ZachGoodwin wrote:
I think I know what the solution is. You need to choose simple and direct words that when fused together, sound like what you meant to say. Big, complicated, and unclear words confuse people. Words with double meanings also confuse people. If you talk to the other person like an adult there will be less issues. Tell yourself in your head what you are about to tell to the other person. Think about what you were about to say to other people. If what you were about to say feels the same in the way you meant it, then the other person can understand what you were talking about and what your feeling.
Think before you say.
That might work, but I've done similar and after a while of talking simply, people begin to treat me as if I'm an idiot.
I've said things as an adult, and it does not matter, people often take things the wrong way or personally.
They will read into things you're saying, not tell you what they think, then turn around and begin to hate you.
Alternately they can have coloured perceptions of you based on nasty gossip/rumours.
Oddly, getting angry with people when they openly misinterpret what I've said, actually helps.
Funny thing is putting people in their place when they are treating you with false perceptions, or reading into conversations - actually gets respect. This works better if others are present, as they can back your reputation up with good gossip - especially if the person does the same things to other people.
Not that I bother, but sometimes I blow up if people are being overly sensitive or mean towards me.
Fireblossom wrote:
Are you sure about the first part? I mean I know all the books and professionals tend to say that, but from my personal experience I'd say that NTs aren't any better at understanding people in different situations than aspies.
THIS IS TRUE.
I've seen NT's misinterpret other NT's, or just completely ignore what was actually said, and translate it into a biase that is in their mind. For instance, they think the person is racist, so everything that is said that can be interpreted as negative/insult, IS made into a "Racist" comment!!
honeymiel wrote:
I've done this so many times that I just refuse to let my guard down around people until I know them very well. I separate people into my "in-group" which is very small (a few family members, boyfriend and a few friends who understand my diagnosis), and then "everyone else"
For most people who are in the "everyone else" group, I use what I would think of as social scripting. I think of myself more like a robot/computer than a human being who is capable/desiring of building a deeper relationship with these people.
(e.g.)
Input: I hear distress from someone who has to put their horse down
Automatic output: "I'm so sorry" or "I feel awful for you" or "Are you okay?"
You are very clever, that is a good tactic.
I simply do this for 99.9% of people these days.
19 Aug 2017, 2:26 am
