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Having only same sex friends

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Mapofsteel
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13 Jun 2018, 11:01 am

I did get your PM, upfrommarshes.



karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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13 Jun 2018, 5:29 pm

So, christianity-based Sharia Law is what you're saying. Well, that's alright then.

:lol:



jrjones9933
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14 Jun 2018, 5:49 pm

Out of curiosity, could you make friends with trans men?


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The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Jun 2018, 6:28 pm

I think preemptively deciding that you don't want to be friends with someone purely because of their gender is a little bit silly. To say that you generally prefer male friends, and have found you're generally more comfortable with a group of guys is reasonable, but to then decide that you don't want to be friends with anyone who's female is a bit of a stretch imo.



Mapofsteel
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15 Jun 2018, 7:53 am

jrjones9933 wrote:
Out of curiosity, could you make friends with trans men?


No, because I believe that transgender is immoral and unnatural, and I believe that gender is determined at birth and cannot be changed.



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15 Jun 2018, 9:54 am

I think I have more opposite sex friends than same sex friends.


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karathraceandherspecialdestiny
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15 Jun 2018, 1:45 pm

Mapofsteel wrote:
jrjones9933 wrote:
Out of curiosity, could you make friends with trans men?


No, because I believe that transgender is immoral and unnatural, and I believe that gender is determined at birth and cannot be changed.


Of course you do, I'm sure Jesus told you that personally that he thinks those transgender people are unnatural.

Yay fundies! :roll:



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15 Jun 2018, 5:27 pm

Mapofsteel wrote:
It’s a combination of the way I was brought up along with my Asperger’s black and white way of thinking. I was raised in a conservative Christian home, and I also went on spiritual retreats where they emphasized the difference between boys and girls, men and women and the importantance if waiting until marriage for sex. And I interpreted all this to mean that it is wrong to have friends of the opposite sex, and it also made me uncomfortable dealing with anyone that has friends of the opposite sex.

So you realise that your viewpoint is the result of ultra-conservative teachings rather than some objective truth. Now you are free to make up your own mind about it, and change your interpretations if you want to.



jrjones9933
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15 Jun 2018, 9:32 pm

I worry that if you go looking for people with whom to associate on the basis of these criteria, that you may find people who would pretend to befriend you in order to exploit you. We face an increased risk of that, being on the Autism spectrum. Despite the fact that you and I find each other quite repugnant, I wouldn't want harm to come to you on the basis of your disability.

If we met, and you said the things you say here, I might feel inclined to punch you in the nose on that basis, but I don't want to see you get exploited. Not just for your sake, but for the sake of the harm you might do to society if you got further radicalized. We don't intend to change, and you will have to find a way to get over it.


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Mapofsteel
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17 Jul 2018, 2:08 pm

jrjones9933 wrote:
I worry that if you go looking for people with whom to associate on the basis of these criteria, that you may find people who would pretend to befriend you in order to exploit you. We face an increased risk of that, being on the Autism spectrum. Despite the fact that you and I find each other quite repugnant, I wouldn't want harm to come to you on the basis of your disability.

If we met, and you said the things you say here, I might feel inclined to punch you in the nose on that basis, but I don't want to see you get exploited. Not just for your sake, but for the sake of the harm you might do to society if you got further radicalized. We don't intend to change, and you will have to find a way to get over it.


Well, do you have any ideas as to how I can change my agenda so that the people I try to be friends with will indeed be true legitimate friends and not people who pretend to befriend us for the purpose of exploiting us? I have no idea what to look for in a legitimate friend, to tell you the truth.



superaliengirl
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17 Jul 2018, 2:19 pm

I pretty much only have opposite sex friends instead. It does feel restrictive but most other women don't seem to get me for some reason and I guess I can be pretty boyish in the way I talk? And not very big on gossiping, talking about men, fashion etc. :roll: I'd rather even talk about video games.

I think that if you're happy with the friends you got, why worry?... Nothing wrong with it if it works for you, you can't nor should force yourself to hang out with people based on something as silly as their gender. If you make good friends and have fun together then what else do you need?

Though if you think you're missing out on something... Try to make at least one same sex friend and see what it's like, see if you get along and if it feels comfortable but if I was happy the way things were I wouldn't bother.



jrjones9933
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17 Jul 2018, 6:42 pm

Mapofsteel wrote:
jrjones9933 wrote:
I worry that if you go looking for people with whom to associate on the basis of these criteria, that you may find people who would pretend to befriend you in order to exploit you. We face an increased risk of that, being on the Autism spectrum. Despite the fact that you and I find each other quite repugnant, I wouldn't want harm to come to you on the basis of your disability.

If we met, and you said the things you say here, I might feel inclined to punch you in the nose on that basis, but I don't want to see you get exploited. Not just for your sake, but for the sake of the harm you might do to society if you got further radicalized. We don't intend to change, and you will have to find a way to get over it.


Well, do you have any ideas as to how I can change my agenda so that the people I try to be friends with will indeed be true legitimate friends and not people who pretend to befriend us for the purpose of exploiting us? I have no idea what to look for in a legitimate friend, to tell you the truth.

Expect uncertainty. Learn to appreciate shades of grey. Make sure you know whether you're looking at a map, or looking at the landscape.

Autistic people can do well at cost/benefit analysis objectively, but for those tendencies. We want to believe that we can know what to expect, and we tend to start our adult lives with an over-reliance on dualistic categories.


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LoneLoyalWolf
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17 Jul 2018, 7:54 pm

Mapofsteel wrote:
Is there anything wrong with having and wanting same sex friends but neither having nor wanting opposite sex friends?

It's your life.


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17 Jul 2018, 10:40 pm

I think for most, myself included, it can depend on your position in life; namely whether you're single or married. Perhaps I'm traditional in my thinking, but I would not find having a close female friend to be appropriate nor would my wife find having a close male friend to be appropriate for the same reason.



whatamievendoing
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19 Jul 2018, 3:54 am

Magna wrote:
Perhaps I'm traditional in my thinking, but I would not find having a close female friend to be appropriate nor would my wife find having a close male friend to be appropriate for the same reason.


Unnecessarily traditional, if you'll allow me to say.

It's perfectly okay for a married person to have close friends of the opposite sex. My mother, who's been married to my father for 27 years, still has male friends, some of which she's known since her teen years. If I ended up getting married at any point, I certainly wouldn't tell all my female friends that I can't be friends with them anymore. That doesn't make sense to me.


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jrjones9933
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19 Jul 2018, 10:17 am

Research in social psychology suggests that some people tend to prefer traditions, and others prefer novelty. The first group has recently lost the ability to impose their will on the second group. They mad.


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