I would go out more if it wasn't for drinking

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It's not the same when you're not invited. I'm not the sort to just show up somewhere, especially to a nightclub. Plus I hate nightclubs and I'm not exactly the life and soul of a group, so it's obvious that I won't enjoy the night if I'm not drinking with them. But if I did enjoy drinking, I know I would automatically be invited out and be more approved of.

Also I have a habit of comparing myself to others. If there is a loud, extroverted girl around me who has a million friends and all the guys are after her, I get super jealous and it makes me feel depressed.

Also there's a man at work who fancies every girl, but nobody ever says he fancies me. I thought it might be because I have a boyfriend, but he fancies a girl who already has a boyfriend and he knows the boyfriend (he knows my boyfriend too). So it has made me feel like I'm ugly. I'm not saying I want to be liked by other men, but it would still give me a confidence boost and also I would feel like the other girls at work. I just want to belong.

I think what's more cruel than having an ASD is having an ASD and thinking like an NT; wanting to be like everyone else, wanting to fit in, feeling a sense of happiness when you are accepted, etc. Social acceptance is important to me.

mmm, well, first, like others here had sugested, find acceptance where its more due, like nerd communities. many nerds dont drink either btw. then, dont proclaim u dont drink\smoke. go to a gathering. go for alcho-free drinks there. only respond if asked. yep, i like that stuff more. but i also like u guys, so shall we all go for our tastes? if a community is BUILT around getting shitfaced, its a wrong sort of community. if its not, nobody will have problem with u, unless u give them one. yes i perfectly relate about acceptance. i have so long trail of that problem. but well, trully, i managed to sit out things with alcho, and even have fun.
about nightclubs, ya well a thing for a taste. but ukno nerds dont meet in clubs, they meet in libraries)))) or in chats^^ and cyberspace is a lifespace too. main one, for me.

I'm too dumb for nerds but too intelligent for partiers. I don't consider myself a nerd.

U DONT sound dumb to me. and nerds can be all different))))

One glass of wine or half a pint of beer can't hurt, can it? Just drink it very slowly.

well i dont like it, i dont do it) its not about hurt or not, its about something i simply dont want xD
and ya also, when u communicate in chats, nobody knows what u are drinking at all)))) or wearing, or whatever xD

That is what I do if I do go out to any bar on a rare occasion. It hardly gets me drunk enough to forget my social anxiety. I do like a beer every now and then, but I still don't consider myself a drinker. Alcohol isn't the first thing on my mind each time I go into a pub.