Do you understand flirting?

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You sound exactly like me.

Yes, i just saw your other post about being a good listener....that's me too. Although with friends I end up taking turns, like, today I'm the topic, next time it's you....or half the conversation is mine and half is yours. I solve people's problems, and they explain other people's motives, so it's a win-win. It requires a certain flexibility on their part, though.

I'm actually like that with my paid friend (she is paid a little money from the government to spend some time with me every two weeks) I don't have any real friends. Sometimes she has a big need to talk, and I'm ok with being the listener. I like it, because I can see she feels better afterwards. Other times it's the other way around. Maybe I have more to give to her, because she gives me so much in return.

I'm sorry, this is off topic!

Gaaah......yes, and it's my fault. Will stop derailing after this post, scout's honor!

^... And if I then had said something like: " Yeah, me too! I promise.. " It could have been interpreted as me flirting, if underwater was a guy. when in reallity it was just me jokeing around.

There back on topic!

Nice one! Very elegant!

I can't stand flirts. I think that they are selfish pigs.

Why show attention to someone just so that you can feel good? Why make them feel that they are special to you when they are not? Why make someone feel that you have romantic interest in them when you do not?

Flirting hurts other people. Flirts don't care about that. They just do it for their own selfish gratification and then why the poor sap who believes their flirting is based on genuine feeling express a real interest to take things further, the flirt, like the pig he is says, "oh you misunderstood, it didn't mean anything. We're just friends."

The he asks someone else out instead.

^ in my experience and observations...most flirts do it because they do have a legitimate interest in the other person, but they have their reasons to communicate it through flirts and not in more direct ways. (a big part of flirting is nuance and subtlety, IMO)

but it may be a different game entirely among older folks.

i'm sorry you were hurt, if that's based on something that happened to you. i want to avoid coming off that way, myself.

"paid friend"....wha? how on earth does that work?

i hope she has grown to enjoy your company even without the money incentive?

i have to wonder how many paid people, in those situations, stay because they truly appreciate the other person, and aren't just doing it for the other reward.

"Paid friend" is just an expression I use. Maybe "support person" is better to say. If you have disabilities physical or psychological or mental illnes (there might be other things too), that makes you lonely, or in need for a little assistanse, you can fill out an application. Then if you meet the criteria for this program, you will meet with someone (in the government) and have an interview. Based on that interview, this person will try and find a "support person" (from their list) who they think will be a good match for you. This can take quite some time. I tried two other, before I ended up with Anne, who I have known for over seven years now.

Yes, most people I think who "work" as a "support person" do it for ideological reasons then for the money, as there is very little money in it. I think many do it because they them selves feel better when they help someone else. One of the ones I tried, but didn't end up with, had almost as much psychological problems as me In fact I know there are people on the spectrum who are "support persons". Anne also has a fulltime job. She meets me for three hours every two weeks. I'm seing her today actually, and we are going to the grocery to buy ingredients, then we are making dinner (We like trying out new dishes)

She says she will probably be my support person untill she is in the grave

Yeah ie had some bad experiences with flirts just doing it for the attention and not really being interested I going out with me.

Wat till you get older and your friends are all married and their partners start flirting with you. I hate that.

Ouch! That's unspeakable.

Flirting is "an oblique display of romantic interest." You say something or do something that implies romantic interest without overtly stating it. It can be verbal, like "Yeah, kissing in the rain is the best." Or it could be physical, like stealing one of their french fries. Or if you want to pull out the big guns, you can throw in some mixed signals and say, "You're cute when you're mad." Teasing is common form of flirting, and pickup artists swear by it, though I've had only moderate luck with it.

I've studied a lot of men's dating advice, and these flirting techniques do work for getting someone interested. But I've found, as you might have guessed, flirting isn't enough to get someone to stick around long-term.

Flirting is fun and all, but in a way, it's a bunch of teenage stuff. I've come to believe that it's better to just tell someone you think they're attractive.

This is a good post. If you just flirt, but don't attempt to make it more clear that you want more then the othet person has no way of knowing that this isn't just a little fun non serious flirtation. And will move on to something more serious with someone else or just give up.

Flirting is sometimes "testing the waters".
If a guy flirts a girl, but she doesn't flirt back or doesn't show any kind of interest (ie. initiating contact sometimes) then the guy would move to someone else who does.

oh! i think i get it now.

dunno, i don't feel comfortable in those kinds of relationships myself, but i think it's great you can get over that. i was in a similar kind of relationship back when i was 17, and i couldn't shake the feeling of artificiality no matter how hard i (we) tried. granted, he was quite a bit older than me. haven't seen him in over a year. hope i don't run into him, i imagine it would be very awkward.

maybe what you have is only possible in a smaller country like norway. can't imagine that happening here.

i hope those dishes you made left you both satisfied. (:

I'm not very good with flirting wherein, I tend not to make minute sexual nuances cause, I tend to be more reserved and profound about presenting such.