"I probably won't call you because I have a boyfriend.&

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Exactly.
i assumed you were a guy before posting ( dunno why).
But ive been hit on twice in the last ten years.
Girls are hit on all the time ( and from an early age). So learn mechanisms to deal with it.
Guys must break through this shield to have any luck ( mentioning bfs is typical shield).
If we gave up right there at the first sign of resistance, we would never have any luck.
I am not saying turn into a stalker, but men must learn how to deal with the 'shield'.

Um... the "shield" as you put it is put up by women for a reason. It means she isn't interested in you. When will guys ever understand pestering a woman will not result in her finally breaking down and dating you? No really does mean NO.

Hey,folks,I realize on reflection that I was posting way out of context,and we're talking about different kinds of "friends" and social situations,and likely different cultures.Dating life,especially when you're young,has it's own very competitive and hormonally charged rules.I stand by what I said,but that's a whole nother converation for another time and place.Sorry to isolate your thoughts for the sake of my vent,and sorry to interefere with the topic at hand.

This is not true at all. For an aspie girl, then you may be right. But it really means she does not want to feel like a slag.
It's not question of breaking down any shield, more a question of playing the game which NT society has created..
In NT society if you are female and sleep with loads of men, then you get bad reputation.

There's a difference between, "NO, you are not having my number" and "errrr, what would my boyfriend think?." (The other option of giving numbers out to anyone who is mildly interested, leads to bad reputation.)

I think there is a difference between sleeping and beeing friends with.

Maybe it's only cultural issue... i noticed that NT girls have a lots of male friend even if they're taken and nobody cares. But it may be different in different groups and societies.

You may be right.I was never in a "dating scene" so I admit I'm oblivious to the true essense of this thread.I developed relationships through friends,most of whom were creative or unconventional in some ways.And,while gender was recognized,it wasn't unusual to become friends with a friend's girlfriend or her friends,if there was a friendship to be had,and spend time and keep in touch(as much as I'm inclined to spend time or correspond with anyone).

And I met people that way,where we had personal things in common,rather than trying to meet a mate.That eventually extended to my wife.We were friendly aquaintances for years before we became a couple.

I was as clueless as clueless gets whenever I was in a mating situation.I was liked,but people had to tell me when I was being hit on,so I doubt I ever would've met someone in a traditional way.I was satisfied having a girlfriend or affair here and there,but I never needed to be a "player".

And I know there were jealousies between some people,but I'm sort of impatient and even "blind" to certain strains of drama,so I'm sure it's easy for me to overlook some of those realities.

I do believe men and women can be friends,but this is a case of me posting and then later comprehending the full nature of the thread ,which I think is about forcing friendships and not taking hints,and making people uncomfortable in the process.Those things can betray selfish intentions.I've seen friends get hurt that way so,yes,if a girl says "no dice" respect that and move on.

In response to a few things...

1) I definately pay attention to whether or not I'm bothering someone--sometimes I even ask to make sure. If I'm making someone laugh, and they're laughing with me, and we have good chemistry and both seem to be enjoying the conversation, then I assume that I'm not bothering her--especially not if she's opening up and telling me things without me asking about them, bringing up conversations...if I'm the only one who's really talking, I notice.

2) I'd try being friends with more guys, but I just don't get along with them. I'm too feminine. I prefer romance to sex, I don't like beer or sports or parties, I love music and art...hell, most think I'm gay.

3) My only real-life friends are all females. And they have boyfriends. And they're all fine with me seeing movies with them, because they know I'm just trying to be friends.

4) I try not to pester. Unfortunately, this is part of the reason why I never get ANY phone calls.

5) I'm much more willing to give out my email or IM or MySpace or something. I don't like phones. Unfortunately, not everybody HAS IM or MySpace.

6) I don't like being the one to call someone, because anytime that's been the case then I was always the one calling and never getting calls. I never knew if the other person gave a s**t, and usually they didn't--having them call you is a way to test that. Also, I don't feel right asking for someone's number--they'll give it willingly if I give them mine. Then there's the little matter of me always calling at the worst times for some reason.

Of course, but it depends how old you are.
After a certain age asking a girl for a number means that sex is on the menu.
Sooner or later.

3. This is good, let them know you are available to their single female friends. Many women like playing match-makers.

6. Both these two issues you need to get over. You call them first. Once you have been friends for a while, then this may change. But initially, the male does the work.
I have already explained why you will not get a number without asking. The purpose of getting the number is to set up the next meet. So if you have already set up a next meeting (eg. movie or concert), then they may give it willingly.

email, IMs and messengers are okay. If it is easier to get an email addy, then do that.
But you don't want to get stuck on messenger and never seeing them. You want to always be progressing. So we have..

Find female > get email > (phone: optional but considered 'normal') > set up meet > date >

then you get on to the good stuff. ^ this is the boring part.

Uh. I didn't have a problem with this.
I mean, I'd pretty much expect to
know the guy, but anything more
would seem far too controlling
for even me. There's a matter of
trust involved. I didn't let her
restrict my choice of friends, and
wouldn't have expected to have
some different rules apply.

Not often for me. Look, we're not talking
about someone you pick up at a bar here
(and even meeting someone at a bar MIGHT
not require this assumption). Usually, if I ask
for someone's number, it's for a pretty specific
reason - like a project or some mutual interest.

When a guy asks a woman for a number, then sex is on the agenda.
It might not be on your mind. But will be on hers.
Of course, there are exceptions like work projects.
Things of mutual interest are merely an excuse to spend time together, required to get the sex later. When you are already friends it may be different.
But if you ask someone you hardly know to spend time with you, it's unlikely that you do not want to do things to them.

Yes and no. Depends on how rarefied one's area of
interest is. If there are very few people interested
in a subject that you share a great interest with a
given person, I see no problem at all.

One way around this, is to become friends with the
couple, rather than dealing with just the female. This
has certainly worked out alright for me, at times.

Sex will still be on the menu. This is why you must keep your house in order all the time.

Not unless there's some sort of physical
attraction - at least for me. And then it's
going to be on the menu anyhow, as you
put it. Whether it gets ordered, is a completely
different issue. I've been in mutually loving
relationships where due to fidelity issues
sex was not an option.