Not Interested in Guessing Games

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Unfortunately, they are looking like a jerk for being passive aggressive and leading the person along which is very mean. This was true in the case of my childhood friend who I described earlier when she and her mother called me up but kept leading me on.

Let me tell you of some others examples of why guessing games can look like jerks:
1. Junior prom - Female friend
A. When I was in high school, I couldn't find a date to the prom so I opted to do a girl's night out at the prom instead so I asked one girl and she said: "Alright, I'll talk to my mom and maybe we can go dress shopping."
B. I would call her to talk and she kept brushing me off with "I can't talk right now I have to do such and such."
(In reality, she didn't want to go because at that time the LGBT movement was more hidden than it is now and she didn't want to look like we were as a gay couple along with feeling insecure about herself. So she got a date and lied to me about me going with a group of the couple as the 5th wheel in a rented limo)

2. Mixed messages on prom groups
1. I went to talk to the person about the limo who told me that though he promised I could go with, he had to break that promise because his mother didn't feel like dealing with my hyperactivity because she was under lots of stress being that he was hyper himself. He also said there was no limo because his parents said "No" so his parents were driving them
I found out later that his girlfriend's mother drove the two couples to everything and he didn't want me there because I was jealous of his girlfriend and wanted to be it instead of her.

3. Another Aspie who I liked ignored me and talked to another close friend of mine at the time because disliked me
A. When I called him out he compared me to her because she was easier to talk to and that he was willing to give me another chance
B. He often often refused to hang out because of his depression, sleep schedule, my voice was hard on his ears

In truth he didn't like he because I was too hyper for him and talked too much or so he told other people behind my back.

Guessing games are a passive aggressive unwritten social rule where someone is not interested in you or you did something that bothers them.
Examples:
1. The other party doesn't ever have time for you "Unfortunately I am booked this weekend. I have a soccer game to attend for my son and I can't afford to attend the aquarium right now." Then you find out they made time for everyone else by doing the aquarium with them.
2. Someone makes plans with you but constantly bails by crying wolf - "Oh man my stomach hurts tonight so I am going to have to cancel our plans." Then you find out they went out with a guy because they are afraid you will get jealous
3. They ignore you on Facebook and other forms of social media but when confronted it's "I am not big on social media." You notice you talk to everyone else
4. They invite everyone but you to a party and give you an excuse that the party was last minute and they forgot to invite you and then you find out from others that your "Friend" planned this party months ago.
5. They gerbil you "Can you call me back in such minutes? I have such and such to do."
6. Everyone but you are always invited and they boast about it to your face afterward, "Hey girlfriend I had the most amazing weekend. I and the four of our friends went to see the play, Hamilton. When you tell them that you were interested it was,"Well you had to work" or "I didn't think you liked plays."
7. They talk about inviting everyone but you and make excuses like "You aren't going to like what they do."

Summer twilight:
Does not sound like a guessing game. Seems like you already know what they think of you.
I hope all your personal interactions are not like that.
Also sounds like you have pretty good coping skills: "I dont have a date so I will take a friend" ,etc

When I read the OP I originally actually thought guessing games were questions where you had to guess like "Guess what I did today" or "Guess who called me"

During my teens and twenties I was a bit more naive when it came to interacting with people and I just had other people point things point things out in terms of hints.

For instance, when someone wasn't interested they would make excuses and lead me around rather than be honest and I would take that seriously.
1. Such as the case with my peers and Jr. Prom and I waiting for her to call me back
2. When it came to calling that ex-friend I took that seriously when she kept asking to call her back in the next 5 minutes.

I have since learned when someone is not interested but I don't let those people get away with guessing games because I am so outspoken it's not even funny.

All those things have been done to me. You just got to love how people claim to not be on Facebook much, but yet they are liking and commenting on other people's posts all the time. Another one is when they tell you they are broke, but they are going out to eat with other people all the time or always going to out of town functions.

I can't stand it when people go hot and cold on me. One minute they are nice to me and the next minute they are distant and ignore me. It's like make up your mind about your feelings toward me.

The ones that make me mad are:
1. People who make an excuse for why you aren't invited. "You aren't going to like what we do" or "You don't like doing this activity." "You don't drink."
2. When people make excuses for their behavior such as a former boss who has a severely autistic son but she couldn't seem to allow me into her circle which she was too proud to admit that she was wrong.
1. She would invite every other woman who worked in the warehouse to out to lunch and shopping but me and it was
A. Well you work part time and go home by the time we go out
B. You are more than welcome to eat the pizza that I bring for everyone to eat
2. She made time for everyone else in that warehouse if they got married, left the job and got them gifts while I got nothing from her or anyone else in that warehouse when I invited her to my housewarming party. It was:
A. You live too far away and I don't like driving to events too far from home - I lived 30 minutes away work

When she found out how I was hurt and angry with her for showing partiality, she threw a hissy fit in front of my job coach for "Gossiping" about her and her family to other people. Yet, she gossiped all the time and was very mean.

But these same jerks who use the guessing games will actually ask why I don't stay in touch. Like Elaine said, hot and cold.

They also get mad when you drop them as a friend because you are at the bottom of their lists. When you call them out they:
1. Get defensive and say you are making childish accusation - "I don't appreciate this because I have a really busy schedule and I work my butt off."
2. They use passive aggression - "I am sorry I haven't been a good friend to you but I always have something come up and I never meant to hurt you. I was planning on inviting you to a movie this weekend but I forgot I made plans with my friend who was coming into town. We'll do it next weekend." Next weekend comes around and it's "I have to clean my house."

At my age, I don't care anymore what people think when I set boundaries.

When people say they miss me, but they don't bother to check in on me even though they know my contact information. Or they pepper me with complements that they don't mean. I would keep in touch with people if they didn't ignore my texts or ignore me on social media.

When people act like they are the only ones who are busy and have jobs. I work and I have stuff to do too. I still find time for my friends. Some people need to just get over themselves and own up to their mistakes and problems.

They aren't your friends

I noticed that the area of phoniness tends to be more female oriented, at least what the data shows on this site. Seems that women are more likely to lie ehen there is an expectation to behave in a certain matter, like saying "lets get together" when there is absolutely no desire to do so.
I have one time where I was in a small group and this couple invited people in their Halloween party but me, amd they talked about it while I was present! Awful.

All this "socialization" crap is a bunch of crap to me.....

Most of the time, though, a desire not to offend is at the heart of people not telling the real reason why they don't to get together.

Many times, I don't want to get together with people because I'm just lazy. I can't tell those people that, though; they would be insulted.

It came to me LadyElaine why those people want to keep you as their friend on Facebook and as a contact.

1. Maybe as a back up in case their other "Close" friends within their friend proximity aren't available so they go to the next outer ring that you are in so it's convenient to them
2. Because they think you will be there for them because you have something they want

However, something else to keep in mind when people play these guessing games:
1. Those people who you probably see could be others that have something in common with such children of the same age, be part of a certain group like you might be hetero and they could be LGBT
2.They might like you but may not be interested in your interests or activities
3.All the money they don't have could have been saved for the things they do with the other people