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CockneyRebel
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18 Aug 2005, 5:58 pm

I thought that some of the girls that I once worked with were friends. They turned out to be users.



Papillon
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19 Aug 2005, 4:12 pm

Civet,

I'd say give your self some time to get to know her as a person as well as to welcome the opportunity of a new friendship in your life. You sound like you're doing pretty good so far. I know we
Aspies are a little "slower" upstairs than NT's but it sounds like she is open and accepting of who you are.

By all means, use your powers of observation and in time, you will begin to map out and know the nature of whatever her negative as well as positive aspects of character may be. Each and everyone of us has positive as well as negative traits. The question now is whether her neg traits are the sort you feel you can accept in your life.

It sounds like she has a hobby or two she likes to share with anyone who has the same interests, but here, I thought I'd throw in a few more Q's as a suggestion about getting to know this newcomer in your life:
Have you explained your autism to her? If so, how did she respond, and how does she treat it? How are her interractions with friends and family? Is there mutual respect in her family or is there an air of dysfunctionality? Has she met your family? If so, how do your family feel about her? Is she honest? Well-mannered? Assertive? Or does she sometimes belittle certain people or talk behind their backs? How does everyone else get along with her at work? Is there any negative trait that is predominent in her circle of friends? Do you notice any kind of bullying amongst her peers? OTOH, do you notice any signs of her being a victim in any way to somebody else in her life? What are her favorite subjects and how does she broach them? Has she told you anything about her life's story? If so, are her memories mostly happy or is there a lot of outstanding acrimony of any sort? How is her overall attitude about life? Is there a lot of pessimism or does she see the brighter side of things and change the things that she can change and accept the things that she can't?

From what I see here, she sounds like somebody I'd like to know a bit better, but then I couldn't really give you anything straight unless she was somebody I knew personally.

Be open but take your time to get to know her. It is my hope that you've found yourself a rare and precious jewel in meeting this lady.


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If "manners maketh man" as someone said
Then he's the hero of the day
It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile
Be yourself no matter what they say

**Sting, Englishman In New York


Tak
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20 Aug 2005, 1:32 pm

Civet wrote:
One of my coworkers seems to have taken a platonic interest in me. She asked to see my website and also gave me her deviant art site and her livejournal. In order to see her livejournal I had to sign up so I started one too. Anyway, she wants to go fabric shopping with her so I can make her a stuffed wombat (which she will pay for). I feel awkward because at times I feel like she feels sorry for me because I have no friends in the area and am so reserved. She sometimes talks in that voice people generally reserve for small children when she is speaking to me.



I'd say try it but make it clear you are not a charity case, and the babytalk is unneccesary! Oh GHODS that would drive me bugshit........