Making friends: Is it worth the effort?
I have had the same four friends for 20 years. I met them in college. Other people come and go in my life.
NT friendships are weird. We bond over certain things (example, football) and only meet up over shared interests (during football season).
For those that come and go, we miss them from time to time and reach out and catch up.
Good friends we whine to, share our triumphs with (with no jealousy), and also have fun with (obscure adventures, bars, family drama, etc.). We stay away from them when we are in a relationship because the man/woman comes first. Eventually we find our way back and incorporate the significant other into our friend world.
I made one new friend a few years ago. She ended up being mean. Friendships that matter happen without trying.
Friends drain me of time (attending to their needs in spite of their attending to mine), money (let’s go out/away) and sanity (did she/he make it home ok tonight), but give the same back, so you are indeed obligated to miss your favorite tv show to celebrate their birthday in spite of wanting in all your heart to veg. It is worth it for the few that matter.
Most people will be casual acquaintances, so accept that they will not include you in on everything and don’t put out 150% effort.
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barber
Veteran
Joined: 24 May 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 653
Location: buncrana co.donegal ireland
i,m like a few of u guy's. i find it hardto make new friends but in most case because i live in small irish town i now most people by reputatioin or for want of a beter way of putting this i know of them them before i know them. this can also be siad for two of my jobs as most poeple i work with know me in one case because we have all been introduced this makes it some what more like a school though as we are reffered to as trainees we even refiar to the trainer (or tuders) on a first name basis i find this help alot as i'm terrorable with names. apart from this my best friend is also my cousin we've been best friends for nerly 15 years. most of my friend from outside of work i met thruogh him and my younger brother meny other i hve met at thier gigs
they used to be in band together however since its demise he (my brother ) hasn't played much and so i haven been to as meny gigs resently. this has made it diffucalt to make more friends. however i feel it worth the effort to make and keep friends as they will usualy have your back in tight times and this can make all the difference when your backed into a corner(in both sence of the expresion). so i thing it definitly important to make friend however watch out for fake ones whom seam to be friends but refuse to resond to all atempt on your part to keep in tuch
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