it rolls. In high school, it became harder to be friends with the boys, not because *I* had a problem, but it seemed that whole "guys and girls can't be friends without sexual attraction" issue came up.... What a pain! But all the girls knew that I could kind of "roam freely" in boy culture with ease, and I do think that brings up some kind of jealousy.

Now, in mixed company, I almost always talk to the husband as much or more than I talk to the wives. But having friends has become increasingly difficult. I *still* prefer the company of men, but I'm married... So, it's tough to have friends! A single guy would probably still see an issue with sexual attraction and it's not so kosher for a married woman to be hanging with a guy who she's not married to... I wish things were different because I just need more friends. And most women do not cut it! Sorry, but I'm going to be bored.

When my husband was in seminary, I was the *only* wife of all the seminarians we were in church with who wanted to sit around and talk theology and philosophy. While I understand the desire for (a little bit!) of conversation about kids and families and daily life, I would much rather spend the majority of time talking about esoteric things.

Even some guys don't want to talk about that stuff, though I see more willingness among them than among women. I don't know WHY that is...

I don't know what the problem is. I don't know if it is me being an Aspie or just being too smart for my own damn good. But I'm guessing Aspie because I sat in Calculus class with some other girls who seemed more smart than me who were perfectly willing to talk all day about which celebrities were doing whom.

I find most typical women to be very boring, to be honest. Superficial, competitive. Kids, fashion, cooking, gossip, reality tv. That's what they seem to care about. I care about some of these things to an extent, but I prefer to talk about other topics much more.

And since women are naturally more social, they are also more socially complex. There are lots of nuances to their social interactions that just go over my head. It's too much work to keep up with them. And I can't anyway, no matter how hard I try.

See? You and zky seem like you'd be cool and interesting to converse with. Most NT women? Not so much.....as Yigeren says...most, to me, are boring, superficial and love to gossip-which I abhor. The nuances of women go over my head, too! I miss most of the cues, messages and have no desire to one-up them on certain topics where they like to be better. Not only do I suck at social interactions with more than one woman at a time, I dislike it. Sometimes, it can even be torture.

Maybe this (^^^) is something in me that they are picking up on, which turns them off? I consider myself an empath so I can totally pick up on things. Many of the women I usually get repelled by though, seem so superficial that I'd be surprised if they were empathic and picking up my vibes.

What a beautiful way to look at it.
We stand out, but we bring life and light and color to that world. Not everyone will appreciate it; but if we weren't there, they would miss the brightness our outlook adds.

I am definitely an old soul. I love being around older women and it is so much EASIER for me. They are so much more accepting, less complex. Sadly, I don't have any 'real honest friend' who could enlighten me as to my idiosyncrasies. I guess that would be my husband. He is my best friend. But, he loves me the way I am and I don't even know if he'd know what my idiosyncrasies are, to even be able to tell me Ha.

I'm not very good at figuring out what to talk about and tend to be socially awkward, sometimes I say the wrong thing socially. I think MOST women have the cattiness, excluding other women that don't fit in their group and it being like high school as well as this behavior not being outgrown, not all women are like this. There are some that are the exception and not like this rule though. Just my viewpoint.