Why do I have to always make the first move?

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Don't let it frustrate you to much, others can see that frustration and it makes you look needy and thats a turn off to most people, or even for some a sign that your open to being used. women like men that knows what they want and so will make the first move, that confidence. just keep trying and don't let it get you down, its a numbers game. just look more in places where you have your own interests so you can find things in common to talk about.

It does suck, but I find it useful to very subtly reach out first in such a way that forces the burden of conversation onto the other person. Questions and compliments are especially effective for this, things along the lines of "nice shoes, where did you get them?" or "that food looks good, how is it?", then just sit back and allow them to speak, occasionally offering gestures of agreement or follow up questions that encourage them to speak more. I've made a few acquaintances that way, and if nothing else, you might still have a nice chat (or find a fun new clothing store or food place). It may be hard at first but practice makes perfect!

Sorry if I am misunderstanding but despite being told not to give up, it looks like you are also telling me it's a lost cause to keep trying since most people already have a "circle".

It's not a lost cause.
Most people already have a circle.
True enough.
That said ...
Not all do.
Yes, it is a challenge.
I wish you the best ...

It's not a "lost cause."

Many friends happen to be made when people are older.

I don't have many friends from my younger days at all.

Honestly I feel like people do sometimes make 'the first move' but it's just my cluelessness, paranoia, and social anxiety that more prevents me from being able to make connections with other people. I feel like if I can't trust myself socially then trusting other people seems almost out of the question. I am an avoidant person, that is my nature and fighting against that is a constant struggle.

That's how I predicted that I would lost my best friend from college (she 'found her feet with friends' and I was totally lost).
I've also observed that making that first move is hit-or-miss (usually a miss). The compliment or other conversation starter often winds up getting one-word responses or other "I'm not interested, now buzz off" cues.

Unfortunately, things aren't getting better for me. I try to go to places that are meant to be social but others never initiate conversation with me unless I say something and the conversation won't last. Even when I tell the other person it was nice to meet them, they don't want to keep in touch.

Most people size up a room first to identify who the popular people are and than try to connect. People do this without thinking. If you were a popular person in other places, these people will pick up on that and include you. It will flow naturally. If you're like me, you'll be dropped as soon as they see you are not like them.

This happens even in churches.

I'm a bit dubious about that. What's your proof?

However, I might give it a go. Popular people are probably good at small talk, so they can do all the talking, so it might make it easier on me.

Not everyone is in need of friends.

If you are you had better do what you can.

If you want to have a friend you have to be a friend too.

I've had a think about this because it's a new idea to me and I have come to the conclusions that people look for people who are like themselves. If someone is not shy and geeky they probably aren't immediately drawn to the shy geeky types and will head over to speak to the people who are more like them. NTs are in the majority, so more will be drawn to each other than be drawn to us.

I don't think that they do it out of maliciousness. I think it's just subconscious. I'm not NT, but even I find it hard to be drawn to people I have nothing in common with. I try, but some people just wind me up the wrong way.

I try not to take offence if someone doesn't want to be my friend. Why should I make them hang out with me if they don't really like me. I'd rather not have pity friends.

Social people who are non-judgemental, NT or otherwise, are the ones to go for. In my experience, the aspie men who did well, and some very well - were very open-minded and didn't always have a particular "type". And they were social and almost never complained about other people, and never about women. I'd never date an unsociable guy again. I've been there, done that, and it never ended well.

That sounds like useful advice. I'm going to try that next time I go somewhere that has people. I know people love compliments and talking about themselves.

Don't give up in making friends, but at the same time, you don't need to hunt out people with the intent of just making friends.

Do whatever you want to do, say go to a party, or simply go out and buy some stuff from the shops, any public places or situations will enable you to interact with people. Each interaction has a chance of developing into at least a slight friendship, as among all the billions of people on this earth, at least someone else wants to make another friend, and at least some of those people share interests with you. Then as well, you don't get the negative feeling from rejection, you just feel like you've got a bit of a bonus if you have made a friend. Inevitably, it won't give you hundreds of friends, but I doubt NT's really have as many friends as they claim to. I suspect like many aspects of life, they exaggerate a lot. Just look at how many of these so-called "friends" manage to fall out over tiny little matters.