Aspies writing long messages
I love reading long aspie posts. Or short ones. Whichever. But "too long" by NT standards posts do make me happy.
I have always been embarrassed about how long my emails, texts, posts, replies etc. are, & always considered it yet another example of my inability to person like the other persons. The time it takes to edit me down into acceptable wordage used to end in me beating myself up for being unable to just be "normal"-- ie appropriate, pithy, prioritize which parts of the information would be most important to the reader (usually the most boring to me-"hi how are u") & which parts I should leave out (often the really interesting parts to me--like if I saw a lizard & it prompted me to research lizards & I found out amazing information about a certain lizard species, why wouldn't I put that information BEFORE "hi how are u"?! OBVS it is so much more interesting & important.).
But post diagnosis I researched good aspie stuff about similarities & how lots (not all) of us do this with information/communication & how I don't need to fall into a societally-induced shame spiral over things that I actually, personally speaking, realize now that I quite enjoy.
So when I see a long post on an aspie forum I am happy to read it! Bc it reminds me of how I used to think I had to constantly edit myself for the world. And now I know that I don't.
And thank you (someone) for saying it is better for you to read things when broken into paragraphs & why.- I never considered that perspective & now will paragraph.
Apparently it's a common thing, possibly related to autistic inertia and/or the desire, ironically, to communicate clearly (by providing supporting information). The result tends to be data-dumps of posts (I've heard it referred to affectionately as "delivery of encyclopedias by air-drop"). The verbal equivalent is talking on and on without giving anyone else a space to reply, but of course when writing a post there simply isn't another person standing there looking impatient to give you the clue; either you have that social requirement internalized/simulated via theory of mind, or you can easily write and write and write until you run out of steam.
...And yes, I have caught myself doing it. Quite a lot.
Unfortunately I don't know many Autistic people, but those write much less than me
I try to be short and to the point when I get to know someone, but the more we correspond and if I like them, my responses become longer and longer, up to a few pages. I really try to compress my thoughts, but because I also tend to be cautious and rather overexplain the topics - for not to be misunderstood - the length of the letter will suffer.
Generally I formulate my answers for hours and I always send it.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 152 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 73 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
I have always been embarrassed about how long my emails, texts, posts, replies etc. are, & always considered it yet another example of my inability to person like the other persons. The time it takes to edit me down into acceptable wordage used to end in me beating myself up for being unable to just be "normal"-- ie appropriate, pithy, prioritize which parts of the information would be most important to the reader (usually the most boring to me-"hi how are u") & which parts I should leave out (often the really interesting parts to me--like if I saw a lizard & it prompted me to research lizards & I found out amazing information about a certain lizard species, why wouldn't I put that information BEFORE "hi how are u"?! OBVS it is so much more interesting & important.).
But post diagnosis I researched good aspie stuff about similarities & how lots (not all) of us do this with information/communication & how I don't need to fall into a societally-induced shame spiral over things that I actually, personally speaking, realize now that I quite enjoy.
So when I see a long post on an aspie forum I am happy to read it! Bc it reminds me of how I used to think I had to constantly edit myself for the world. And now I know that I don't.
And thank you (someone) for saying it is better for you to read things when broken into paragraphs & why.- I never considered that perspective & now will paragraph.
Personally, short posts (such as here on WP) can also be misunderstood - that is even short posts can sometimes be difficult to understand. For example, content whose scope "goes over people's heads!"
This is definitely true for me, I even have had people laugh at me for writing ''novels'' when a short message would be enough. I also rarely use emojis, so people sometimes consider my texts weird.
However, I do this only when it is a single message. In a longer conversation, I often don't know what to talk about and how to keep the conversation going.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,114
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
Notswithstanding proper page separation , with paragraphs and commas and periods , it almost feels as if you
Are cheatin* someone out of information , if you present a topic and you do not provide adequate backgrouund information . For. The. Next person. To be able to be on the same page as you . Consequently how does one expect to have a conversation on equal terms .?
Just my excuse for presenting adequate information .Although this does forego certain social cues for breaks in a conversation that others might consider normal .
