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Signs that you're in a bad friendship.

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blazingstar
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03 May 2020, 9:42 am

Summer_Twilight wrote:
shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
A friendship could be good one minute and bad the next minute

Good and bad is a spectrum not binary

Cost benefits analysis

Every situation is different


That is good point, there are friendships that start out good and then turn bad depending on the circumstances


While I agree with this statement, I also think it creates the frog in the frying pan situation. At what point does one pull out, when you can "see" why s/he did x,y,z. And if you were really kind, loving and understanding, you would not be upset each time s/he does x, y, z or all three of them multiple times.

I have tolerated many relationships with the further above characteristics. I kept making excuses for him and at what point do you throw the entire relationship out the window?


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nadroJ
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03 May 2020, 10:54 am

-They just use you for material items (cigarettes, alcohol).
-They take advantage of your anxiety and lack of verbality so they can overload on you, but do not overload on other people.
-They talk about you behind your back.
-After years of loyalty with them and giving them your heart and soul, they just leave without much notice.
-After years of loyalty and using you, they can easily make new friends and forget about you.
-When you finally open up to them for the first time, after they have spend a long time overloading and overwhelming your mind, they ridicule you and they do not care.
-You give them compassion but receive no compassion back.
-They are overwhelming.
-Subjective if your not good with groups of people: they are good at communicating in groups and you can not handle it/find it overwhelming.
-The friendship becomes cognitive rather than presentary, causing pathological anxiety/depression.

^Reasons why I do not have friends and try to be my own best friend. In the past, 'friends' have treated me this way.


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Bustduster
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03 May 2020, 11:30 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:
- They treat ok when it's just the two of you but ignore you or treat you badly in front of others.


I agree with this one, but it can also work in reverse. Some psychologically abusive people are very good at putting on a civil persona in front of others but treating you like dirt when there's no-one else around.



I love belko61
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03 May 2020, 3:49 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:
Wow 8O

There's literally not one single person in the world who has the privilege of showing up uninvited at my house.


Except for family and the odd person from Kijiji NOBODY knows where I live, and I haven't invited any non-family to my house that wasn't as a favour to my kids in 10 years or so, or a repairman. I also never say my last name - just in case someone can figure out where I live and do an unexpected drop-in. No friends, but I do know quite a few people.