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Do you find it difficult to carry on everyday conversation

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xboxboy247
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27 Apr 2007, 11:06 pm

To be honest, I find conversation easy.
It's just socilaizing wiht a lot of people that I have the problem with.


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MrSinister
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28 Apr 2007, 6:55 am

xboxboy247 wrote:
To be honest, I find conversation easy.
It's just socilaizing wiht a lot of people that I have the problem with.


Yeah, that's not something I'm comfortable with, a lot of the time. And I seem to periodically want to retreat back into my shell and not socialise at all.

In fact, I'm getting twinges of that now as regards the Tuesday night club I attend. I'm really feeling the urge to pull away and be by myself, like muscle tearing off a bone - I hope I don't give in to them, but there may come a point where they become too strong to ignore :(


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methinks
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28 Apr 2007, 9:57 am

I'm terrible with small talk,don't "get it" or like it,but I've learned to occasionally compensate by relating in ways I find interesting:if I absolutely must converse in an uncomfortable context,after the initial chit-chat appetizer,I ask about a person's impersonal interests such as pets,avocations,travel.I act like my socially-adept father and lead the conversation politely and neutrally.Or I ask personal(and polite)questions about a person's loves,hopes,dreams and intellectualize their story,try to understand them.Hopefully,I can then find a way to relate to them in some personal way.This kind of personal attention is either appreciated or it is unnerving enough to keep them at bay.

Of course,the most common scenario is that I simply walk away from a stilted conversation with my foot in my mouth.I do have a better sense of humour about it than I once did,so I guess that resembles "progress".Still,I get quite rattled by interaction and avoid at all costs.

Oddly,I sometimes find fleeting pleasantries much easier with strangers than chit-chat with aquaintances.I suppose because I can briefly play a socially acceptable role without any further obligations.I can "pass" as "normal" and get through the gauntlet fast.



xboxboy247
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28 Apr 2007, 2:27 pm

methinks wrote:
I'm terrible with small talk,don't "get it" or like it,but I've learned to occasionally compensate by relating in ways I find interesting:if I absolutely must converse in an uncomfortable context,after the initial chit-chat appetizer,I ask about a person's impersonal interests such as pets,avocations,travel.I act like my socially-adept father and lead the conversation politely and neutrally.Or I ask personal(and polite)questions about a person's loves,hopes,dreams and intellectualize their story,try to understand them.Hopefully,I can then find a way to relate to them in some personal way.This kind of personal attention is either appreciated or it is unnerving enough to keep them at bay.

Of course,the most common scenario is that I simply walk away from a stilted conversation with my foot in my mouth.I do have a better sense of humour about it than I once did,so I guess that resembles "progress".Still,I get quite rattled by interaction and avoid at all costs.

Oddly,I sometimes find fleeting pleasantries much easier with strangers than chit-chat with aquaintances.I suppose because I can briefly play a socially acceptable role without any further obligations.I can "pass" as "normal" and get through the gauntlet fast.


That perfectly describes me.
I'm the guy that you talk to for a few minutes whenever no one is around and then when someone better comes around you tell me to go away.


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methinks
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28 Apr 2007, 4:14 pm

xboxboy247 wrote:
methinks wrote:
I'm terrible with small talk,don't "get it" or like it,but I've learned to occasionally compensate by relating in ways I find interesting:if I absolutely must converse in an uncomfortable context,after the initial chit-chat appetizer,I ask about a person's impersonal interests such as pets,avocations,travel.I act like my socially-adept father and lead the conversation politely and neutrally.Or I ask personal(and polite)questions about a person's loves,hopes,dreams and intellectualize their story,try to understand them.Hopefully,I can then find a way to relate to them in some personal way.This kind of personal attention is either appreciated or it is unnerving enough to keep them at bay.

Of course,the most common scenario is that I simply walk away from a stilted conversation with my foot in my mouth.I do have a better sense of humour about it than I once did,so I guess that resembles "progress".Still,I get quite rattled by interaction and avoid at all costs.

Oddly,I sometimes find fleeting pleasantries much easier with strangers than chit-chat with aquaintances.I suppose because I can briefly play a socially acceptable role without any further obligations.I can "pass" as "normal" and get through the gauntlet fast.


That perfectly describes me.
I'm the guy that you talk to for a few minutes whenever no one is around and then when someone better comes around you tell me to go away.


For better of worse,I'm actually able to appear friendlier than I feel.I usually weasel out of a converation long before I can be told to go away!Don't get me wrong,if the planets are aligned,and I meet someone who is interesting and honest,I can enjoy a good conversation.But it's not often and I loathe more than a small degree of talking-for-the-sake-of-it.Talk needs to be creative or interesting,or I'm at a loss for relating.

jeez,that sounds pompous,and I don't mean it to.I just have limited social energy and chit-chat drains it fast.



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30 Apr 2007, 4:58 pm

I guess I'm lucky, because I do fine in conversation. Though I do get nervous when approaching or being approached by someone attempting to make conversation. I prefer just avoiding people unless necessary.


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xboxboy247
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30 Apr 2007, 8:47 pm

Ramsus wrote:
I guess I'm lucky, because I do fine in conversation. Though I do get nervous when approaching or being approached by someone attempting to make conversation. I prefer just avoiding people unless necessary.


Same here.


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30 Apr 2007, 9:30 pm

I'm not the best at conversation, either.



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30 Apr 2007, 10:43 pm

TellerStar wrote:
I can talk to adults usually fine because I talk about politics, news, science, music, etc. But people my own age often only talk about fashion, celebraties and things I don't even know anything about so I never know how to join in. If I do ever go out with someone I know I tend to go to the cinema because then you don't have to chat. Unless it's an adult then I like talking.


Wow!! !! This was me when I was young, I could talk to adults but not kids my own age. I always figured it was because I was around adults more than kids. (My elementary class was very unique because we didn't care for pop culture that much.) Even now, I'm in college and find that I can talk to the professor when other students can't and I don't find it weird that I can carry-on conversations with them much easier than college students.

Side note: I'm ok with conversations because I try to find something in common like school, work, something they like, etc. After that, I have no problem, especially when it's right before class. However, I do have a problem with starting a conversation and keeping going if I have nothing in common, or there are other people around. Most of the time I listen and only talk when I have something to say.



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01 May 2007, 12:56 am

I rarely initiate social conversation, I usually only talk if I need to tell or ask the other person something related to the task at hand. If the other person initiates a conversation I'm usually happy to talk, but I'm no good at maintaining a conversation either so the other person has to keep it going, otherwise it turns into awkward silence pretty fast.



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01 May 2007, 9:38 am

Only when I am drunk....usually....am i able to feel comfortable carrying on a converstion...i even feel uncomfortable having conversations with my parents and people I see evry day.
The only person I really feel comfortable having conversations with is my boyfriend, because we have a comfortable silly sort of banter between us..but normal conversations with other people make me sort of tense.



invivo
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01 May 2007, 11:42 am

I just find people bothersome, there is nothing to talk about, when someone tries talking to me, I wanna go on