VisInsita wrote:
It's not that I don't mind being in my own company, but why I've propably become so conscious of this is that it is done pretty much only when a group, let's say a group of three from another department, enters the cafeteria, whereas when an individual member of the same group enters alone, the person comes to sit with me.
So I was wondering if others perceive this sort of a behavior similarly. I've started to think it must be some sort of power play based on exclusion (bullying). Because most groups and males don't do it in my case (I am a female) and neither do the same people individually.
Okay, I understand what's going on. It's not bullying, it's groupthink. If they're would sit next to you while their friends aren't around, than it means in the very least they don't mind sitting with you, so you could try asking if you can sit next to them if you want. Chances are they'll be willing. What's going on is the people were planning on initially sitting by themselves or something like that, but sometimes they see you sitting alone, and decide to sit with you instead. It's harder for a group of people to change plans like that than a single person, as everyone would need to change their mind. All the other people are concerned about what the other people in the group are thinking, and thus act differently together than they would act alone. So it's not so much that they are trying to snub you, but they are trying to not disappoint the rest of the group by changing their plans. And no, autistic people aren't immune to groupthink either as getting rid of it requires lots of communication, though they'd probably be more willing to be the boy to call out the emperor's nudity and thus change the trajectory of the group.