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How to friendzone a guy and set boundaries with him

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Summer_Twilight
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24 Oct 2018, 7:21 am

I talked about him coming to my birthday celebration on Sunday but since he made me feel uncomfortable, how do I let him down by being polite?



magz
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24 Oct 2018, 7:40 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
I talked about him coming to my birthday celebration on Sunday but since he made me feel uncomfortable, how do I let him down by being polite?

"You made me feel uncomfortable, why should I invite you?" Well, maybe a bit too direct. This is what I could say to a guy in such a situation. Actually, never regretted 8)


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serpentari
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24 Oct 2018, 8:07 am

thats the idea frag being polite to abuzers. its what they use.


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Fnord
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24 Oct 2018, 8:11 am

magz wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
I talked about him coming to my birthday celebration on Sunday but since he made me feel uncomfortable, how do I let him down by being polite?
"You made me feel uncomfortable, why should I invite you?" Well, maybe a bit too direct. This is what I could say to a guy in such a situation. Actually, never regretted.
There is no such thing as being too direct.*

If he is so offended that he never speaks to her again, then there is no great loss -- getting a jerk to leave her alone has been the goal all along, right?


(* - Unless you are posting in The Haven.)



Summer_Twilight
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24 Oct 2018, 8:28 am

Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
I talked about him coming to my birthday celebration on Sunday but since he made me feel uncomfortable, how do I let him down by being polite?
"You made me feel uncomfortable, why should I invite you?" Well, maybe a bit too direct. This is what I could say to a guy in such a situation. Actually, never regretted.
There is no such thing as being too direct.*

If he is so offended that he never speaks to her again, then there is no great loss -- getting a jerk to leave her alone has been the goal all along, right?


(* - Unless you are posting in The Haven.)


So I am hearing you saying that it's okay to let him know that it was good to see him but based on our interactions, I don't feel it's going to work out for us to be friends.



Fnord
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24 Oct 2018, 8:31 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
I talked about him coming to my birthday celebration on Sunday but since he made me feel uncomfortable, how do I let him down by being polite?
"You made me feel uncomfortable, why should I invite you?" Well, maybe a bit too direct. This is what I could say to a guy in such a situation. Actually, never regretted.
There is no such thing as being too direct.*

If he is so offended that he never speaks to her again, then there is no great loss -- getting a jerk to leave her alone has been the goal all along, right?


(* - Unless you are posting in The Haven.)


So I am hearing you saying that it's okay to let him know that it was good to see him but based on our interactions, I don't feel it's going to work out for us to be friends.
No. What you are reading is my advice to tell him off, and then stay away from him.



Summer_Twilight
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24 Oct 2018, 8:57 am

Fnord wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
Fnord wrote:
magz wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
I talked about him coming to my birthday celebration on Sunday but since he made me feel uncomfortable, how do I let him down by being polite?
"You made me feel uncomfortable, why should I invite you?" Well, maybe a bit too direct. This is what I could say to a guy in such a situation. Actually, never regretted.
There is no such thing as being too direct.*

If he is so offended that he never speaks to her again, then there is no great loss -- getting a jerk to leave her alone has been the goal all along, right?


(* - Unless you are posting in The Haven.)


So I am hearing you saying that it's okay to let him know that it was good to see him but based on our interactions, I don't feel it's going to work out for us to be friends.
No. What you are reading is my advice to tell him off, and then stay away from him.


I just got off the phone but I didn't tell him off, rather I was assertive with him. I told him that it was good to see him but felt that because we are on different wavelengths and the fact that I kept playing mind games with me that it wasn't good for us to associate on any level. I said that we could be civil to each other when we cross paths but with limited communication. I also told him that I felt it wasn't a good idea for him to attend my birthday gathering after all because of his given history of inappropriate behavior.

I wished him well and said good luck to him and his choice of career and hung up before adding his number to auto-reject.



Summer_Twilight
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29 Oct 2018, 1:24 pm

Update:
I had contacted that guy and told him that I am not interested in being friends with him and that it's not a good idea for us to connect anymore. I also thought I blocked his number so I would not receive texts anymore.

He texted me last night and boasted about how he and another friend of his met up and joked around about what a "Loser" I am.



Fnord
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29 Oct 2018, 1:58 pm

How many more times are you going to contact him before you finally realize just how bad he is for you?

You would be better off to block his calls, his emails, and his texts, and then never, ever contact him again!!

NEVER.



Summer_Twilight
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29 Oct 2018, 2:52 pm

Fnord wrote:
How many more times are you going to contact him before you finally realize just how bad he is for you?

You would be better off to block his calls, his emails, and his texts, and then never, ever contact him again!!

NEVER.



:lol: No, I was trying to avoid him and I didn't contact him after politely telling him that it's not a good idea to hang out and wished him good luck even had blocked his phone number which I thought had blocked his text. Because you are right, because he is not good for me because that's an abusive relationship. Rather he had the nerve to text me last night when I was in bed and attack me and call me a loser.

I blocked him and told him that if he ever contacts me again, I will call the police.



Aspie19828
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03 Nov 2018, 7:57 am

There is no friend zone. Friend zone = nobody. Cut all contact and ghost them.