_________________
Diagnosed hfa
Loves velcro,
My length of messages depends on who I'm talking to. I try not to write too long messages to people I dont know, because it might be a waste of time if they dont bother to read or reply. If its someone I know pays full attention to what i say or ask, I'll make it longer. But even then, I might keep it short if I dont have much to say or if the person might be too busy to read a long message.
I have always been embarrassed about how long my emails, texts, posts, replies etc. are, & always considered it yet another example of my inability to person like the other persons. The time it takes to edit me down into acceptable wordage used to end in me beating myself up for being unable to just be "normal"-- ie appropriate, pithy, prioritize which parts of the information would be most important to the reader (usually the most boring to me-"hi how are u") & which parts I should leave out (often the really interesting parts to me--like if I saw a lizard & it prompted me to research lizards & I found out amazing information about a certain lizard species, why wouldn't I put that information BEFORE "hi how are u"?! OBVS it is so much more interesting & important.).
But post diagnosis I researched good aspie stuff about similarities & how lots (not all) of us do this with information/communication & how I don't need to fall into a societally-induced shame spiral over things that I actually, personally speaking, realize now that I quite enjoy.
So when I see a long post on an aspie forum I am happy to read it! Bc it reminds me of how I used to think I had to constantly edit myself for the world. And now I know that I don't.
And thank you (someone) for saying it is better for you to read things when broken into paragraphs & why.- I never considered that perspective & now will paragraph.
This post made me feel less alone in the world; sentiments expressed I understand entirely.
And when I'm not self-editing to appear to function more similarly to the remainder of the human population, I come across so uncomfortable and uninteresting. I've also noticed when I'm trying to blend I am treated like a very unintelligent person which amuses me given I'm mostly just mirroring what I see as typical human behavior, language and mannerisms.
I also very much enjoy reading the posts here that are novellas on a topic interesting to the person writing, they are typically a joy to read.
I generally write long posts. This is because my desire is that people who are reading get the correct understanding of what i write, I do not like people misunderstanding what i am trying to communicate.
In this world, it can be hard to put into words what you mean, and that is without malicious people twisting everything you say and do.
I believe the lack of interest in small talk is a common feature or trait for people who suffer from ASD.
I believe this is because we are more logical than emotional, so we find small talk boring, frustrating,
and not a very logical way to spend time.
Small talk is nothing talk, although I guess for NTs it does serve a purpose. Friendly nothing talk that eases difficult moments where two people have nothing to talk about, are nervous and do not know what to talk about, or in some circumstances you have no real interest in talking to a person so you small talk so as not to look rude.
Perhaps it may also be something to do with many of us ASD's lacking in empathy, so we aren't that comfortable asking nothing questions because we don't care or are overwhelmed by our own sensory experience of life.
I don't know, perhaps there are other reasons why NT's favour small talk.
In this world, it can be hard to put into words what you mean, and that is without malicious people twisting everything you say and do.
I believe the lack of interest in small talk is a common feature or trait for people who suffer from ASD.
I believe this is because we are more logical than emotional, so we find small talk boring, frustrating,
and not a very logical way to spend time.
Small talk is nothing talk, although I guess for NTs it does serve a purpose. Friendly nothing talk that eases difficult moments where two people have nothing to talk about, are nervous and do not know what to talk about, or in some circumstances you have no real interest in talking to a person so you small talk so as not to look rude.
Perhaps it may also be something to do with many of us ASD's lacking in empathy, so we aren't that comfortable asking nothing questions because we don't care or are overwhelmed by our own sensory experience of life.
I don't know, perhaps there are other reasons why NT's favour small talk.
I experience small talk like an interrogation that you have to be ever so sensitive to the subtext of the questions and answers because rarely are most people, in this culture at least, ever free to truly say what they think and mean because of social priming to appear more likable and pleasant than they really are.
Normally small talk feels to me like a person or group is gathering material for them to later use as comic relief at me when I am not around, as if I'm not aware of what's happening. As if I'm not aware I'm the "weird" one in a group that I have no substantive interest in aside from a forced obligation to interact as is required by proximity typically through work.
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