Why do NT adults eat different food?

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Yes, senior menus offer decent food too.

It's crap in the middle.

They think that loading one ingredient over another makes a meal. It doesn't. It makes a mess and makes me physically sick.

Fortunately I have parents who understand that and who don't take me to places that are that much up their own arses. Esp since nowadays, regular places offer vegan stuff for mum.

But when I go out to eat with my cousins, they insist on these places where I either end up wasting money or being physically sick. All because of (as admitted above) a childish and selfish sense of 'boredom'.

Sorry, but then why do you go out to eat with them in the first place? You could eat on your own and meet up with them under some other circumstances, assuming you want to meet them in the first place of course. That's how I roll; I don't go to places that don't have anything I can eat... or if I do, I don't order anything and save my money for something I can actually eat later on.

Friends and family are different.

I go out to eat with them out of obligation.

It would be seen as incredibly rude if I didn't. Like I was saying 'I don't want to be part of this family'.

Esp since they're really boring to be with. We have little in common, they rarely want to do activities, I rarely want to sit around doing nothing but gossip and it's an activity enough for me without being a chore for them.

I mean what would 'don't eat with extended family' look like? No Christmas dinner? No meals out? Being the only one at home when my entire family is out? Forcing people to ask 'why'? At what age was this meant to begin? In childhood?

They should be ok (since it won't provoke sensory sensitivities/allergies/even moral debate in them) having occasional meals of things like a pizza or fish and chips (for goodness sake they live inland like I do now, fish and chips from the seaside is a treat) etc without it being a huge ordeal for them. It's only 3 times a year. But either me being physically sick is a problem, me being unable to eat anything is a problem or me causing a fuss is a problem.

And they extend it to my mum as well. My uncle keeps reminding my mum that her carrots were once alive and 'might feel pain' the same as his chicken. I don't do that and I eat meat too. Of course, mum is choosing to be vegan so it's slightly different but it means a lot to her and he's bringing up stupid arguments.

Honestly, I love my cousins. But I don't like them very much. Their hobbies are: food, shopping, gossip and dogs.

^ So the problem is that you don't want to seem rude and that you don't want to hurt their feelings? Hmm, the former I can't understand since they are being rude if they never let you choose or otherwise take your limitations to count, but the later I can understand. Still, it's possible to set boundaries to protect yourself even if you love them. Saying no to something that is harmful to you doesn't mean you love them any less, and if they think it does, it's their loss and shame, not yours.

Yeah.

If it was just cousins I wouldn't have a problem with saying 'no'. I'm the older cousin but only by 3 years. We're peers/equals.

But since it's my uncle pushing it... I feel dragged along.

He always gets his own way. When we were kids, we went on holiday. The parents took us one day at a time. When it was my parents' turn, we did childish things that kids like. When it was his (and my aunt's turn) we went to an overly noise stimulated party for adults which wasn't suitable for children.

I wish my mum had the guts and wasn't such a people pleaser and could talk to her sister and say 'look, you're not taking our needs into account'.

I wish I had the guts to say 'now that I'm an adult, I want nothing to do with your fancy foods. They make me ill and I don't care that you're a supposed expert, if you want to meet me, meet me somewhere that caters to my needs'.
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But it's not just them. I was on a week long poetry retreat and all they served was fancy foods like that, one pot foods where you had to like every single flavour.

Or I go to poetry workshops and they expect us to be excited about the fancy patisseries but don't tell us 'by the way there's also a McDonalds down the street if that's better for your taste sensitivity'.

That makes me sound like I only eat unhealthy food I actually eat a lot of what was normal in the 50s in terms of healthy normal food (ie pie/meat, vegetables, potatoes), jacket potatoes, pastas as well as eating salads throughout summer. I've always been underweight or normal weight. It's just everything has to be plain. I couldn't actually eat the burgers at McDonalds but just cos they offer chips with a little bit of salt, they're better than places that only deal in rich (also unhealthy) foods.

It's to the point where between this and other stuff I tend to only make friends with aspies who have similar dietary requirements.