One-sided friendship?

Post Reply New Topic

Very true, based on personal experience and anecdotal evidence from others.

The perception of weakness often attracts the wrong sort of people.
But there are nice skunks around, who just want to be supportive, too.

It's so entirely strange to me that this is generally accepted behavior for the sum of humanity. I've been given no other option but to accept it, but it's something my brain literally cannot grasp. When I see someone weak, I want to comfort them or I want to help them. In a worst case scenario I want to help them to knock off the weak behavior because its ultimately in their best interest to do so. But to see weakness and equate it with opportunity, I just literally can't grasp this. I also gain absolutely nothing from the dominance jousts so many people enjoy. Why can't we just cultivate bonds of understanding and acceptance with people? It really feels like base level human interaction has a lot of fear and anticipation that others are threats of some kind. We are one big family it's just disappointing it really doesn't feel like that.

I feel exactly that same as you.
I suspect most on the spectrum have a particularly strong moral compass.

But there is no hiding from reality.
Have a look at this thread I created not that long ago: viewtopic.php?t=390752

Sociopaths and psychopaths *enjoy* mindducking vulnerable people.
I am talking from personal experience.

I remember what it was like to have a ‘friend’ who used to ‘fix’ my car for me. Over a period of 2 years or more he spent his time milking me for money. The car stopped having the litany of problems once he no longer went near it.
Also he got me in my car once and drove me on a suburban street at 70. This was in my area where there are children playing in the street. He then said I was ‘screaming like a b***h.’ He took money for parts and then took two weeks just to come over and fit them so the car would work again, that was after he had pierced two tyres on one side by driving it roughly onto my drive.
Basically he was a user. Over the years he went from being friendly in manner to progressively more rude until when he had written my car off so it was unusable and I phoned begging him to fit the part I’d ordered a month before he was just chewing on the other end of the phone and being dismissive.
When he finally fitted the part it was plug in and go. He was two mins on my drive.
I’d thought we were mates and that he was a friend, and I would have always been there for him but in reality he was a thieving bastard.
I don’t think of myself as being friends with anyone per se anymore. I have colleagues I get on with, some more than others. I also have my wife and our kids.

Ah yes don't I know. I suspect plenty an Aspie has encountered a statistically significant amount of malevolent personalities. Narcissists, Machiavellians, psychopaths, sociopaths and such. Given these people make up roughly 5% of the population, the average person has very little odds of meeting them and if they do they will likely get passed by.

I have worked for and with a significant amount of dark triad personalities. Leaves a person with lingering doubts about the basic goodness of mankind. They actually make me very sad for them that their hearts have calloused over so thoroughly and that they approach the world like a rabid animal whose primary and maybe even sole motivator is their own self interest.

I don't outwardly project a vulnerable image per se, but there is definitely a difference people notice from a far. I would say my standards for friendship depend on trust and mutual vulnerability but in terms of the face I show the world, vulnerable would not be my first word choice.

I feel like I can blend well enough with the general population. It's just a matter that when it comes to friendships I seek out a greater meaning of depth and understanding and this is not really the norm. Most people are content to have activity partners and fairly surface level interactions and that legitimately feels like an absolute waste of life.

So maybe Aspie's aren't necessarily bad at connecting, their standards for connection pierce through the banality and more shallow layers that plenty of people are content experiencing and they seek out connections of richer meaning to their lives?

I am fine to have one friend who I can feel completely safe, secure and comfortable completely unguarded than countless surface level connections with people who eh do they even care about you?

like the hub,
im so stupid to be forgivefull,
you can't beat resentment that way

or i keep forgetting,
why??????????????????????????




o why, every day schedule, i say "goodmorning"
.....crickets....

he gets very angry toward me saying anything, or is it acting??
in compagny he plays that i'm incoherent, specially with french people,
latest; he was so used to disregarding, he did that automatically with dd too
(if i mumble say that, idk )




anyway.....its the same here
pattern
everyday is ..........crickets