I feel like I'm half human

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Philosophy's pretty cool.

Have you read any thing by Socrates (as recorded by Plato)?

Any other philosophers you like?

I know of socrates, yeah. Interesting figure.

I like camut, Sartre, those french guys. Kant is also cool.

I like Camus, too. Though I'm not really of an Existentialist mindset.

I believe in lots of Aristotle's notions. He was a very practical sort.

Plato's Republic is a Utopia---but it would be nice if some of its precepts were adopted by governments.

Are you feeling a little better?

You realized that you screwed up and you are trying to fix and improve yourself. That's really impressive for somebody your age to think about and be genuinely motivated by. I think the fact that you question yourself and have a yearning to do what you think is right is in fact proof that you are on the right track. You just need good friends and positive influences to keep you going straight.

Your friend L sounds like a good guy who is willing to tell you honestly when you are behaving poorly. I had a friend like that myself growing up and it was invaluable (although he was much more impolite and rude). If you feel like you screwed up thats' probably a sign that you should follow up with a trusted friend to get their opinion. It's really helpful to get another person's view on the matter because sometimes you don't focus on or notice the things that they would.

This is one of the most valuable of all social skills in my opinion because it allows you to expand and strengthen your other ones by merely thinking or attempting to see things through other people's perspectives.

That doesn't sound very sociopathic. Control, in and of itself, doesn't make you a sociopath. I can understand why you'd want to fully direct the game and characters, sort of like a screenwriter directing a movie. As a player, I can also see how this wouldn't be as fun as getting some leeway for creative improvisation.

You're human, so, as a human, what would you want to happen next? Since your friend might still be on board, would you want to change your MO and try again? Would you also be open to another DM, should the other players want that? Or maybe alternating DMs?

It's really impressive that you're taking the time, and that you have the strength, to be introspective.