Dear People Who Are In The Elevator With Me

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Dear Fellow Bus Passengers,

Please use courtesy when chewing gum. The sight, smell, and sound of chewing gum are major sensory issues for me. Please chew your gum quietly, without popping or snapping. Please do not chew strong-smelling flavors like grape and cinnamon. Please do not spit your gum on the bus floor.

Love, Cooper

OKAY... OKAY! ALRIGHT ALREADY!

Dang!

I'm getting off at the next floor! AND I AIN'T TALKING TO ANY OF YOU! ...

Seriously, I AM SORRY!

I didn't mean to mess up the dream! This is why I don't post a lot in the Autism or AS specific forums... there are some things that I don't fit in with.

I can understand that some of you all (or all of you all?) would like to have more people just know to not talk to you.

Woodsman25,

I thought there might be the chance you were not in the city, but in the beautiful GREEN part of the state!

I agree with you on the feeling of a haircut. I do my own for now (run the electric clippers through my hair all at one length), but the times when I have had other people do it for me... oh man!... it is such a calming feeling

Dear supervisors that work in the pit in the casino I work at:

Please don't fart whilst walking in front of me, the smell is noxious.

Dear neighbor.

Please don't put bear-traps in front of my house.
I know that there are bears here but I truly doubt that out of 2 times a year they come around here-they'll stop by my house when there are always people outside and your trap can be seen from miles away.

Besides, it's cruel&dangerous.

Your neighbor(the one you put bear-traps in front of her house)

Dear Person Next to Me at the Bus Stop:

Please do not ask me what I am reading. It should be clear that I'm not interested in conversation, since I have my nose in a book. I realize that giving a one-word answer or simply showing you the cover would seem rude, so you make me feel obligated to either give a summary of a book you probably wouldn't like anyway, or try to smile and sweetly say, "Oh, just some historical fiction" and then try to figure out when I can turn back to my book, and when I can wipe the smile off my face without making it obvious that it was fake in the first place, or inviting further conversation because now you think I'm friendly. Just please, leave me alone.

dear lady on the phone of the number in the paper about the van for sale,

I want to thank you for telling me the van is not worthy of daily transportation and I would have to sink a lot of money into it to make it run well. I appreciate that more than I can express for both my pocketbook and my peace of mind.

You doing that just barely masks the fact that your husband was ready to sell it to me in a heartbeat until you found out I worked in the same company you did, just in a different area, and then it became the worst van every offered for sale ever in the whole world.

I am glad for Wrong Planet for catching me up to the clue you were giving me, and I didn't try to argue you out of trying to 'unsell' me as I would have usually done, too! That cognative therapy sure comes in handy!

Merle

Frankly I think that a small conversation in the elevator isn't that horrible. As for the stylist cutting your hair you should be polite and talk to them about minor things. As for the one in the class with the girl having a hard time I would try to show some emapthy as hard as it is for some of you.

I never have this problem when i get a hair cut. The person usually asks me how i want it cut thats all no other conversation.
its still extremely stressful and they can probably see that and thats why they dont talk to me

i rarely go out and when i do no one talks to me. i would rather be left out then stressed from people talking to me.

If i know someone well then i would li8ke them to talk to me but talking to random people feels pointless. If someone talkso to me I try to talk to them but the conversation always dies.

When i was in hospital one of the other patients was irritated with me because i found it hard to keep the conversation going. I did not have a clue about what he was saying. I know nothing about drugs or football.

Those people really ALL want to talk to you?
I couldn't imagine that. I live in Germany, where normally cab drivers and people in elevators or in the grocery store, at a bus stop or where/whatever don't talk to you mostly- the hair dresser does talk to some people, but not to me anyway... (I don't know why that is.)
I think, after reading this, that I have a much easier small-talk life here than you do...
If they were ALL talking to me, that'd be quite stressful (I'd probably better stay here ).

Dear gynecologist,

Please don't ask me to explain my painting career while I am in a compromising position and your hand is in the last place I would like it to be.

Dear Dental Hygienist,

Ditto.

And please know I can't talk properly and I don't care if your grandmother used to do amazing watercolors.

Dear whoever,

Go ahead talk to me, mindless chatter, stupid questions...the whole lot, bring it on it doesn't phase me anymore.

Just don't stand there with the expression "the aliens have just landed" written all over your face when you find me a tad bit "different".

No...I will not fix your 13 year old computer, tune up your dead mower, unclog your hoover, or sew your daughter's prom dress. Don't give me an attitude when I say the word "no"...I may spend alot of time at home "doing nothing"...but trust me, I am far from bored and my dance card is very full at the moment.

Don't poke me, grab my hands, or spray me with some nasty a$$ perfume you just feel I should try. In fact if you do the later and I can still breathe after having my asthma attack...I will consider hunting you down and throwing something at you.

The hair is real...it's attached. Don't pull it...I don't bite, but I can kick...high.

That is all.