Ok, I know people who are friends with me see a person with multyple personalities, I have been forced to tell them what is happening so they do not get offended and think I dont like them.
Indeed, I am very similar to the OP's friend in that I just cant stand talking on the phone, to the point sometimes where I wont answer it, and even, rudely, sometimes I dont respond to their message unless I see them online. I am a crappy friend because I only wanna hang out 2 days a week (fri and sat nights) and the rest of it I have a routine of working, sleeping and being alone locked in my house.
I come off as unfriendly, someone that does not wanna hang out much also because when invited to come over, or go out or whatever half the time I make up an excuse because it will effect my routine. I am not always riggid, but can be more then its good to be certainly.
I re-ashure my friends that I like them but sometimes am forced to explain my situation or lie. It seems many take offence to me not wanting to hang out or being quick on the phone, I dont mean it that way at all.
I think your friend does not realize how he is making others feel, I have been their and learned my lesson, sometimes you gotta compromise with your riggidness and do something for others to re-ashure them. I certainly recommend if u gotta talk to him instant message him or go see him instead, phones suck!
That E-mail no doubt damaged the friendship in his eyes, I would try and explain things and hopefully he will understand and change his ways. Indeed, being friends with an aspie is hard work, and it took me 25 years to learn I need to also be flexible and make people work less hard for my friendship or else I wont have friends, he may not be at this point in his social life yet, understanding this. I hope that e-mail is a wake up call for him and you guys can understand eachother. Understand that he will never 100% show you what normal friends show, but I am sure he values your friendship and may even be hurt by the e-mail. Go talk to him and try to make things better!
_________________
DX'ed with HFA as a child. However this was in 1987 and I am certain had I been DX'ed a few years later I would have been DX'ed with AS instead.
08 Jan 2008, 4:35 pm
