How do you feel about parties?

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I hate them. It doesn't seem to matter what kind of party, who is there or anything, I always end up feeling really spaced out and just shut off. There's a weird atmosphere at parties.

The only "party" I recall enjoying was just a tiny get-together really and we all ended up having a heated debate about something or other.

Even when I was little my Mum would reply with a "Yes she'll be attending" and then I'd pretend to be sick so I didn't have to go. The ones that I did attend I remember talking to the adults and finding quiet corners to hide in.

Fortunately, nowadays I have no friends, so no pressure to go to parties. There's still family get-togethers but I'm getting better at being brave enough to actually speak my mind at these things.

I don't go to parties. I mean, like birthday parties are fine, but frat or college parties, no. It's not the crowd aspect - I just don't enjoy dancing, I don't like staying up all night, I don't drink, I don't like creepy guys trying to get me to sleep with them, and I despise drunk people, particularly those I know personally.

I like a small drunken gathering with mostly people I know, then maybe a few new people to meet but no stress. Family parties with my mothers side of the family are also lovely because we're all the same.

The worst kinds of parties are...

*Work related
*With family members you don't like
*The ones that a partner drags you along to where you have to meet all his friends and pray to god they don't hate you
*The ones you are invited to by old school friends
*The ones where your only connection is through your friend, who is a friend of a friend of a friend of the hosts brother, or something. Why are we here again? Oh, I remember, because we're too cheap to go to a club.

I echo your sentiments...parties can be scary especially if you have sensory integration issues like I do, you'd either get too excited and carry on like an idiot or get that distressed that you nearly start crying tears of frustration, so these days I avoid family gatherings and most party like atmospheres.

Selena

but I can get through them ever since my MD prescribed ativan (can I say that?) and I premedicate.

If that's not a possibility (like, I'd have to drive home), I come up with a quest for the party... like a secret objective. To find out one particular thing about a particular person... to dig up some dirt on someone I'm curious about... to try to get people talking about something I'm interested in... even just to see someone else's house. (I can tell way more about a person by looking at their stuff than by looking at them or talking to them.)

But no one ever invites me to parties, so it's moot anyway.

I usually do not partake, but it happens that tonight I will be attending a birthday party for a friend. The attendees are people i know, some of whom I consider friends. I think I'll be ok. Maybe I'll have a drink or two. The Birthday Boy has a huge selection of CD's and music DVD's, and so even if I am not talking to anyone, at least my ears will get some company.

Personally, I don't mind parties. But I would avoid college parties where its so loud and theres tons of college students boozing and getting drunk. The police mite come and arrest random people.

I attend parties sometimes, but I always go home early. I even left my sister's wedding reception early.

When I wake up in the morning, I have a limited amount of "nice" in me. Exposure to other people throughout the day uses up my "nice", and the more people who are around me, and the more overstimulated I get, the more quickly it drains away. When it runs out, I must rely on my limited reserves of "civil" to get me by, until I can get home to relax and immerse myself in my interests and recharge. If I run out of "civil" before I get to recharge, it's meltdown time. If I go to a party at a time when I am fully charged up with "nice", I can manage for a while, but I rarely have enough of it to last me a whole evening. So just like Cinderella hearing the clock striking midnight, when I feel myself running low on "nice", I know it's time to say my farewells and get the heck out of there.

Depending on the situation and the fullness of my "nice" tank, I may stay just long enough to make my appearance and eat a snack (usually the case with the work-related or church-related or mere acquaintance parties), or I might stay for a couple of hours and talk with a friend in a relatively quiet corner (for parties where a real friend or close family member is attending). It is best when I drive myself to a party, instead of riding with others, because that way I can leave whenever I'm ready.

I'll never forget the time some people from my dorm in college insisted on dragging me to a bar to celebrate my birthday, and I didn't have a car at the time, so they drove me there. It was so noisy and smoky and crowded with unfamiliar people that I ended up spending half the evening hiding in the ladies room, weeping.

Note on alcohol consumption. It takes an hour to get into your bloodstream and an hour out. Nervous? Wait an hour.

I hate parties except small with friends. I don’t mind strangers, especially if they are drunk and won’t remember me. I take parties as an opportunity to broaden my knowledge base by chatting with a stranger and finding out something they know that I don’t but will research the hell out of if I am interested.

Party tip: Have a little drinkie before you go (especially if you are picky about what you drink), show up late so everyone is at the brink of being plastered when you arrive, smile, greet, listen (never talk unless necessary, smile and nod at things said that you don’t understand, take a FAKE (and I know you hate this, but think strategy or exit plan) call that you have to go outside to hear and leave. No one will remember, a few will ask when you left (pad it by an hour, which makes them look bad because they left later than you), and go decompress. Alone.

When I was in college and I used to go to clubs with the girls (I drove myself always, they did the whole pack girl thing and met at each other’s house, picked up, packed into car, etc) I used to tell them I was going to the bathroom and sneak out. Next day?

Them: “Where’d you go”
Me: “Home”
Them “Why”
Me: “ I was tired/bored/stalked and couldn’t find you” (gives them a sense of guilt)
Them: “Oh” “OK, what are you doing tonight”
Me: more excuses to not go out again…broke, tired, ill, early day at work, ANYTHING!

See, this is where NT lying comes in handy but as you all know, is not nice, hence NT’s are all liars. I call them coping skills.

Reality is if I said “I hate you all for making me go into a loud smoky room why can’t we just hang home (they can’t meet guys there) I hate going out it hurts my brain” means I would never be invited out again, which means those few low key and fun nights would have never happened which means I would have never met my last four boyfriends which means I would be a lot further along in life which means…crap. I wouldn’t be here because I found the most perfect man that I need to understand because I love him enough to put out an effort for a change because he is worth it.

Humph.

I've always hated them, specially when there's dancing and verybody expects you to dance with them.
I think that parties should offer varied entertainment. for instance, I'm thinking of the film Stealing Beauty (liv tyler)
where a rich family offers a big party and most of the town is invited. They do have dancers and a band to entertain guests.
that's a party I'd like to attend.

Hate 'em. I find a quiet corner and read a book.

Before I found out I had AS I would always feel bad if I didn't go to parties. My NT friends, with all the best intentions, would drag me out nearly every night to one party or another. The crowded rooms bothered me and wore me out with too many voices going at once.

Drunk girls would try to get me to go home with them or something...and I'm just not a drinking kind of guy. I think it's absolutely insane to become so intoxicated that it impairs your decision making processes. Now I avoid parties like the plague. My NT girlfriend understands enough to know that I just need to relax at home and watch a movie instead of going to the club or a party.

I remember when I was young my parents would always get invited to dinner parties and drag us along. They were anything but fun.

I have a love/hate relationship, depending on the atmosphere of the party and my own feelings at the time. Sometimes I love them, I talk to people I dont know and manage to find things to say, people seem to like me. (Then when I meet them the second time they think I have a split personality because I forget to say hi, or dont recognise them at all). Often though I find them very awkward, standing in the corner, not knowing what to say or do. I go to every one I am invited to though (which isnt that many) because when it works it is so so good! Is this how it is for NTs all the time?

The ones WITHOUT alcohol are the best and dancing like homecoming and all that jazz are amazing